Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Whomp Whomp

As an adult who pays bills and lives alone, I am allowed to have popcorn for second dinner. Sometimes I even have popcorn for first dinner. And this is alright because I am a full-blown, bill paying, taxes paying, member of society, adult.

Tonight I decided I wanted popcorn for second dinner, so I put the butter in the microwave and set up the popcorn popper. After the first few kernels popped into the bowl, I deemed the entire situation safe, and went to go catch the television show I was watching. Once the popcorn popping sound had ceased, I returned to the kitchen.

This is what I found:




Whomp Whomp.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Dinosaur, Teddy, Robot

I love playing boardgames, and lucky for me, this weekend was Memorial Day Weekend in the good old U. S. of A. This means that my family and the Sturm family drove up to the cabin in Wisconsin. Due to the persistent rain and storms, we spent quite a bit of our time inside the cabin. Since there is no television at the cabin (to be clear, there is a TV and a bunch of DVDs), and the quarters are relatively close, a good way to pass the time is by playing board games. Luckily, as I mentioned before, I love boardgames.

This weekend, we played Bananagrams, which is one of my favorites. Then we played a game the Sturm family owns and Martin insisted we play called "Word Power". Initially, I found the game to be overly complicated and rather stressful. The second time we played, however, I knew the rules so I didn't find it nearly as complicated. Actually, the rules are rather simple. Unfortunately for the game, it was still stressful and a little dull, but only because it was so slow moving. It was a game of synonyms and antonyms, but I did not always agree with the answers, and I don't like betting! I am no good at it!

Perhaps with more practice, I will become less anxious and irritated and enjoy playing the game more. Based on other games I enjoy, and just the fact that I like words, all signs point to me really liking Word Power.

Bananagrams

This morning, I played Scrabble Sentence Game for Juniors with my mom and grandma. Mom and Grandma were not terribly interested in the game once it got to the part I personally find the most interesting - when adding words to sentences becomes more difficult. They scoffed at silly, albeit grammatically correct, sentence options and refused to play them. They also refused to make inappropriate sentences. This means that sentences such as Zebras are high and want pot. Maria, a pink farmer cat, rides to school with Paul's brown broom. or John's hot pig ate on her hat for she is tall.  Jill hit a witch. etc. etc. etc.

Scrabble Sentence Game for Juniors

Again, I will state that I very much enjoy playing boardgames with my family and my friends. It always seems that someone comes up with ridiculous ideas, argues stupid points, or tries to impose new rules or disregard the rules already in place. This often leads to a lot of loud talking at each other, some yelling, outrageous suggestions, and people gesticulating wildly.

Below is a clip from the BBC show "Outnumbered" about a family with some very bright, outspoken, and hilarious children. This youtube clip is a compilation of times the family played boardgames during series 2. It reminds me a little bit of when I play boardgames with people.



Anyone up for a game of "Dinosaur, Teddy, Robot"?

Monday, May 23, 2011

Infomercials: Bringing You a Better Life (Part #1)

Today I came home from work and fed the cat. With the intent of going out for a walk later (which I did do), I sat on the couch eating ice cream straight out of the container and flipping through primetime reruns while I waited for Squeaky to finish her dinner. I lead a super exciting life.

So there I was on the couch, minding my own business, using the tablespoon to dig out the pieces of chocolate, when this commercial came on:


For a moment, I was confused. Last time I checked, I didn't have a soft core porn channel on my cable plan. But then I realized it was an infomercial for a fitness workout. *

Now, I am completely sold on this product, but I just have a few clarifying questions.
  1. If I lose 25 inches on my waist, where will it go?
  2. Will I look as attractive all sweaty in similar workout clothes?
  3. I could see how this would be fun for someone who is already in shape and already pretty sexy. How is this fun for someone like me who is terribly out of shape and is very much the opposite of sexy?
  4. Please provide what you believe the definition of  "fun" to be.
  5. Must I buy a stripper pole?
  6. I see that you can try your stripper pole - sorry. My apologies! - the "Flirty Fitness pole" for a low, low price of $1. How many injuries and/or deaths have resulted from people improperly installing the poll and then using it? 
  7. How much will the "Flirty Fitness pole" actually cost me?
  8. Will I be ready to work in a strip club after mastering this workout?
  9. Once I become a successful stripper, what percentage of my tips must I send to the good folks at flirtygirlfitness?
  10. What if I have absolutely no coordination? Will I still look sexy doing this work out?
  11. Where can I get more sexy friends to do this work out video with me?
  12.  Does this workout package include something like a small knife or scoop for any loved ones or friends to gauge their eyes out should they walk in on me attempting these "sexy" moves?
Other than those above questions, though, I am completely sold. I can't wait for my $40 dollar value that I only paid the amazingly low price of $9.99 for comes in the mail! I'll be sexy and flirty in a matter of weeks!

*I should mention that I am a huge fan of infomercials. I have spent many a Sunday morning in high school and during undergrad watching - ahem - excuse me - gaining information about the miraculous products including Set it and Forget it Rotisserie, BareMinerals or something, and the Jack Lalanne Power Juicer (my personal all time favorite).

Friday, May 20, 2011

Because I'm Awesome (#3)

Last night I decided to have a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats in lieu of my usual half pint of ludicrously decadent ice cream. It seems a strange choice to be made voluntarily, I know, but I was really craving those oat-bunches in the cereal. You know they're the best part!

So I go into the kitchen, singing a song to myself quietly - but mostly singing nonsense syllables since I don't know the words - and open the cupboard with the plates and bowls. I choose the orange bowl, take it out, and close the cupboard, then walk over to the shelf to get the honey bunches of oats and pour a healthy sized serving into the bowl. Then I got a tablespoon out, re-evaluated my spoon choice, and decided on a teaspoon instead. Then I went to the fridge, grabbed the milk, and set it on the counter.

This is a riveting story, I know.

I looked at the milk and panicked. Some of the milk was missing! The first thought that popped into my head was, "Who has been drinking the milk?" When I remembered a millisecond later that I live alone and my cat does not have opposable thumbs, I thought rather loudly in my head, "WHO HAS BEEN IN MY APARTMENT?" My heart was beating a little harder. I felt the panic setting in.

Then I remembered that I had had a glass of milk when I got home. I opened the milk. I drank the milk. There was no evidence that someone had been in the apartment without my knowledge, and certainly no evidence that it was a mustached man with an evil grin wearing a bowler hat (as mentioned in my post about perfectly rational, adult fears) had gotten into my home while I was gone.

This whole ordeal probably happened within one second, but it was a pretty intense emotional experience. Maybe I should have stayed with ice cream.

*Vote on the Disney Princess poll. Even if you are male, if you HAD to be a Disney Princess, which would you be?*

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Instant Mood Lifters

Lisa and I are currently having an instant message conversation about things that are instant mood lifters. After a bad day, it can sometimes be hard to get out of that funk. That's when you need a go-to list of things to do or look at that will immediately make you feel better and possibly eliminate all negative feelings all together

Below is the list that we have compiled.
  1. Blowing bubbles
  2. Hula hoops
  3. Kittens (especially at the tiny, fluffy, itty-bitty stage)
  4. Baby pandas Sneezing
  5.  Decadent ice cream to replace a meal - This could be eating a pint of Brownie Batter ice cream for dinner or going out for an extravagant cheesecake and red velvet frozen yogurt sundae for lunch
  6. Penguins getting tickled
  7. Buying fresh flowers for yourself just because
  8. A giant bowl of over-buttered popcorn
  9. Laughing babies 
  10. A nice, hot shower
  11. A good night's sleep
  12. Listening to a favorite song really loudly while dancing around like a maniac and singing along at the top of your lungs
  13. A hug from a child who says "Thank you", "You're the best!", or "I love you!" 

Now certainly there are more things in life that have the power to make people happier right away. Also, people may have different instant mood lifters than me, I suppose. Perhaps laughing babies make me smile, but they simply infuriate you. Who knows? You do.

What instantly lifts your mood?

*Vote on the Disney Princess poll. Even if you are male, if you HAD to be a Disney Princess, which would you be?*

    Monday, May 16, 2011

    9 Reasons a Cat is a Better Pet than a Hermit Crab

    VS


    1. Cats respond to their names. Have you ever seen a hermit crab that responds to its name?
    2. Hermit crabs do not talk to their owners, but cats can have very animated "conversations" with people. Besides the vocalization of their thoughts, needs, and wants, cats have very expressive body language.
    3. A cat will play with you. You can dangle string, feathers, or a plastic rodent, and if the cat is in the mood to play, they will go nuts! Hermit crabs walk around their cages. That's about it.
    4. Cats can do cool flips and jumps. Again, hermit crabs walk around in their cage.
    5. A cat can snuggle with you at night, but if you slept with your hermit crab, you would probably roll over on it, crushing it with the weight of your body. Plus it might pinch you with its little claws and poop in the bed.
    6. Many cats are very intelligent and can even solve problems or little puzzles. Hermit crabs are not particularly known for their intelligence.
    7. Cats were worshiped as deities in ancient Egypt. No known civilizations or societies that we know of worship or bow down before the hermit crab.
    8. A cat will keep your lap warm in the evening as you read your book or do your crossword puzzle and drink tea. You'd need at least 75 hermit crabs to cover your lap, and even then I don't know that it would actually keep you warm. Besides that, having 75 hermit crabs in my lap might give me the heeby-jeebies.
    9. I have never seen a hermit crab act happy to see someone. My cat, Squeaky, greets me at the door when I come home, happy to see me.

    Sunday, May 15, 2011

    Results of the "30 Rock Character Survey"

    Quite a while ago, the 30 Rock character survey was posted. The poll has been closed for a couple of days now, but I haven't had the chance to come and update the blog and the survey on the blog.

    If you read my crazy ramblings every once and a while, you may have read this post where I wonder if I am Liz Lemon. So then, I asked you folks:

    If you were a character from "30 Rock" you'd fancy yourself most like:

    Liz Lemon
      (75%)
     
    Jack Donaghy
      (25%)
     
    Tracy Jordan
       (0%)
    Jenna Maroney
       (0%)
    Kenneth Parcell
       (0%)
    Toofer Spurlock
       (0%)
    Frank Rossitano
       (0%)


    Obviously, my readers are much like me (in that they are awesome). And we are all like Liz Lemon. And Liz Lemon is kind of like the actor who plays her, Tina Fey. And Tina Fey is amazingly awesome. Therefore, most of the people that read my crazy ramblings and vote on my random surveys are amazingly awesome. I took deductive logic in undergrad. I know what I am talking about.

    Some of you think you are like Jack Donaghy. Why is that? What qualities do you possess that make you like the Irish-American, right wing bossman?

    Apparently we are all Jacks or Lizzes (Lizs? Lizes?), though, because no one chose the other characters. Unless perhaps no one chose the other characters because they identify more with one that was not listed. Or perhaps they want to be amazingly awesome and so chose Jack or Liz because those are the two most awesome characters. Or maybe some of you don't watch the show, and you just recognized those names.

    There are probably other possibilities, as well.

    Wednesday, May 11, 2011

    Not Tired - Too Hot - Rambling...

    Sometimes, for no reason at all, I cannot get to sleep. Tonight is not one of those times. Tonight, there are quite a few reasons I cannot sleep.

    The first reason is that I didn't even get home until about 8pm. After going in to work early, I attended my first night of Crisis Prevention Intervention (CPI) training. While this is great and fantastic, it really delayed my evening routine quite a bit.

    Another reason I may be wide awake right now is that I know I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I have doctor's appointments pretty much all day tomorrow, so I am not going to work (because I'll be at the doctor). Even though I will not be going to work, I will still have to leave the house at the same time. In fact, I should probably leave a little earlier in case I get lost in the building or something. Point is, this mindset is not without error, because I still have to wake up and leave at the same time.

    Thirdly, I don't know what is going on in Rochester, but that has to be the sixth or seventh emergency vehicle to drive by. Those things are noisy, especially when the windows are open.

    Why are the windows open? Because it is so hot! Why is it so hot? Ugh! I hate being hot! I am uncomfortable and sweaty and even with the windows open, it is hot in the apartment! I need a big strong man to come over and put my air conditioner in the window!

    I'd do it myself if I physically could. I can do a lot of things by myself. Believe it or not, I re-arrange the furniture by myself. I also change the light bulbs by precariously balancing on things. I also fix things, open my own jars and bottles, and just never go into the attic. Unfortunately, even with creative leverage, I cannot safely get the air conditioner up into the window. And so I sweat.

    This means also that I can no longer partake in my evening shower routine. I like to shower at night because I hate the hair dryer. In the winter, you can't go outside with wet hair. In my mind, it is better to let my hair air dry standing straight up at night than to take a shower in the morning and have to use the hair dryer. But now I'll have to take a shower in the morning because I'll be so gross and sweaty from these high temperatures.

    As my friend, Tamera, would say, "Le sigh."

    In other news, though, it was a pretty good day. Maybe I'll have to get out some bags of frozen vegetables and eat some candy. That will probably help get me ready for bed. There are few things more relaxing than drinking a cold glass of water and eating jelly beans with a bag of frozen green beans in your lap while watching late night re-runs.

    Monday, May 9, 2011

    All Kinds of Crazy

    Are you afraid when you see bees?*

    I’ve been following my friend’s blog rather closely lately, and she has been writing about her fears. This got me to thinking about my fears, and I’ve come to a perplexing conclusion. While Lisa’s fears seem to be fairly normal and general, I have very – VERY – specific fears.

    Sometimes in the kitchen I fear I will accidentally stab myself or drop or fall on a knife, and I will be not injured enough where I feel like I should call an ambulance, but too injured to drive myself, and I will have to go downstairs and ask my neighbor to drive me to the ER. And what if he isn’t home? How do I make the judgment call on when to call the ambulance? The hospital really isn’t that far away. Should I walk there with a knife sticking out of my arm or my finger holding on by a thread? I’d probably get there just as fast as if an ambulance came to get me. What would I do?

    I also worry that I will injure myself doing something stupid on a Friday night, and no one will know that I am hurt on the floor until Monday morning. You are probably thinking that this scenario is not very likely, but if you know me, just think about it for a moment. First of all, I climb on stuff, balance on things, and crawl over whatever is in my way in order to get a job done. I crawl on the counter to get to the top shelf of the kitchen cupboards. I crawl on my desk – over the cup of pens, pencils, scissors, etc. to get to the storage cupboard in the office. I’ll balance between a chair and a shelf to reach something up high. 

    In fact, I should be just as worried about hurting myself after work on a Friday and having the students find me in a heap on Monday morning! The fact that the desk is wobbly and I am in a skirt does not stop me from climbing up there when no one is around.

    Besides that, I am just a clumsy person. I fell into the shower the other day. I was just trying to climb over the tub wall and into the shower, but I somehow ended up falling into the shower, getting my leg caught on the metal lip of the shower door. To top it all off, the water was hotter than what I would consider comfortable. I didn’t even trip on anything! I don’t know how that happened!

    Point is, the likelihood of me getting hurt and no one finding me for days seems perfectly plausible.

    Also, because I am an adult who has perfectly rational, reasonable, and adult-like fears, I worry that something is lurking beneath the bed, behind the couch, or in the closet. I cannot sleep if there are any closet doors open in the house. Really, I prefer all drawers to be closed, as well. 

    I can't sleep if my feet are hanging off the edge of the bed because something might eat them or just jump up and bite them clean off at the ankles. Sometimes I even need my feet completely covered by a blanket to help me get to sleep. It isn't as if a sheet could really stop something from biting my feet off, but it makes me feel better.

    Since I was a child, I’ve had a reoccurring nightmare where I am minding my own business at home at night and I look out the window. Outside is the face of a sinister looking, grinning man with a mustache and a bowler hat. For this reason, I tend to close the blinds at night when I am by myself.

    See what I mean? I have very specific fears. I am not afraid of things like heights or spiders or normal things. Perhaps I need psychiatric evaluation.  No, I definitely need psychiatric evaluation, but perhaps it is due to the above mentioned fears. Otherwise, I’ve got plenty of other crazy on the table that should qualify me.

    *That's for you, Linnea.

    Sunday, May 8, 2011

    Magic Science

    My friends are awesome - truly, amazingly awesome.

    This weekend I went up to the Cities to celebrate Mother's Day in the same town as my mother, and Saturday night Dani, Kyle, and Derek came over. While sitting in the living room, basically just being near each other, Kyle picked up a copy of "National Geographic". This particular issue had a long article about "camera obscura".

    Apparently, if you board up all the windows in your apartment, then poke a tiny hole in the wall, the gorgeous scenery outside will show up perfectly - albeit upside-down - on the opposite wall. The photographs the guy in the article had taken were amazing! Really stunning! He had even used prisms or something to make some of the images turn up right-side up in some cases. Look at it here. Right? Is that not incredible? Just the view from that room alone is fantastic, but then the fact that it is upside down inside the apartment is just awesome!

    The article (which, let's be honest, I didn't read thoroughly because it was really long and I wanted to get to the playing part of the evening) had a little photograph of how the artist had set up a light bulb outside of a box, and the image of the light bulb showed up upside down inside the box. Dani and I were a little skeptical, but, naturally, because these are the kind of people my friends and I are, we wanted to try it, too.

    So we got a box from the garage, a bright yellow Ikea desk lamp from the basement, a stick-pin, a piece of white paper, and some electrical tape. The corners of the box were covered to prevent extra light from getting in, the stick-pin was used to make the tiny hole, and the piece of white paper was placed on the opposite wall of the box. We then turned on the desk lamp, put it in from of the pin hole, and turned off all the living room, kitchen, and hall lights.

    We also had to prop our box up on the game box for "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader". Please don't ask what we were doing with that board game. It was useful for our experiment, though.

    At first, the image wasn't so great, but we were still excited that it kind of sort of worked. When the pin hole was made just ever-so-slightly larger, our image quality greatly improved. We could see the light bulb and the yellow lampshade perfectly (though upside down) inside the box! It was so cool! This camera obscura thing really works!

    We tried getting other things to show up, but most of our experiments were failed. The jellybean bowl didn't work, nor did the lava lamp or an illuminated page from the newspaper. Holding up a glass of water in front of the desk lamp provided some results, however, and it was kind of cool to see the water moving inside the box.

    Now I have absolutely no idea why or how this happens. I would like to read the article, but let's be honest, it is really long and the science part of my brain is kind of inept. If I read it right now, I wouldn't understand a lick of it. I need to wait until I get all inspired and motivated, then read it and do some serious internet research.

    Until then, I might try to play with this whole camera obscura thing some more and assume that it operates under the same magic science principles that apply to the show "CSI: Miami".

    *Now you should go up to the top, right hand part of the blog and take the "30 Rock" survey!*

    Thursday, May 5, 2011

    "10 Items or Less" and Other Language Awesomeness

    I may have mentioned it several times before, but I'll say it once again - I studied linguistics in undergrad, and I loved it!Studying linguistics legitimized all those feelings about language I had before, but didn't have the education to argue for. In my opinion, language is an ever-changing beast, and we should be able to use it how we please.

    If I want to end a sentence in a preposition, I should be allowed to. If I want to cram prefixes and suffixes onto a base word to make something you won't find in any English dictionary, I am going to do it. Don't lecture me on the difference between "who" and "whom"! I know what the difference is, I just choose not to care. Do you know why I don't care? It is because English is changing, and we have almost completely eradicated the need for differentiating between those two. In fact, "whom" is almost completely out!

    Now my friends that studied fancy-schmancy things like "English Literature" will get all up in arms about how it is important to use English correctly. You know what? I love you all, but you are stupid. Alright. That was harsh. You aren't stupid, but you certainly aren't having as much fun with language as you could be. Also, if you want us to be using English "correctly", we're going to have to go back a couple of hundred years, because modern English has eliminated several verb tenses. Or perhaps, English Lit folks, you would like to go all the way back before 1066 and have us all speaking English the way it was spoken before William the Conqueror made some changes.

    Point is, language is changing, fluid, and fun. Language is a fascinating thing that we should be enjoying! Insisting on using "proper English" is just downright ridiculous!

    Please enjoy this amazing bit from Stephan Fry regarding language. It really tickles me pink, and he even mentions ending sentences with propositions! to. with. of.



    I, too, become nearly irate when people get all snobby at the grocery store.  Some of my favorite sentences or communications in English would be classified by these sorts as "misuses" or "mistakes". (On a side note, I need to start using the phrase "sound sex" when defending my thoughts on language.)

    Of course the above video lead me to another Stephan Fry clip regarding language, and this one is just as enjoyable.



    Please allow me to make a sentence for you:

    "However much the starry-eyed butter cow strove to complete her cockamamie novel concerning the space travels of rabid Bavarian snow geese, the monomania of her armadillo cousin-in-law prevented said butter cow from achieving her goal."

    Wednesday, May 4, 2011

    Lessons From "Law & Order: SVU"

    This is probably on my television more often than it should be.

    I will admit to anyone that I enjoy watching the television show "Law & Order". Of course, my favorite spin-off of this show is "Law & Order: SVU". Olivia, Elliot, Fin, Munch, and I have solved a lot of crimes together over the years, especially back when living with the Protagitron and we had very limited television in English. Sure, Captain Cragen and I have had some disagreements in the past, but all in all he is a tough, but fair and loving boss. He's got our backs.

    Look at him! He loves you, too!

    I like to look at "Law & Order: SVU" not so much as a show for entertainment as a learning experience. Just like I enjoy documentaries and The History Channel, I watch "Law & Order: SVU" to gain more knowledge. It is not a show that feeds on societal fears! It is here to inform us!

    While I have learned many things from this educational program, tonight's lesson deserves to be discussed. If you plan on watching the episode and don't want it spoiled, you should probably stop reading now.

    A middle aged woman spent her life single, working on her career. She decided to start a family, and so adopted adorable Baby Jasper. While this woman was on a business trip, Baby Jasper was found in an alleyway. As usual, this was a somewhat deceptive opening. The actual topic tonight was "reproductive abuse". Reproductive abuse could be poking holes in a condom, not swallowing the pill, or whatever to intentionally sabotage birth control and with the end goal of an unplanned baby.

    The "reproductive abuser" in the show was a former ADA who had knocked up some forty-seven women across the state, promising each of them that they were the only one, he would marry them, he loved them, etc. Other than paying child support, however, he was an awful father - never around. But anyway, he was engaged to the woman from the beginning of the show and - shocker - he knocked her up! And even more shocker, Baby Jasper was his baby as well!

    The thing is, none of these women saw this man for what he really was. They all believed he was madly in love with them, he was the perfect man, and that indeed they should keep their babies and raise a family with him.

    Usually what I learn from "Law & Order: SVU" is that I am lucky not to be dead right now (especially since I have a cat! Cats make women more of a target, or so I've gathered from this accurate, educational television show.). Tonight, however, I learned that even if I fall in love again and someday get engaged and my life seems all hunky-dory, it is probably a lie! Especially if I somehow end up pregnant before the whole marriage thing! Now I know that there are "reproductive abusers" out there having dozens - dozens - of children and pulling the wool over each mother's eyes.

    It is a wonder I don't have more bad dreams, or that I even manage to get out and about. If I took everything from my beloved "Law & Order: SVU" to heart, I would be curled up in the corner rocking back and forth to calm my nerves after locking the twenty padlocks on each of my doors.

    Tuesday, May 3, 2011

    Results of the "How You Keep Your Brain Young" Survey

    As a person who is getting crazier every day and may or may not be developing adult onset ADD, I think losing my mind is probably going to happen in the near future. However, volunteering with older folks with Alzheimer's and dementia has made me think that maybe if I "exercise my brain" I can stave off the inevitable for a few extra years (weeks? days? hours?). I love doing crossword puzzles and any sort of game that involves word-play. I have even been trying to learn jazz music to make my brain do math without thinking that it is doing math.

    So I asked you, friends and strangers, to tell me your favorite way to "exercise your brain".

    Which type of "brain exercise" do you prefer?

    Crossword Puzzles
      (14%)
     
    Sudoku
      (28%)
     
    Jigsaw Puzzles
      (0%)
    Jumbles
      (0%)
    I prefer to sit and stare at the wall, slowly allowing my brain to turn to mush.
      (28%)
     
    None of the above
      (28%)

    I am not terribly surprised that just as many of you enjoy sudoku as like to sit and stare at the wall, allowing your brain to slowly turn to mush. Interestingly, the same number chose "none of the above". What does that mean? What do you do? How are you keeping your brain young?

    I already told you what I do. It doesn't seem to be working, though. I am constantly walking into rooms and forgetting why I went in there. I can't figure out why everything is blurry if I don't put my glasses on right away in the morning. Most alarmingly, however, I find myself muttering under my breath about teenagers. What are those kids doing, out at the mall at 8pm on a Wednesday night? Damn kids! Riding their skateboards down the side of the highway! Why are they blocking the entire sidewalk? Why?

    But my growing sentiments of frustration towards teenagers aside, I think my brain works pretty well. I haven't done any irreparable damage to myself yet.

    Speaking of irreparable damage, next Thursday I have a four hour (Yes! That is 4 hour!) appointment at the Mayo Clinic. Hopefully some of the best doctors in the world can help me get this breathing thing under control. When the woman on the phone asked me if my appointment had to do with some sort of work environment or injury thing, I responded, "Nope. This is just the way I am." And she laughed. Nothing funnier than making a joke out of something not funny at all.

    I have to go. A bunch of cars are sitting outside my apartment honking at each other. I bet the cars are full of teenagers! Humph!

    Sunday, May 1, 2011

    I Got Skunked

    Friday night I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen, so when Saturday morning rolled around, I decided to lounge around in my sweats for as long as possible. Even though I woke up at 8:30am, I didn't get showered and dressed until nearly 11:00am. I spent the morning eating, drinking tea, reading my book, working on crossword puzzles, and catching up on some television. It was very nice.

    At one o'clock, my friend Carolyn came and picked me up. Over the last month, it has come to my attention that everyone and their pet duck (or everyone and their grandmother, if you prefer that phrase) in Rochester goes fly fishing. If you know me at all, you can probably imagine that I am not much of a fisherman. In fact, I don't think I've been fishing since I was maybe five years old at Eagle River, and that wasn't fly fishing, but sitting-on-the-end-of-the-dock-with-another-fish-on-the-hook fishing. It always made me sad to see the bucket of little tiny fish swimming around. One of the adults would let a kid choose, then catch the little fish with their hands and ruthlessly, callously, and with malice, attach it to the sharp, torturous hook, the point of which gleamed in the sunlight. Of course, I was five and younger, so I may be blowing this a little out of proportion.

    The point is, everyone here seems to go fly fishing. Granted, almost everyone I know here works at or is somehow connected to the school where I work, so it might not be a very accurate sampling of the city's population. Carolyn enjoys fly fishing, as does her boyfriend, Bruce. Everyone on the maintenance team I've spoken with enjoys fly fishing. The other Ivy on the DHH team goes fly fishing. And so, on Friday when Carolyn asked if I wanted to tag along with her, I jumped at the opportunity.

    Carolyn picked me up at one o'clock, and after dropping her daughter and daughter's friend off at the Apache Mall, we got on 52 southbound and drove through Chatfield. Just south of Chatfield, we pulled off onto this dirt road and no sooner had I blinked than we were at Trout Run.

    Despite the clouds and drizzling rain, the view was breathtaking. As Carolyn pulled on her waders and set up her fishing rod, I watched in awe as not one, but five! hawks circled above us. Dozens of little birds chirped, tweeted, and flew around us. The cows and their calves rambled around in the hilly fields, and the trout were literally jumping out of the water!

    "Oh! There's a fish! There's another one! Carolyn! Look at all the fish!" I exclaimed pointing. Carolyn good-naturedly smiled and agreed that the fish were in fine form that day.

    I watched Carolyn prepare for this fly fishing sport, and I'll admit it is a rather labor-intensive and tedious set-up. I got to help tie the lure because I could thread the line through the little eye-holes of the tiny fake insects.

    Mostly I watched Carolyn fish and enjoyed the scenery. Some of Trout Run is right up against a wall of rocks, covered in moss and plants, with trees on top. Occasionally, one of the several hawks would stop circling and perch up there, surveying the land below. The sound of the rushing water and the feel of the soft earth beneath my boots while taking in the cool, damp air and sights of so many animals was amazing and incredibly relaxing.

    At one point we climbed over a "style" and into a pasture with the some cows and their calves. The "style" was basically little stairs to climb over the barbed wire fence. Carolyn explained that whenever you see one of these, it is like granting permission to have access to the stream via the pasture. While Carolyn continued with her fishing, I wandered around along the stream, climbing over "styles" and exploring an interesting bridge.

    Carolyn let me play with the fishing rod for a while, too, and attempted to teach me to cast. It is rather tricky, I think, but keep in mind that I have the fine and gross motor skills of a four year old, and you don't see many four year olds fly fishing. I did not catch anything, which Martin says in fishing lingo is "getting skunked". Carolyn, however, caught two brown trout, which she released because they were so small.

    After a little while, damp and happy, we got back in the car and drove back towards the city of Rochester. Once home, the sun came out and the rain stopped. I thought about going for a walk, but all that fresh air had tuckered me out, and after my dinner of tacos, I accidentally took a little fifteen minute nap on the couch.

    I finished my day with sorting some laundry and going over to a friend's house to eat sweet potato fries, chocolate cake, and watch "Flipped", which was actually a rather cute film.

    It turns out, fly fishing might be something I want to try. And even if I don't try it, I'd like to go back down to Trout Run just to sit and take deep breaths of fresh air while enjoying the sights and sounds of nature.

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