Inspiration From Bad Music

On Saturday, I read some columns from a Dave Barry book at my folks' house. I'd kind of been working on some crossword puzzles and reading a little bit of Sex With Kings, which sounds like a great book, and should be a great book, but the style is not for me. In my opinion, it is not written or organized well. And so, I also picked up Dave Barry is NOT Making This Up! which is a collection of some of his articles.

One of the last articles I read was the one on Mr. Barry's bad music survey. It was laugh-out-loud funny, which was actually kind of awkward. You see, we were sitting at the counter drinking tea and eating scones. My mother was sitting on my right completely engrossed in The Help, and Mr. Sturm was reading (at my insistence) Sense and Sensibility. There I was laughing out loud and reading Dave Barry. I stand by my choice.

Then, a little more than twenty four hours after reading those articles, I attended the Uriah Heep concert on the river here in Rochester. My colleague, Cadi, was there with her new roommate and her boyfriend, and my friend Derek came down with some of his Morris people. Friends, let me tell you, Uriah Heep is not a fantastic band. I spent a lot of the concert either confused by songs such as what is either called "Dream on, Steven", "McGee Gets Even!", or "Rainbow Demon". The rest of the concert I spent laughing out loud and singing along to such classics as "Hit The Nail Right on the Head". Go listen to it.

What does he want you to do? He wants you to hit the nail right on the head. Over and over again! To be honest, I don't think the lead singer was lucid enough to remember the lyrics to the verses, so we pretty much only heard the chorus for about 20 minutes, which is a long time to hear that sentence. Derek and I have a great idea for his next album. Please see the possible track list below and imagine how the song would go based on what you just heard.


Uriah Heep's Household Tasks Album!

1. Wash the Soap Right Off the Plate
2. Turn that Vacuum On
3. Lather, Rinse, Repeat
4. Stir The Cream of Wheat

And that's really all that is going to fit on the album since, from what I gathered from the concert last night, all Uriah Heep songs are at between 20 minutes and an eternity long.

Anyway, Uriah Heep and Dave Barry got me thinking about bad songs and bad lyrics. There are a lot of bad songs out there, and there are some perfectly decent songs musically that have horrid lyrics. What I would like is for you to think about the worst overall song as well as what song has the worst lyrics. They could be the same song, even, if you would like. Just post as comments so that I can keep track all in one place.

It would be lovely if you could leave your post using the following template, please:

Worst Overall Song:

Reasoning:

Worst Lyrics:

Sample: