Progress Report 1 on Becoming a Dirty Dancer

As you may have read earlier, I have recently begun my journey to becoming a Dirty Dancer. No, I could never aspire to be Baby or Johnny/Swayze. I would be content at being as good as those crazy people in the background of the exercise video. The only thing I'll do different is wear real clothes (or at least my pajamas).

Now, granted, I took a weeks vacation to sunny Cozumel a mere one week into my new Dirty Dancing routine, but I am disappointed to say that I think I have not improved since day 2. Apparently, my learning curve starts out steep and plateaus rather quickly - or immediately.

I don't know if it is the super awesome Dirty Dancing exercise video or all the swimming and snorkeling I did last week, but I am beginning to feel better, and I swear the beginnings of the love handles are starting to dissipate, much to my relief. Unfortunately, at this point, I don't know if I should attribute it more to one activity or to the other. Or maybe I need to be Dirty Dancing AND snorkeling on alternative weeks. This could prove difficult/unpleasant given the current temperature of Minnesota lakes. Also, most of the lakes are muckier than the waters of the Carribean, so I don't know that it would be as visually appealing of an activity.

I think for now I will stick to continuing my failed attempts at the video. Maybe I just don't mesh with the peppy blond lady on the dvd. Maybe I should just skip the next level and find another one taught by that guy. Maybe my problem is that she keeps telling me to be sexy and improvise, and clearly I cannot improvise or even act sexy, let alone be sexy. If you were here, you'd hear me sigh.

If this tape fails me due to my lack of dance abilities, sexiness, and coordination, you'll see me next month out snorkeling in Schwartz Pond.

I'm a Geek

What's more fun that sitting around at the cabing playing crokinole for hours? Doing crossword puzzles! I've tried my hand at making my own, and I must say, it is probably not my calling. Also, you can now see what a geek I really am.


Crossword Puzzle: Geekery

or

http://justcrosswords.com/Geekery_custom14280.html

Spring Break Adventure

I must say that I had a rather splediferous time in sunny Cozumel. I sat by the pool, sat by the beach, sat on a boat, sat in restaurants - I did a lot of sitting. I also spent a good amount of time snorkeling. Because of this, I burned my shoulders, but I'll get over it.

Snorkeling was a lot of fun. I went three times in three different places. The first time I went across the street from our hotel with my father and sister. There were many little fish, but the current was pretty strong and kept sucking my little sister out to sea.

The second time I went snorkeling, I went out at Chankanaab park. That time I had my own personal (and kind of cute) guide. This time I saw different reefs and many, many fish. There was a barracuda, and despite the insistence of my guide that they don't bite humans, I've seen their teeth and I wanted to steer clear. We also saw the giant Jesus statue that is under the water. It was cool, but it also creeped me out a little bit to swim over it, since Jesus was looking up with such anguish, reaching his arms for the sky. The guide also did this thing where he clapped his hands under the water and these little fish came and swam all around us. That was cool.

The third time I went snorkeling was off of a boat a little further from land. This time was pretty cool as well since there were many more corals and plants to sea. There were many fish and schools of fish as well.

Besides snorkeling, I also swam with the dolphins out at Chankanaab. It was so ridiculously cool! I thought I would be more nervous, but to be honest, the seagulls scared me more than the dolphins. Naturally I have photos and video footage as proof of my adventure. After swimming with the dophins, I also got to get in the water to feed lettuce to some manatees. That was pretty fun. Again, because I am silly, I was more afraid of putting my hand near the mouths of the manatees thant the mouth of the dolphins. I was just so surprised at the way their mouth opened that the first time I jerked my hand away. It wasn't quite what I was expecting. It was very cool to see their nails on their fins. I learned, also, that they have "fingers" inside of their front fins that help them grasp things. That was cool to watch as well.

Needless to say, the trip was great. Too bad I am back in 50 degree weather and getting ready to go back to work.

Time for more Vitamin D for me!

Man am I exhausted! The change of weather is taking a toll on me, unfortunately. I love coming home from work and sittin gin the sun on the front porch. After about a century of winter, my body is relishing all the vitamin D and natural light. In fact, I am already a little less translucent than I used to be. Unfortunately, this weather change is waking me up at night.

Luckily, I am going to sunny Mexico next week and I'll be soaking up even more sun! YAY! Hopefully I'll be sleeping a lot, too. My 9th and 10th grade gym/health teacher told me you can never "catch up" on sleep, but I think that it is worth it to keep trying.

I'm a Dirty Dancer?

Grad school, living in a winter suburban wonderland, and those strange lung issues I had last summer have left me rather out of shape and breathless. I am on the best and the strongest asthma and allergy meds, and still I am out of breath climbing the 4 flights of stairs at work. The bad news from the doctor was that maybe this new inability to exercise for more than 5 minutes at a time may be a permanent thing. I've decided, however, that enough is enough. I am taking matters into my own hands.

I need to exercise more to build endurance. This decision lead to even more issues, however. Where and how should I exercise? Also, will writing this blog finally teach me to consistently spell the word "exercise" correctly? I cannot go running out on the paths because I would start running, get out of breath, and then I'd be out in public all disgusting-like and gasping for air, unable to crawl back to the shelter and pravacy of my home. I thought that perhaps a yoga class would be the answer, but I grew increasingly more paranoid about that, too. I am by no means a calm person, nor am I physically flexible at all. I could only imagine a scenario where I joined a beginner's yoga class only to find that everyone else was way more advanced, way more flexible, way more chicly dressed in their hip, yoga clothes, and way more zen than I was. This would leave me shabby, embarrassed, and with an ever decreasing sense of self-worth. I decided that a yoga class was not the answer. Plus, I further convinced myself, my schedule does not allow for one more regulated time slot.

In a desperate attempt to exercise and shield myself from utter humiliation, I decided to purchase a yoga tape from Target. For a few weeks I dodged it. I intentionally "forgot" to go down that aisle and peruse the merchandise. Monday, I bit the bullet and started reading the backs of the dvd casses.

At first I was discouraged. All the women on the front of these cases were slim, muscular, blond, and wearing (in my opinion) not enough clothes. I want to exercise in raggedy old clothes that I wouldn't mind getting sweat stained. Also, no one wants to see me in a sports bra and tight pants clumsily attempting to contort into various relaxing yoga positions. The dismay began to set in again.

Just as I was about to call it quits, however, someone, perhaps St. Patrick since it is so close to his special day, or, dare I say it, God himself, shined a shiny light onto a dvd tucked away at the bottom. This particular dvd was also on sale. As a last resort, I bent over to see what it was. WHA-AT? The official Dirty Dancing workout video complete with real dance steps Patrick Swayze did and music from the original motion pictures? Even if I were not trying to get in shape in the privacy of my own bedroom, how could I NOT purchase this?

I bought it.

I have practiced with one and a half of the routines on this tape. It is taught half by this rather flamboyant man named Johnny and some overly-energetic, non-natural blond lady with a weird accent. I didn't catch her name, but in the opening credits, she carries in a watermelon and says something to the effect of, "No! I'm not baby!" Needless to say, I was hooked from the start.

My friend Johnny taught the coreography for the first routine to "Love Man". Johnny seems to have pretty low expectations for me. His steps are easy, repetitive, and we basically repeat the same sequence for the entire song. Johnny and I are getting along just fine.

Once I felt pretty confident with "Love Man", I thought I would move on to the routine for "Yes". This choreography is taught by the-woman-who-is-not-Baby. She seems to have much higher expectations for me. She doesn't repeat the steps enough, and I can't keep up! Also, she's got me running and moving around "to get that heart rate up", and she has clearly forgotten that I am doing this in the minimal space between my dresser and my bed. Also, she keeps giving me license to "make the moves sexy". Obviously she has never met me. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror trying to follow her direction, and it was pretty darn funny.

I think we're going to keep working together for a while longer until we can get kind of on the same page. I have little faith that I will ever be able to dance this workout routine the way she wants. I feel like I am almost a disgrace to actual steps from Dirty Dancing set to music from the original motion picture.

Maybe I should just stick with Johnny, the guy that just doesn't think I'm capable of any sort of coordination/physical activity/being sexy. He apparantly has met me before.