Whomp Whomp

As an adult who pays bills and lives alone, I am allowed to have popcorn for second dinner. Sometimes I even have popcorn for first dinner. And this is alright because I am a full-blown, bill paying, taxes paying, member of society, adult.

Tonight I decided I wanted popcorn for second dinner, so I put the butter in the microwave and set up the popcorn popper. After the first few kernels popped into the bowl, I deemed the entire situation safe, and went to go catch the television show I was watching. Once the popcorn popping sound had ceased, I returned to the kitchen.

This is what I found:

Whomp Whomp.

REAL Adults Eat Popcorn for Dinner

Now that the month of January is nearly over, I hear many other adults asking how they have been faring on their New Year's Resolutions. Not having officially made any, it got me thinking. These people have adult resolutions. I work with them, and my age indicates that I am an adult. But am I really?

Let's examine the evidence:

 

I am an adult.

I am not an adult.

·         I go grocery shopping and buy healthy food such as apples, spinach, cheese, and zucchini. ·         I buy (and even ingest) things like Greek Yogurt. ·         I have a full time job with benefits. ·         I drive a car. ·         I have bills, and I pay them (on time!) ·         I can go out to a movie on a Monday night. ·         I can cook, and do so fairly regularly. ·         I own a set of china. ·         I live in a big person apartment all by myself. I even have an “office”. ·         I saw “The King’s Speech” and enjoyed it. ·         Squeaky is a very healthy example of my ability to take care of another living thing. ·         Usually, I eat pretty healthy and consume fruit, vegetables, dairy, and protein on a regular basis.

·         I impulse buy at the grocery store like crazy and usually end up leaving with something like Hostess cupcakes, Peanuts fruit snacks, or Pizza rolls ·         I cannot eat the Greek yogurt unless the texture is completely disguised by copious amounts of granola and fruit. ·         Part of my full time job includes singing silly songs and drawing with crayons. ·         My car is yellow and full of things like pictures done with crayons and other art projects. ·         I like to seal the letter and envelope to my landlord with a Disney sticker every month. ·         And I DO go out to a movie on a Monday night…. ·         But I let the dishes sit in the sink longer than I should. ·         The china was given to me by an older friend who wanted to help me settle into my apartment. She asked what I needed, and I said “cereal bowls”. ·         Sometimes I use my office to draw pictures for school. ·         I also saw “Kung Fu Panda” and loved it. ·         The plants in my kitchen window are awfully sad looking, but I persist in watering them. ·         Sometimes I have popcorn for dinner, ice cream for breakfast, or eat a container of frosting over a less than four day period.

What do you think? Am I an adult? Or am I just an aging child?