It's SO Hot That.....

The following statements are modeled after "Yo' Mama!" jokes, except they aren't jokes, they are true, and I can say the following sentences as a little white lady without being beaten up or given weird looks.

It is SO hot that.....

• I have an ice pack shoved down my shirt.
• even sitting in front of the window air conditioner, my clothes are wet with sweat.
• I want cupcakes but refuse to turn on the oven.
• I've gone to the fridge several times just to browse.....but really to feel the cool air.
• the condensation on the linolium at work actually splashed onto my legs as I walked across the floor.
• my glasses fogged up as soon as I left my air conditioned car.The heat literally blinded me.
• I left my lunch dishes in my car while I volunteered this evening, and the remaining eggplant Parmesan baked and crusted onto the sides of the pan and the lid popped off. Now my car smells like burnt eggplant parm.
• I am actually wondering, sanitary issues aside, how long it would take to cook cupcakes in my car in the garage.
• school is canceled tomorrow due to extreme heat and unsafe conditions in our building.