Instant Mood Lifters

Lisa and I are currently having an instant message conversation about things that are instant mood lifters. After a bad day, it can sometimes be hard to get out of that funk. That's when you need a go-to list of things to do or look at that will immediately make you feel better and possibly eliminate all negative feelings all together

Below is the list that we have compiled.

1. Blowing bubbles
2. Hula hoops
3. Kittens (especially at the tiny, fluffy, itty-bitty stage)
4. Baby pandas Sneezing
5.  Decadent ice cream to replace a meal - This could be eating a pint of Brownie Batter ice cream for dinner or going out for an extravagant cheesecake and red velvet frozen yogurt sundae for lunch
6. Penguins getting tickled
7. Buying fresh flowers for yourself just because
8. A giant bowl of over-buttered popcorn
9. Laughing babies 
10. A nice, hot shower
11. A good night's sleep
12. Listening to a favorite song really loudly while dancing around like a maniac and singing along at the top of your lungs
13. A hug from a child who says "Thank you", "You're the best!", or "I love you!" 

Now certainly there are more things in life that have the power to make people happier right away. Also, people may have different instant mood lifters than me, I suppose. Perhaps laughing babies make me smile, but they simply infuriate you. Who knows? You do.

What instantly lifts your mood?

*Vote on the Disney Princess poll. Even if you are male, if you HAD to be a Disney Princess, which would you be?*

My Next Big Investment?

Are you sick and tired of normal toilets? Yeah. Me, too. If your current toilet only does standard toilet-y things, then your current toilet is not only sub-par, but lame.

Luckily, Kohler has created a new super-toilet that I'm sure will be in all American and Canadian homes by the end of this year. According to David Kohler, the company's president, "The luxury market's coming back in this country and (is) very strong in other parts of the world. This product is targeted at those consumers who want the best -- they want the latest in design and technology (and) want a fashion statement in their home." (USA Today) I couldn't agree more. As a United Statian (I'm convinced this will catch on.), I am always thinking about how the perfect way to integrate more technology and design into my home is to buy a really expensive toilet.

Oh, no - wait - that's not right. I have the bare minimum technology in my home, which is decorated primarily with used or clearance furniture as well as an eclectic variety of artwork, vases, trinkets from my travels, and books. While none of it goes together, I like to believe their is cohesiveness in the discontinuity of my decor. Also, I'm a renter, so the last thing I would think about spending money on is a luxury toilet.

Perhaps I am an American anomaly, however, and the rest of you are all lusting after fancy deluxe toilets. If that is the case, then you are going to be extremely excited by Kohler's Numi toilet.

As you can see from their website, the Numi toilet is an amazing piece of art with extraordinary features in design, comfort, and control. Not only does this toilet look really cool, but it has several, necessary technological features. Some of them actually seem like they would be pretty nice, such as the heated seat. The foot warmer also seems pretty nifty, although not really necessary. We have already invented socks, after all.

But while some features, such as the above mentioned, seem luxurious in a very reasonable way, the many other features of the Numi toilet verge on ridiculous. The toilet is covered in motion sensors, I guess, so that the lid raises and lowers as you go in and out of the bathroom. Even more sensors at the floor level have the toilet deciding for you if the seat should go up or down. I won't lie to you friends - If I walked into my bathroom more than half asleep at 3am, the whole movement of the lid going up and down might scare the living daylights out of me. It isn't just a little movement. Check it out.

Of course the advanced bidet functionality with integrated air dryer offers more than one setting. Not only can you choose the wand position, water temperature, and pressure, but you can choose between an oscillating, pulsating, or wave patterns. Naturally, the integrated air dryer provides more efficient drying. What did people do before integrated air dryers on their advanced bidet functionalities? That certainly could not have been efficient!

Another delightful feature of Kohler's Numi toilet are the illuminated panels on the side that supposedly create "a soft, inviting glow". My current toilet doesn't light up at all, let alone provide a "soft, inviting glow"!

Perhaps my favorite toilet feature of all time, however, is the music feature. The Numi has built in speakers, and not only can you choose to listen to pre-programmed audio, but you can scan through FM radio stations or the tracks on your mp3 player. How awesome is that? I wonder what kind of pre-programmed audio the Kohler folk chose to put on the Numi? Given its $6,300 USD price tag, I assume it is Handel's "Messiah", Beethoven's 9th Symphony, and various other grand musical compositions. For this price, an actual string quartet should come serenade the person.

I always thought that Japan was the country obsessed with oddly unnecessary technological advances in the field of toilets, but I guess I was wrong. Gone are the days where Japan leads the world in completely unnecessarily advanced toilets. The United States wants in on this crazy.

This young man has made a video of the toilet. I also learned from his blog that the touchscreen mini-pad can operate the toilet from up to twenty feet away. Unlike this man, however, I can understand why you would want to be able to control the toilet from twenty feet away. If a person spends all their money on a toilet, and that toilet has a built in radio/mp3 player, you have to be able to sit in the living room and continue enjoying the features of your ridiculously expensive toilet.

So even though I rent an apartment, I am a young, single teacher with student loans, I am currently scouring the job boards, and I have an uncertain economic future, I am still considering the Kohler Numi toilet as my next big investment.

That's a lie. No, I'm not. I am, however, seriously considering buying a pint of ice cream tomorrow.

How I'm Getting Weirder Every Day and Am No Longer Fit To Co-Habitate With Other Humans

Eventually I'd like to have a significant other that I return home to each night and wake up to each morning, but lately I've been thinking about living with another person. I have only lived completely on my own without my family or roommates for about eight months now, but I think it may be ruining me. I have reverted back to the ways of barbarians - or at best the ways of a crazy, socially inept person who is stuck in their ways and no one would ever want to live with. Perhaps I could be featured on some nature show where they do an in depth look at young single teachers who reside by themselves.

This whole train of thought was brought on by something I did last night. After returning from work last night, still in my mismatched, sweaty clothes from the epic tennis match hours before, my hair standing on end, and my eyes all squinty from working on a Sunday evening, I proceeded to jump around and sing a couple of songs while the water heated up for my shower. Not knowing the words, I mostly sang nonsense syllables. But this isn't the part about my behavior that worried me. After my shower, I sat on the couch in my pink elephant pajamas eating some Half-Baked Ben and Jerry's straight from the container when some fell on my pant leg, just above the knee. Determined not to waste the ice cream (with the secondary motive of not getting chocolate ice cream on the couch), I placed the container and spoon on the coffee table and tried to pick up the ice cream with my fingers. That, my friends, did not really work since the ice cream was melting too quickly. I then decided to lick it right off of my pants.

I am not the most flexible person, but I dare you to find someone who can easily lick chocolate ice cream off the part of their pants, let's say about a third of the way up the thigh. Even if they could do it, no one could look good doing it. So here I am, contorting myself into different positions in an attempt to lick chocolate ice cream off of my pajama pants. Mostly I wanted the ice cream in my mouth, but also, I didn't really want it on the couch, and I wanted to minimize the damage on the pajamas. After several failed attempts, I decided to start slowly removing my pants - just enough to give me a little more give in the fabric and also to lower the piece of melty ice cream closer to my knee so I could more easily bend and get it.

Eventually, I succeeded.

But my success got me to thinking. Would such behavior be appropriate if I lived with another human, and not just an overly opinionated feline that believes she is a human? If I had a roommate, what would she think if she had come home to see me on the couch with my butt hanging out, licking my pants? Something about it seems socially unacceptable. I think I learned once that it is frowned upon to lick your pants in public. Or maybe it was that you should never partially remove your pants in order to lick off melted ice cream? I really can't remember.

And so, if any of you have ever, will ever, or have ever considered living with me, I have compiled a Top Ten list of reasons I am not fit to co-habitate with other human beings.

1. When I eat, the food doesn't always end up in my mouth. This leads to incidences like the one describe above. Or it could just lead to me walking around with crumbs in my scarf or a soup stain on my collar.
2. I do weird things. Again, I'll bring up the incident described in detail. Also, I may or may not sometimes use a Dirty Dancing workout video, make hilarious attempts at doing push ups or other upper-body exercises, or just do clumsy things like walk into walls, slam my fingers in the cupboard door, trip over my own feet, fall off the couch, etc. Sometimes I find things like a jelly bean in the sheets or a piece of popcorn under the couch. Should I throw that away? Probably. And I would if there were another person there to judge me. However, since I live alone, I eat it. Usually I don't regret it either.
3. I hit the snooze button more than once. I set it for impossibly short amounts of minutes, but insist on hitting it repeatedly, rather than just hit it once and have it set for the number of minutes I know I want to stay laying in bed.
4. I use all of the mugs. I own a ridiculous amount of mugs for one person. Naturally, I have a set of four matching ones for when company come over, but beyond that, I probably have another eight or so. I don't know. I've never counted. The point is, there are enough mugs to go around, and yet most of them seem to be dirty most of the time. I drink a lot of tea, but I also reuse mugs fairly often, so I'm not sure how this happens. It must be a magic trick I can do. It isn't the best magic trick, but whatever.
5. I sing and talk to myself often, and it usually doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I tell myself things, talk to inanimate objects around the house, and sing really loudly. Sometimes, like Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother" I just sing strings of nonsense words. Sometimes I sing strings of nonesense syllables. I don't know what to tell you. I have a degree in linguistics and make a living teaching language, and yet on my own I revert to gibberish.
6. I make a lot of sound effects. Upsetting email demanding more paperwork be done - BAH! Not the food I want in the kitchen - RAWR! Computer going too slow - UUUUUUUGH! Walk into a wall or door - GROMP!
7. I walk around in various states of undress. There's no one here. And I am pretty good about remembering to close the blinds. It doesn't really help that I keep things like underwear, socks, tights, pajamas, and undershirts in the bathroom, but everything else in the bedroom. Still, I may start getting dressed in the morning, but give up partway through because I need my cup of tea immediately. I might come home where it is too early to take a shower and put my pajamas on, but too late to justify changing my clothes. Who wants to take out jeans and a sweatshirt, put them on, get them dirty, only to take them off again almost immediately? On the other hand, I don't want to do dishes in my dress clothes, and it is difficult to get comfy on the couch in work clothes. I could get spaghetti sauce on my dress or cat hair on my pants. So some nights I might walk around for an hour or so in tights and my bra. What? No one else except Squeaky lives here. It's not like the cat wears clothes!
8. I have too many shoes. Seriously. I have a lot of shoes. Where would the other person put their shoes? There's no room!
9. I play the same song on the piano or my ipod over and over and over again. While I like this, another person my find my compulsiveness annoying. I try to only play the piano or listen to my music loudly if I know Downstairs Neighbor is not home.
10. I fold my laundry and leave it on the arm chair for days. Where would anyone else sit? I have basically taken over the entire couch. Just because I usually sit curled up in one corner doesn't mean I don't need the whole thing. Every once and a while I need to sprawl out. But if my laundry is on the chair, my roommate would have to sit.....on the floor? On my laundry? On the piano bench?

As you can see, there may be some issues should I ever live with a roommate again or move in with a significant other. With any luck they'll be just as weird as me so they can't judge. On the other hand, do I really want to live with someone like me? Meh. I'm an acquired taste, but I'm not that bad, right?

When I ate ice cream earlier today, I didn't spill any on my tights, so the incident from last night has not yet been repeated.

Even More Weekend Headlines

Horrible Work Day Prompts Human Resident to Drive Up to The Cities

Ice Cream and Half Price Appetizers Enjoyed
Friends Caught Up With

Family Trip to Cabin
Enjoyable and Restful Time Had by All

Second "Percy Jackson Book" Finished
Pretty Good for a Kid's Book

Epic Tennis Match!
McDougalhopper Loses to Martin 

Residents Re-United After Whole Weekend Apart
Squeaky Tells Her Side 

Sunday Night Work
Sub Plans Completed and Set Out 

Slothful Sunday Evening
Shower, Ice Cream, and Laying on Couch Only the Beginning

Residents Prepare for Storm
Rain Boots Dug Out of Closet

Living It Up Young-People Style

Let me tell you, folks, I have been living it up young-people style!

Over the weekend, several of us went out to the Shout House and saw the dueling pianos. It was amazing! How do the pianists know all the songs? It is one thing to be able to play all the songs by ear and make it work, but they knew all the lyrics, too! How can that be? Incredible!

I should mention that before hand, we went to Pardon My French in Eagan, and that was absolutely delicious, as usual. Towards the end of our time at the Shout House, I was starting to get hungry again. As you may know, I need to eat a little bit every couple of hours. Luckily, Paula is the same way. After a brief discussion (for us anyway - we're terrible at making decisions!), we packed up and headed to Perkins. There, I devoured and enjoyed a short stack and a side of bacon. The most important part is the bacon.

Tonight was my first night of "Booty Burning Bootcamp". My colleague with the classroom next door knows that I am always up for an adventure and have a love for community education, and we decided to take a class together. The original plan was a cooking course, but there was nothing available that we both enjoyed/could eat without dying. So, I let her pick whichever other course she wanted, and we're in the "Booty Burning Bootcamp". 

And let me tell you - my booty is getting burned! Tomorrow I will be hobbling around, barely able to lift my arms high enough to use the key to get into the classroom. Although the stairs going down to get out of the apartment may actually pose the biggest threat.

Now, after dinner, I am munching on pizza rolls and considering a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. How old do I think I am?

*Now vote on the cake poll! Who doesn't like cake?*

Things I Love*

I love...

• Popcorn with extra butter and salt
• I am talking about popcorn you make in the air popper, then pour real melted butter over. Right now, I really enjoy putting the salt on the popcorn, because my salt shaker is a little yellow bear, and that makes me smile. Popcorn is so ridiculously delicious. Sometimes I have a large mixing bowl full of popcorn for dinner. While I prefer the air-popped popcorn smothered in butter, I occasionally enjoy the microwave variety, and it is practically impossible to see a movie sans-popcorn!
• Tea
• Earl Grey, Lady Grey, Mint, Orange Pekoe, Green, White, Darjeeling, Chamomile, they are all wonderful. This year, I have really been experimenting will loose teas, and I believe there are about five varieties of loose tea on my shelf right now. Tea is good in the morning, afternoon, or nighttime. Tea is just amazing. If  you don't drink tea, you should start immediately! I think I drink about 3-6 cups of tea per day.
• Playing with Squeaky
• My cat is awesome. She is 16 years old and still loves to play and run around. She also has the most attitude I have ever seen in a cat, and she things she is a person. Squeaky will try to hold a conversation with anyone who comes into our home, and I think she can understand what we're saying, because if someone makes fun of her, she glares at them for a while. Tonight I got her a new tunnel to play in and a new feathery toy on a stick. She enjoys them both.
• My Friends
• I am pretty sure I have some of the best, most amazing, talented, hilarious,unique, intelligent, kind, generous, down-right fantastic friends in all of the world. I love them all.
• Ice Cream for Breakfast
• I prefer to eat it with a spoon right out of the container while checking my email and sitting on the couch. There is nothing like a little chocolate chip cookie dough or mint chocolate chip ice cream to start your day off right.
• My Family
• My family, while absolutely crazy, is a great bunch of people. Good job, guys!
• Singing Aloud Really Loudly in the Car
• Especially now that I am listening to my ipod in the car, this has become a once again frequent activity. Songs that are super-fun to sing along with include, but are certainly not limited to: "I Can't Get No Satisfaction", "The Little Things You Do", "Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side",  "Jessie's Girl", "Resistensen", and "Someday" (Leo Laleo).
• Dancing Like a Maniac
• I'm a maniac! MANIAC on the floor! And I'm dancing like I've never danced before! This can be done in the car, in the kitchen while cooking, in the living room, while cleaning, before bed, or in the classroom. Usually I try to refrain in more public places - such as the grocery store - where such activities are generally frowned upon and may cause security to come have a chat with you.
• Mittens
• If you don't agree that mittens are amazing, then I don't know that I can trust your opinion on anything. They are so fun! And they come in so many colors and designs and fabrics! Plus they keep your hands, fingers, and wrists toasty warm through the 132,004 days of Minnesota Winter!
• When the Leaves Change Colors in the Fall
• Autumn foliage can be breathtakingly beautiful, especially if admired while on the water. Plus I just enjoy the smell, feeling, and temperature of fall.
• Playing the Piano
• This is one of my favorite de-stressing activities at the end of the day.
• My Job
• While incredibly stressful, and I am overworked, under-payed,  unappreciated, and quite often thrown under the bus or verbally abused by children, I love my job. I love working with my students, even if they are hooligans! They are my hooligans! We sing songs, read books, dance, discuss, practice our pronunciation, and talk about our cultures. They make me life and teach me so much! I can't imagine doing anything else with my life!
• When Squeaky Curls up and Snuggles Me
• She always prefers to curl up and sleep near my knees. I appreciate this, and I like knowing she is there. In her older age, she stay longer with me, and doesn't get so upset when I move around in the night.
• Crossword Puzzles
• I like to think that this will help me prevent or delay Alzheimer's or make me smarter or something.  While not particularly good at the New York Times Crossword Puzzles, I have a book of them in every room in the house, almost, and one in my car. It is a good way to spend the time with a cup of tea and a cat.
• Going to See Any Kind of Live Performance
• It can be a play, opera, orchestra concert, musical, a magic show, Rick Springfield concert, a couple of banjos - it doesn't matter. I will probably enjoy it.
• Playing Board Games - Especially ones that have to do with words or words play
• Maybe I am super lame, but I love playing board games! My favorites are of course games like Bananagrams, Boggle, or anything that allows me to manipulate words and letters, however I enjoy strategy games such as Othello as well or games that encourage social interaction, such as Curses, Imaginiff, Pictophone, or Fact or Crap.
• Going to the Cabin
• The cabin is a wonderful place. Ideally I would like to have a home in the woods on the water someday. 
• Reading Signs Out Loud
• This is just really fun. When I am in the car alone, I love reading signs aloud. "WANA - mingoooooo!" "Super Soup This Way!" "Demolition Landfill" "We Do Cows!" "Karaoke every Tuesday at 7pm". The sign doesn't always have to be particularly interesting or shocking, but I really enjoy reading them out loud. Sometimes I even do it when I am in the car or walking with someone else. Occasionally I will even stop mid-sentence or interrupt a friend to read a sign out loud. This odd - but I hope charmingly quirky - habit might be contagious, because I have caught some of my friends doing it more recently as well.

*A small sampling of the list in no particular order

Now quick! Take the grocery store survey!

REAL Adults Eat Popcorn for Dinner

Now that the month of January is nearly over, I hear many other adults asking how they have been faring on their New Year's Resolutions. Not having officially made any, it got me thinking. These people have adult resolutions. I work with them, and my age indicates that I am an adult. But am I really?

Let's examine the evidence:

 

I am an adult.

I am not an adult.

·         I go grocery shopping and buy healthy food such as apples, spinach, cheese, and zucchini. ·         I buy (and even ingest) things like Greek Yogurt. ·         I have a full time job with benefits. ·         I drive a car. ·         I have bills, and I pay them (on time!) ·         I can go out to a movie on a Monday night. ·         I can cook, and do so fairly regularly. ·         I own a set of china. ·         I live in a big person apartment all by myself. I even have an “office”. ·         I saw “The King’s Speech” and enjoyed it. ·         Squeaky is a very healthy example of my ability to take care of another living thing. ·         Usually, I eat pretty healthy and consume fruit, vegetables, dairy, and protein on a regular basis.

·         I impulse buy at the grocery store like crazy and usually end up leaving with something like Hostess cupcakes, Peanuts fruit snacks, or Pizza rolls ·         I cannot eat the Greek yogurt unless the texture is completely disguised by copious amounts of granola and fruit. ·         Part of my full time job includes singing silly songs and drawing with crayons. ·         My car is yellow and full of things like pictures done with crayons and other art projects. ·         I like to seal the letter and envelope to my landlord with a Disney sticker every month. ·         And I DO go out to a movie on a Monday night…. ·         But I let the dishes sit in the sink longer than I should. ·         The china was given to me by an older friend who wanted to help me settle into my apartment. She asked what I needed, and I said “cereal bowls”. ·         Sometimes I use my office to draw pictures for school. ·         I also saw “Kung Fu Panda” and loved it. ·         The plants in my kitchen window are awfully sad looking, but I persist in watering them. ·         Sometimes I have popcorn for dinner, ice cream for breakfast, or eat a container of frosting over a less than four day period.

What do you think? Am I an adult? Or am I just an aging child?