Things Kids Said To Me Today

I went on a field trip today with my summer students to Como Zoo, and we spent a long time on the bus. After work, I visited with some of my school-year students. I heard some very interesting things today.

"Teacher! Look at all those people laying down!" (He was pointing out the bus at a cemetery.)

"You're a teacher, but even when you aren't at school you are being good!"

"I saw you first, right? I saw you first so I win, right?"

"How long did it take you to walk here?" (As they greeted me at my car door)

"I didn't recognize you at first because you looked old and blonde. Why did you look old and blonde?"

I have no idea why I looked old and blonde as I am neither old, nor anywhere close to blonde, but that's alright.

Elementary Humor

A second grader told me the following joke today by the paper towels, then ran away laughing down the hallway.

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Mom.

Mom who?
Your mom is on the toilet!

Needless to say, after I suppressed my own giggle, I had to follow them to talk about what is appropriate for school.

How My Life is Perceived by 2nd Graders

My second grade students have been practicing the complex, plot-twist-filled, action packed play of "Ana and the Greedy Giant" in two small groups. I informed them today that I was going to try to borrow a camcorder or buy one tonight to record their performances tomorrow. Then I asked them, "Why do you think I want to record your performances?"

In his most sincere, loving way, one of my students raised his hands and said:

Well, Ms. McDougalhopper, you're not married. When you are old and alone some day in your home, you will want to watch the play and remember the students you used to love.

The answer I was looking for was something along the lines of, "So we can see ourselves perform", "to compare the groups' performances", "to check on our fluency", or whatever. What I got was something much more insightful and depressing. I do love my students, though.

Lesson on Cause and Effect for Big People

Today in third grade we talked about cause and effect. Some key points are as follows:

*Cause is what happens first. It answers the WHY of the effect.

*Effect is what happens second. It happens because of what happened earlier.

*When we use the word "so", the cause comes first and the effect second.

*When we use the word because, the effect comes first and the cause comes second.

*One cause can have many, many effects.

We did a couple of SMART lessons on cause and effect, then we did some Ms. McDougalhopper specific ones. What happens if Ms. McDougalhopper spills her tea? The students had some very interesting ideas for possible effects to my life, some more alarming than others.

Cause: Ms. McDougalhopper spills her tea.

Effect #1: She makes a mess on the floor.
Effect #2: She has to clean up her mess and it makes her late for a meeting.
Effect #3: She becomes crabby.
Effect #4: She is crabby and late, so she loses her job.
Effect #5: She ruins her new clothes.
Effect #6: She cries.
Effect #7: She becomes horribly dehydrated and has to go to the Mayo clinic.

Some of those effects have causes and effects right in them, but you get the point. The third grade students were really getting the concept.

Now is your turn to practice. Remember what we learned above. See if you can match the cause to the effect.

Cause	Effect
1.       1. I spilled my tea.	A.      I order a medium size pizza with garlic bread and eat it all myself.
2.      2.  My car needs an oil change.	B.      I take two “headache formula” pills and chug a Coke.
3.      3.  I burn my dinner.	C.      I lost my job.
4.      4.  I have a headache.	D.      I try to avoid morning showers.
5.       5. My alarm goes off at 5:45.	E.       I go to the meeting.
6.       6. The shower head is broken.	F.       I ignore the light until the car sputters and spurts.
7.      7.  I don’t want to go to a meeting.	G.     I hit snooze and pull the covers over my head.

What I'm Thankful For (2011)

As I sit on my couch eating rather stale Tootsie Rolls I found in a plastic baggie at the back of the shelves in the kitchen, it is taking both of my arms and one of my legs to fend off my overly affectionate cat. Since I was out of town for (American) Thanksgiving, she apparently missed me and insists on sitting on my neck or face or shoulder or something, even though I am sitting bolt upright. If you use your imagination, you can see where we might be having some problems.

But other than fending off Squeaky, I also have a couple of minutes to belatedly devote to thinking about what I am thankful for. As an elementary school teacher, I am going to present them to you second-grade-style using standard sentence stems. You'll need to continue using your imagination and pretend that each of the following sentences is written on a construction paper turkey feather sticking out every-which-way from a lopsided construction paper turkey.

I am thankful for my decent health and strength which allows me to work, play, and live comfortably.

I am thankful for my family who supports me and tries their best to understand me.

I am thankful for my friends who make me laugh, counsel me, and take me just the way I am.

I am thankful for a cat who is healthy even in her old age and who brings such entertainment, love, and humor to my little apartment.

I am thankful for my job which every day brings challenges of different sorts, provides me with my living, and gives me the opportunity to interact with and learn from some amazing people.

I am thankful for my students who amaze me, make me laugh, make me proud, and even make me adore them when they have me pulling my hair out and twitching.

I am thankful for a safe, comfortable home where food is always available.

I am thankful for my sense of humor, because without it, life would be much more difficult than it needs to be.

I am thankful for the man who loves me, who makes me laugh, reminds me it is alright to slow down every once and a while, and seems to think that I am someone special. In fact, he does a rather good job making me feel that, despite my quirks, I am a good person.

I am thankful for the ability to play the piano as it brings me and (occasionally) my family such joy.

I am thankful for literature, because without books, I would be lost. As the cover to my nook says, "Books are a finer world within the world", though they are no replacement for your own life, rather to be used as an enhancement.

I am thankful for the educational opportunities I have had that have helped shape me as a professional, educator, permanent student, citizen, and human being.

I am thankful that I am alive because even the days I spend more time crying than laughing couldn't be traded for anything better.