Results of the "How You Keep Your Brain Young" Survey

As a person who is getting crazier every day and may or may not be developing adult onset ADD, I think losing my mind is probably going to happen in the near future. However, volunteering with older folks with Alzheimer's and dementia has made me think that maybe if I "exercise my brain" I can stave off the inevitable for a few extra years (weeks? days? hours?). I love doing crossword puzzles and any sort of game that involves word-play. I have even been trying to learn jazz music to make my brain do math without thinking that it is doing math.

So I asked you, friends and strangers, to tell me your favorite way to "exercise your brain".

Which type of "brain exercise" do you prefer?

Crossword Puzzles	(14%)
Sudoku	(28%)
Jigsaw Puzzles	(0%)
Jumbles	(0%)
I prefer to sit and stare at the wall, slowly allowing my brain to turn to mush.	(28%)
None of the above	(28%)

I am not terribly surprised that just as many of you enjoy sudoku as like to sit and stare at the wall, allowing your brain to slowly turn to mush. Interestingly, the same number chose "none of the above". What does that mean? What do you do? How are you keeping your brain young?

I already told you what I do. It doesn't seem to be working, though. I am constantly walking into rooms and forgetting why I went in there. I can't figure out why everything is blurry if I don't put my glasses on right away in the morning. Most alarmingly, however, I find myself muttering under my breath about teenagers. What are those kids doing, out at the mall at 8pm on a Wednesday night? Damn kids! Riding their skateboards down the side of the highway! Why are they blocking the entire sidewalk? Why?

But my growing sentiments of frustration towards teenagers aside, I think my brain works pretty well. I haven't done any irreparable damage to myself yet.

Speaking of irreparable damage, next Thursday I have a four hour (Yes! That is 4 hour!) appointment at the Mayo Clinic. Hopefully some of the best doctors in the world can help me get this breathing thing under control. When the woman on the phone asked me if my appointment had to do with some sort of work environment or injury thing, I responded, "Nope. This is just the way I am." And she laughed. Nothing funnier than making a joke out of something not funny at all.

I have to go. A bunch of cars are sitting outside my apartment honking at each other. I bet the cars are full of teenagers! Humph!

On The Road to Spinsterhood

It may be a not-so-winding road, or perhaps more of a slippery slope, but irregardless of the analogy you prefer, all evidence points to me being well on the way to spinsterhood.

Very Scientific and Accurate Definition of "Spinsterhood":
A woman who has remained single long beyond the conventional age of marriage who perhaps also holds the occupation of spinning. She probably knits, has at least one cat she treats as her child, prefers to do lame activities, drinks tea, and certainly does not go out carousing on the weekends.

Based on this definition that I half made up based on mostly out-dated stereotypes observed in the media, I am well on my way. I try to knit. I have a cat who thinks she is a person, probably because I usually treat her as if she is a person. I prefer drinking tea and participating in "lame" activities such as playing board games, doing crossword puzzles, reading texts related to my job, and going to movies by myself. I am also of the opinion that going out to bars or dancing in public while scantily clad is not all it is cracked up to be.

Yesterday was Friday. I went in to work early to do some paperwork and cleaning. I stayed late at work to volunteer at the winter carnival at our school. I was gone from 7:25 am until a little after 9pm, and it crossed my mind more than once that my cat, Squeaky, was going to be annoyed and give me an earful upon my return home. She does not like when I am completely absent for such long periods of time without coming home and checking on her.

Once I got home, I immediately put on my pajamas, made tea, and settled down on the couch with pillows and several blankets to watch sub-par television. I'll admit I watched edited for regular TV episodes of "Sex and the City". Then I fell asleep early on the couch with my cat in my lap and had to drag my half-asleep self to my bed. That was how I spent my Friday night.

Today is Saturday. I spent the morning making myself a breakfast of a mocha, a pain au chocolat, and some cereal, and I ate it on my real dishes that even match. Following my breakfast, I putzed around the house for a bit, straightening up, folding laundry, making the bed with clean sheets, etc. Then I took a long, hot shower and vacuumed, fluffed couch cushions, and did dishes while my hair dried.

Don't worry. I did leave the house, today. I went to a movie all by myself. I went to the matinee of "Unknown" and had popcorn and pop, because why not live it up, right? The theatre was pretty packed with me, many middle-aged couples, and right before the show, two relatively attractive guys about my age sat one seat away from me. Choosing to ignore their presence, once the show began I ate popcorn like no one was watching. As the Protagitron knows, this means I ended up with about equal parts in my mouth and down my shirt. I am exaggerating a bit, but not much.

After the movie, I went in to work for a while and sat in the computer lab listening to my ipod, doing research on practice TEAE tests and ordering my copies for next week. Now it is Saturday evening, I have no plans or intentions to go out on the town or even meet up with people. In fact, I am looking forward to making Indian food and watching a movie by myself.

It won't be long, folks, before I look like this:

Does anyone know where I can get a reasonably priced rocking chair and a chain like that for my glasses?

I've got a case of the Old-Timer's disease.

Alright. It is official. I am old. This is unfortunate because I am chronologically, age-wise, not that old. The number that represents my age is not that big, and the year of my birth was not that long ago, and yet I am old.

The other day I was sitting at home alone, enjoying the lights on the Christmas tree. I had a crocheted blanket in my lap, with a cat on top. The cat was keeping me nice and warm and I sipped my tea with honey and worked on a knitting project. This is because I am an old lady.

Yesterday I curled up on the couch with a good crossword puzzle, my cat, and a cup of tea. Sometimes I talk to myself or the cat. And I felt a strong sense of accomplishment when I finished that New York Times crossword puzzle. I really crushed that one!

Do you know why my cat thinks she is a person? It is because I talk to her like she is one. I am pretty convinced that Squeaky can understand what I am saying, and what is more, I am pretty convinced I can tell what she is saying every once and a while. Am I sounding more and more like an old lady to you?

People my age around here apparently hang out at sports bars. Bah! Those places are noisy and overstimulating! And I dress to practically to ever get hit on. If it is snowing, I wear my snow boots. If it is cold, I wear a winter jacket. Also, I wear a sweater or longsleeve shirt. I am not going to go around in the snow wearing high heeled sandals and a mini skirt with no tights! How am I sounding now?

Tonight I attended a live accordion performance. Granted, it is because I volunteer with some old people once a week, and the concert was for them, but I think I enjoyed it just as much as they did. I sang along with "Roll Out the Barrel" and "Bye, Bye Blackbird" (Yes! I know the words to those songs!). Usually I read to them, chat, and we do trivia, but this live accordion performance was a nice change of pace.

You can see why I am beginning to worry. Why do I have the behaviors of someone more than twice my age? I am nowhere near retirement!

Hold on. I have to go take care of something.....

"Damn kids! Get off my lawn!"

Luckily I am still young enough to think this is funny:










That never happened! I was not seduced by a french man!