Today I met a new possible-future-friend while volunteering. I try to get out every Tuesday to read to the sisters and play games. Tonight we did some math trivia, read some poems about the wind and being thankful, then we played this awesome game with this awesome beach ball.
All the sisters were either in chairs or in their wheel chairs, and we moved walkers behind us. Then we kicked the beach ball to each other around the circle. Whenever the ball came to a standstill (as it did often since some sisters don't have a lot of strength in their legs), possible-future-friend and I would pick up the ball, and read a category off of it. The awesome thing about this ball is that it had lots of stars on it, and in each star there was a category. For example, we did "kinds of cheese", "kinds of birds", "Disney characters", "green vegetables", "ingredients in cookies", and a few others. This activity has the sisters moving, interacting with each other, and thinking! I would love a version of this for my students! This particular ball wouldn't work, however, because it says things like "Male movie stars before 1960", "brands of soap", and "Famous band leaders of the 1940's".
Anyway, possible-future-friend looks about my age, lives in Rochester, is a nurse, is not married, and has a roommate. She seems pretty awesome....Plus I really liked her sweater. It was an awesome sweater. Maybe we will volunteer at the same time again, and we can become friends. I think I might come on too strong if I said what I was thinking.
"Hey! I'm pretty new to town and don't know anyone outside of my work colleagues! I am looking to make non-work friends! You seem nice! Why don't you give me your phone number and we can hang out?"
See, if someone said that to me, I would be pretty receptive, I think. But I am weird. Also, I am quite aware that I am an acquired taste. Mostly because I am weird.....
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Henry Needs to Go Shopping!
My dad sent me this link today:
Last spring my family adopted a dog from a Last Hope. Henry (nee Freckles) is my father's 4th - and golden - child. Henry is allowed to sleep on Daddy's bed, and even sit on Daddy's pillow! Henry is allowed in the kitchen during dinner time! Henry loves to go for car rides! Henry has an abundance of toys. Of course it should be noted that Henry loves to play with his toys, and it is almost as entertaining for us to watch him as it is for him to play with it.
Anyway, point is, Henry is building quite a wardrobe. He has his scary skeleton onesie, his monster costume, and of course, his Lands End dog coat with reflectors and his name embroidered on the back. Needless to say, I think Henry will be needing a new outfit for this holiday.
Squeaky, on the other hand, owns nothing but her chicken hat. As you can see in the picture, she is none too thrilled with that. Maybe she needs something more fashionable.
As for Basil, he was so shook up about wearing the chicken hat that one time that he ran and hid under the stairs. I don't think we'll torture him on National Dress Up Your Pet Day.
Last spring my family adopted a dog from a Last Hope. Henry (nee Freckles) is my father's 4th - and golden - child. Henry is allowed to sleep on Daddy's bed, and even sit on Daddy's pillow! Henry is allowed in the kitchen during dinner time! Henry loves to go for car rides! Henry has an abundance of toys. Of course it should be noted that Henry loves to play with his toys, and it is almost as entertaining for us to watch him as it is for him to play with it.
Anyway, point is, Henry is building quite a wardrobe. He has his scary skeleton onesie, his monster costume, and of course, his Lands End dog coat with reflectors and his name embroidered on the back. Needless to say, I think Henry will be needing a new outfit for this holiday.
Squeaky, on the other hand, owns nothing but her chicken hat. As you can see in the picture, she is none too thrilled with that. Maybe she needs something more fashionable.
As for Basil, he was so shook up about wearing the chicken hat that one time that he ran and hid under the stairs. I don't think we'll torture him on National Dress Up Your Pet Day.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
22.1 Grams of Belly Button Lint
As you may know from reading my blog earlier this year, I really enjoy reading strange and bizarre news stories on the internet. I know that they may not always be true or might be exaggerated, but usually I am pretty good at telling which ones are just ridiculous. I find my articles by reading headlines, then clicking on new headlines, each one weirder than the last if possible.
Today I found this delightful article in the Daily Mail about an Australian librarian who has a record breaking belly button lint collection. Please re-read that description and let it sink in. Now you may proceed to read the article.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1323477/Record-breaking-belly-fluff-collection-Graham-Barker-collected-22-1g-26-years.html
At first I was amused, then a little disgusted, then amused again. But as I read more of the article, I began to become alarmed. Mr. Barker started collecting belly button lint because he was curious. He pulled out belly button lint one day while waiting for his shower to warm up, and he started to wonder how much belly button one person can accumulate. (Hilarious side note: Mr. Barker says he "harvests" the belly button lint.)
This got me to thinking. I get curious about things all the time. I am weird. I try little experiments in my home quite often. Also, I live with my cat who, while quite vocal, really can't tell me that she doesn't like me collecting my belly button lint in a jar on the sink. How long will it be before I start some weird, record-breaking habit? And what will it be?
Possible weird,(possibly disgusting), record-breaking habits I could possibly start:
* number of times I can use a tea bag before it either tastes awful or tastes just like water
* How many times my cat will meow back to me in the morning vs. evening
* how long can my armpit hair really grow?
* collecting tissues - how many of these do I use in a month?
* tally marks to keep track of how many cups of tea I really drink
And the list goes on and on. Or it could. Any extra ideas? All it takes is one day for me to actually act on the impulse to answer one of the millions of ridiculous questions that run through my head every day.
Please try not to judge too much if next time you see me I have armpit hair hanging down to my elbows, carrying a basket of used tissues and meowing.
Today I found this delightful article in the Daily Mail about an Australian librarian who has a record breaking belly button lint collection. Please re-read that description and let it sink in. Now you may proceed to read the article.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1323477/Record-breaking-belly-fluff-collection-Graham-Barker-collected-22-1g-26-years.html
At first I was amused, then a little disgusted, then amused again. But as I read more of the article, I began to become alarmed. Mr. Barker started collecting belly button lint because he was curious. He pulled out belly button lint one day while waiting for his shower to warm up, and he started to wonder how much belly button one person can accumulate. (Hilarious side note: Mr. Barker says he "harvests" the belly button lint.)
This got me to thinking. I get curious about things all the time. I am weird. I try little experiments in my home quite often. Also, I live with my cat who, while quite vocal, really can't tell me that she doesn't like me collecting my belly button lint in a jar on the sink. How long will it be before I start some weird, record-breaking habit? And what will it be?
Possible weird,(possibly disgusting), record-breaking habits I could possibly start:
* number of times I can use a tea bag before it either tastes awful or tastes just like water
* How many times my cat will meow back to me in the morning vs. evening
* how long can my armpit hair really grow?
* collecting tissues - how many of these do I use in a month?
* tally marks to keep track of how many cups of tea I really drink
And the list goes on and on. Or it could. Any extra ideas? All it takes is one day for me to actually act on the impulse to answer one of the millions of ridiculous questions that run through my head every day.
Please try not to judge too much if next time you see me I have armpit hair hanging down to my elbows, carrying a basket of used tissues and meowing.
I'm a Mindsticker!
It is time for another installment of sexist old commercials I get a kick out of:
Don't you want to have a good shape? HE wants you to have a good shape! Your man is working hard all day in the office while you are frolicking out in the woods! The least you can do for him is have a good shape so that he can fantasize about you. Come on, ladies!
Be a mindsticker! Guzzle that Tab!
Don't you want to have a good shape? HE wants you to have a good shape! Your man is working hard all day in the office while you are frolicking out in the woods! The least you can do for him is have a good shape so that he can fantasize about you. Come on, ladies!
Be a mindsticker! Guzzle that Tab!
Monday, November 22, 2010
A Temporary Bout of Insomnia
Alas it is one of those nights where I seem doomed to sleeplessness, but I have realized it too late to really do anything about it. I know that it really isn't that late yet, but I can tell that I am not going to be able to sleep for the next few hours. I'm feeling anxious and worked up about something, but I don't quite know what.
It has been a while now, but I am finally starting to feel like my happy, enthusiastic self again. I can sing in the shower, dance in the kitchen while cooking, and I don't even terribly mind doing the dishes after cooking. Granted, I miss having someone to cook for that did most of the dishes for me, but I am perfectly capable of doing the dishes myself. Am I perfectly capable of eating all the food I cook? Well, no, but that is a different matter. It seems I never learned to cook for one. In fact, it appears I don't know how to cook for two or three either. I just keep on cooking like I have an army to feed, when in fact it is just me. Squeaky prefers her cat food, which is good because it is probably healthier for a cat to eat cat food than chicken Tiki Marsala or baked pasta.
Now as you may or may not know, I enjoy watching "Law and Order: SVU". The Protagitron (http://protagitron.blogspot.com/) and I have spent many a weeknight watching Benson and Stabler solve crimes. We also took the "Law and Order: SVU" life lessons to heart. We know that this is not only an entertaining and completely accurate depiction of the justice system, but a warning of sorts to all us single women. In fact, I was just talking with Ashley, a colleague, about this the other day.
You see, if I have learned anything from "Law and Order: SVU" (SVU stands for Special Victims Unit, in case you didn't know), it is that any single woman living alone in any city is going to be attacked or at least targeted by a serial rapist/killer/stalker/animal rights activist. It seems that the chances of this go up dramatically if the single woman also works long hours. If you give the single woman working long hours a pet cat, well, an attack is inevitable. Now let's do the math. I am single in a city. I work ridiculously long hours. I have a cat that I treat as if she were a person. This puts me a bit ahead of Ashley who doesn't have a cat.
I wonder if the new "Law and Order: Los Vegas" or whatever it is has any important life lessons to learn? They would of course need to be relevant to my life, such as those presented in "Law and Order: SVU" (which is clearly an informative show that doesn't feed on people's fears and fascination with violence).
In other news, the Protagitron shared this with me a while back, and if you are at all even a little bit of an SVU fan, you will appreciate this:
http://www.brandonbird.com/stories.html
I think I will now go eat some cookies and watch "The Office" on DVD. Maybe if I watch a disc I've seen a lot, it will bore me so much I will fall asleep. That's really my best bet at this point. Oh boy is tomorrow going to be fun. Can you say, "Coffee!"?
It has been a while now, but I am finally starting to feel like my happy, enthusiastic self again. I can sing in the shower, dance in the kitchen while cooking, and I don't even terribly mind doing the dishes after cooking. Granted, I miss having someone to cook for that did most of the dishes for me, but I am perfectly capable of doing the dishes myself. Am I perfectly capable of eating all the food I cook? Well, no, but that is a different matter. It seems I never learned to cook for one. In fact, it appears I don't know how to cook for two or three either. I just keep on cooking like I have an army to feed, when in fact it is just me. Squeaky prefers her cat food, which is good because it is probably healthier for a cat to eat cat food than chicken Tiki Marsala or baked pasta.
Now as you may or may not know, I enjoy watching "Law and Order: SVU". The Protagitron (http://protagitron.blogspot.com/) and I have spent many a weeknight watching Benson and Stabler solve crimes. We also took the "Law and Order: SVU" life lessons to heart. We know that this is not only an entertaining and completely accurate depiction of the justice system, but a warning of sorts to all us single women. In fact, I was just talking with Ashley, a colleague, about this the other day.
You see, if I have learned anything from "Law and Order: SVU" (SVU stands for Special Victims Unit, in case you didn't know), it is that any single woman living alone in any city is going to be attacked or at least targeted by a serial rapist/killer/stalker/animal rights activist. It seems that the chances of this go up dramatically if the single woman also works long hours. If you give the single woman working long hours a pet cat, well, an attack is inevitable. Now let's do the math. I am single in a city. I work ridiculously long hours. I have a cat that I treat as if she were a person. This puts me a bit ahead of Ashley who doesn't have a cat.
I wonder if the new "Law and Order: Los Vegas" or whatever it is has any important life lessons to learn? They would of course need to be relevant to my life, such as those presented in "Law and Order: SVU" (which is clearly an informative show that doesn't feed on people's fears and fascination with violence).
In other news, the Protagitron shared this with me a while back, and if you are at all even a little bit of an SVU fan, you will appreciate this:
http://www.brandonbird.com/stories.html
I think I will now go eat some cookies and watch "The Office" on DVD. Maybe if I watch a disc I've seen a lot, it will bore me so much I will fall asleep. That's really my best bet at this point. Oh boy is tomorrow going to be fun. Can you say, "Coffee!"?
Sunday, November 21, 2010
First Date Adventure
I went on a first date last night with another elementary school teacher from the area. We went to the art center, walked around the game store and Barnes and Noble, got a coffee from Starbucks, and just chatted. I had a really good time, and I really like him.
Upsides to the date:
-He was cute.
-We had lots to talk about.
-There was a fair amount of laughing.
-The art center was pretty cool, although some of the art was confusing. There was a pretty cool exhibit inspired by Versailles and Marie Antionette that I really enjoyed. There was also a very interesting piece by this guy who is on a quest to take down the corporate wizard. I need to do some more research on that guy.
Downsides:
-We didn't eat. He asked at 5pm if I was hungry, and I wasn't, but after walking around for a while, I was ready to eat. When I brought it up again, he said he wasn't hungry. We never had dinner. Those of you that know me know that that is bad. I need to eat, or I go a little crazy.
-At the end of the date he said he needed to "process" the date and he'd talk to me later. What is that? What is "process"? Did I read him wrong? Was I having all the fun?
So this is the third first date I've been on in the last couple of months, and this is the only one I really, truly felt like I clicked with the person. But what on Earth does that mean that he needs to "process the date"? Linnea has a theory that either he panicked at the end of the date and said the first thing that came to mind in case I wasn't interested in going out again. Her other theory is that he is a jerk or a tool. At this point, I suppose both are possible. We'll have to wait and see which of her theories are true. Of course there is the possibility we may never know! And I thought we were getting along rather well!
This dating thing is hard!
Upsides to the date:
-He was cute.
-We had lots to talk about.
-There was a fair amount of laughing.
-The art center was pretty cool, although some of the art was confusing. There was a pretty cool exhibit inspired by Versailles and Marie Antionette that I really enjoyed. There was also a very interesting piece by this guy who is on a quest to take down the corporate wizard. I need to do some more research on that guy.
Downsides:
-We didn't eat. He asked at 5pm if I was hungry, and I wasn't, but after walking around for a while, I was ready to eat. When I brought it up again, he said he wasn't hungry. We never had dinner. Those of you that know me know that that is bad. I need to eat, or I go a little crazy.
-At the end of the date he said he needed to "process" the date and he'd talk to me later. What is that? What is "process"? Did I read him wrong? Was I having all the fun?
So this is the third first date I've been on in the last couple of months, and this is the only one I really, truly felt like I clicked with the person. But what on Earth does that mean that he needs to "process the date"? Linnea has a theory that either he panicked at the end of the date and said the first thing that came to mind in case I wasn't interested in going out again. Her other theory is that he is a jerk or a tool. At this point, I suppose both are possible. We'll have to wait and see which of her theories are true. Of course there is the possibility we may never know! And I thought we were getting along rather well!
This dating thing is hard!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Band-Aid Blitz
I finally started shaving my legs last night in the shower. I don't think I have shaved since September. To be honest, there has really been no need. Once it started cooling down, I started wearing pants or legging under skirts and dresses, and no one ever sees my legs.
Anyway, now that you are slightly grossed out, I will get to my point. I discovered that my legs are all bruised! At first I was surprised, but then I thought about my daily activities. I am by no means graceful. I walk into desks, walls, other people, coat racks, and chairs. The other day I smacked the back of my head on a brick wall while talking to a student. I tripped over my own desk chair while sharpening a pencil. I walked into an open locker door, then stepped on a student. Then while standing precariously on some school furniture, I slipped while trying to staple student work to the wall and banged my arm into a strip of cork. This all happened in one day, and that was only what I could remember.
Today, while trying to hang up a schedule for my fifth graders, I slipped and got a huge paper cut all down one side of my hand. I am running out of band-aids in my desk drawer.
So this evening when I went grocery shopping at Target, I stocked up on band-aids - 4 boxes of varying sizes and designs. I got the fabric kind so they don't give me a rash. I even got little camoflauge ones for tiny paper cuts. I got neosporin, peroxide, and rubbing alcohol. Then I bought some ice cream.
Between that and my insurance, I should be ok for about a month.
Anyway, now that you are slightly grossed out, I will get to my point. I discovered that my legs are all bruised! At first I was surprised, but then I thought about my daily activities. I am by no means graceful. I walk into desks, walls, other people, coat racks, and chairs. The other day I smacked the back of my head on a brick wall while talking to a student. I tripped over my own desk chair while sharpening a pencil. I walked into an open locker door, then stepped on a student. Then while standing precariously on some school furniture, I slipped while trying to staple student work to the wall and banged my arm into a strip of cork. This all happened in one day, and that was only what I could remember.
Today, while trying to hang up a schedule for my fifth graders, I slipped and got a huge paper cut all down one side of my hand. I am running out of band-aids in my desk drawer.
So this evening when I went grocery shopping at Target, I stocked up on band-aids - 4 boxes of varying sizes and designs. I got the fabric kind so they don't give me a rash. I even got little camoflauge ones for tiny paper cuts. I got neosporin, peroxide, and rubbing alcohol. Then I bought some ice cream.
Between that and my insurance, I should be ok for about a month.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Best Part of Waking Up: Housewives Who Can't Even Make Coffee!
This is one of my favorite commercials of all time. It is a Folger's coffee commercial featuring Harvey, the unappreciative and jerky husband who is probably doing more than drinking coffee with the girls at the office, Harvey's wife, who is so bad at making coffee she doesn't deserve a kiss goodbye, or even a name for that matter, and Harvey's wife's friend who has been using some of mother's little helpers.
Luckily for me, there are several of these delightful commercials in existence. Another one of my favorites is the following:
I felt like I was watching an episode of "Law and Order"! She was trying to kill her husband - and the petunias - with non-delicious coffee! Dundun! Dadadada-DA! (That was the "Law and Order" theme music.) You can tell the grocery store owner knows this particular woman is simple in the head by the technique he used to sell her the coffee. He told her it was grown in the mountains, and made a mountain with his arms. Please not that not only did she buy the coffee, but she repeated the action that night while feeding her husband the coffee that finally tasted just fine, but was actually poisoned because she had had enough of his crap. Don't like your coffee? Make it yourself!
Luckily for me, there are several of these delightful commercials in existence. Another one of my favorites is the following:
I felt like I was watching an episode of "Law and Order"! She was trying to kill her husband - and the petunias - with non-delicious coffee! Dundun! Dadadada-DA! (That was the "Law and Order" theme music.) You can tell the grocery store owner knows this particular woman is simple in the head by the technique he used to sell her the coffee. He told her it was grown in the mountains, and made a mountain with his arms. Please not that not only did she buy the coffee, but she repeated the action that night while feeding her husband the coffee that finally tasted just fine, but was actually poisoned because she had had enough of his crap. Don't like your coffee? Make it yourself!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The First Visit of Phil the Nurse
A nurse who works at the Mayo and is attending Winona State has to do a "community project". He wanted to do a lesson with first graders about washing their hands, but none of the mainstream first grade teachers would make time for him. He needed one hour.
So naturally, as the ESOL teacher, I offered him my students. It was quite recently that I was scrambling around, begging teachers to allow me to come into their class and have 30-45 minutes of their time. The only issue is that instead of one class for one hour, he has three classes and really only has three 20 minute chunks of instructional time.
My friend, Phil the Nurse, came to observe me today. Of course it was a bit of a crazy day since I was doing stations so I can get them exposure to their sight words and get some small group time with students. I didn't know how Phil the Nurse would handle the chaos of first grade stations, or how much he would judge me for singing and dancing and making overly dramatic facial expressions. It was amazing, though, because he got right in there! He did the morning greeting and "boogied down"! He participated in "Baby Shark" and "Tony Chestnut"! He even participated in stations with kids and made sight words out of play-doh!
What are the chances he wants to come be my permanent volunteer para? I could really use the extra set of hands! And he's a nurse! And he's going to teach them how to wash their hands! They need to learn more of those things! Future lessons might (and should) include:
* Not licking pencils
* Don't wipe your boogers on your friends
* Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough
* REMEMBER to wash your hands
* Keep your shirt and shoes on at school
And that's just the beginning!
So naturally, as the ESOL teacher, I offered him my students. It was quite recently that I was scrambling around, begging teachers to allow me to come into their class and have 30-45 minutes of their time. The only issue is that instead of one class for one hour, he has three classes and really only has three 20 minute chunks of instructional time.
My friend, Phil the Nurse, came to observe me today. Of course it was a bit of a crazy day since I was doing stations so I can get them exposure to their sight words and get some small group time with students. I didn't know how Phil the Nurse would handle the chaos of first grade stations, or how much he would judge me for singing and dancing and making overly dramatic facial expressions. It was amazing, though, because he got right in there! He did the morning greeting and "boogied down"! He participated in "Baby Shark" and "Tony Chestnut"! He even participated in stations with kids and made sight words out of play-doh!
What are the chances he wants to come be my permanent volunteer para? I could really use the extra set of hands! And he's a nurse! And he's going to teach them how to wash their hands! They need to learn more of those things! Future lessons might (and should) include:
* Not licking pencils
* Don't wipe your boogers on your friends
* Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough
* REMEMBER to wash your hands
* Keep your shirt and shoes on at school
And that's just the beginning!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Candy Portraiture = Confusion
While doing some very important research for some very important upcoming events, I came across this "craft":
http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/2010/11/how-to_preserve_a_candy_portra.html
I can't even read how to do the craft because I cannot begin to fathom why you would take perfectly good candy and glue it into a picture. Then you DON'T eat it. And in the introduction to this craft it says, "and now you have a big bag or two of candy that you don't really want to eat." WHA-AT? Who has bags of candy that they don't want to eat? Seriously! What kind of world are we living in?
Of course this is written by the woman who once ate a jelly bean out of her sheets even though she couldn't remember the last time she had jelly beans. And yesterday I found a lonely Swedish fish under the coffee table, and I ate him, too.
Please feel free to send any of that "unwanted" peanut free candy my way. I'll take care of it for you.
http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/2010/11/how-to_preserve_a_candy_portra.html
I can't even read how to do the craft because I cannot begin to fathom why you would take perfectly good candy and glue it into a picture. Then you DON'T eat it. And in the introduction to this craft it says, "and now you have a big bag or two of candy that you don't really want to eat." WHA-AT? Who has bags of candy that they don't want to eat? Seriously! What kind of world are we living in?
Of course this is written by the woman who once ate a jelly bean out of her sheets even though she couldn't remember the last time she had jelly beans. And yesterday I found a lonely Swedish fish under the coffee table, and I ate him, too.
Please feel free to send any of that "unwanted" peanut free candy my way. I'll take care of it for you.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Adventures in a New City
A few evenings back, my new friend, whose name is also Ivy, and I went for a spur of the moment walk down the Zumbro River and around Silver Lake. It was beautiful.
Below are some of the things we saw/participated in:
• Skate park where someone was shot
• Accessible playground
• Jaywalking
• Picking flowers
• Crossing bridges
• Walking through construction site
• To see paddle boats
• Large bridge with sketchy man on bike with shovel and tarp climbing on bridge
• tea
The man on the bridge was pretty sketchy. He had a tarp and everything. I'm not sure what he threw in the river. As for the construction site, we were trying to walk around Silver Lake, but ended up somehow in a closed off section where it looked like they might be doing some construction. We're not sure how we got in there.
It is nice to have a friend who has the same knack for getting into trouble as I do.
Below are some of the things we saw/participated in:
• Skate park where someone was shot
• Accessible playground
• Jaywalking
• Picking flowers
• Crossing bridges
• Walking through construction site
• To see paddle boats
• Large bridge with sketchy man on bike with shovel and tarp climbing on bridge
• tea
The man on the bridge was pretty sketchy. He had a tarp and everything. I'm not sure what he threw in the river. As for the construction site, we were trying to walk around Silver Lake, but ended up somehow in a closed off section where it looked like they might be doing some construction. We're not sure how we got in there.
It is nice to have a friend who has the same knack for getting into trouble as I do.
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