My Cruel but Lovely Mistress

Montreal is a wonderful city full of surprises. When I awoke to see the streets and sidewalks had been replaced by undisturbed whiteness and snow clung to every branch and windowsill, I was struck by the magic of Montreal's winter wonderland. With a warmed heart and a twinkle in my eye, I admired the near perfect scene from my window. Of course, eventually I had to leave the house, and expecting the worst, I bundled myself up in many layers and wrapped a scarf around my face. When at last I opened the door to the outside after waddling down the stairs, I was pleasantly surprised yet again my the relative warmth and stillness of the air.

Walking to the bus stop proved to be a bit of a challenge. While the city was beyond lovely in its pristine frozen state and the air did not immediately freeze my skin, the sidewalks were atrociously unfit for pedestrians. As I slipped and slid around on the ice, walking in the strange way a person only walks when on ice, I would straighten up whenever it seemed I was about to hit a solid piece of concrete. Unfortunately, I hit black ice more than once. Fortunately, I managed to avoid at least six possible concussions and three broken bones by flailing my arms and bending my knees in a ridiculous manner. I couldn't help but chuckle at the double edged blade that is Montreal. First, Mme Montreal gives me the gift of the most beautiful winter scenery. Then, after she has lured me out of my safe and cozy abode, she tries to kill me.

Once on the bus, I felt a bit safer, although the magical snow had naturally slowed public transportation.

Oh Montreal! How I will miss you in all your cruel beauty!

Crokinole - The Movie!

For those of you that don't know what Crokinole is, I don't know whether to pity or envy you. I'll provide you with the bare bones basics: It is a (Canadian, I believe) board game where you flick little discs on a wooden polygon in order to gain points and make your opponant lose points. There exists such a thing as the World Championship for Crokinole, and two cousins have made a documentary about this event. I MUST HAVE A COPY OF THIS DOCUMENTARY.

The Crokinole website boasts the existence of the dvd, and even offers to sell it to me...At least until I scroll down the page and it tells me that for a mere 25.95 I can have the DVD but Sorry, the DVD is out of stock. Also, it seems there are no plans to produce the movie in the near future. Or ever, for that matter.

You see my dilemna.

My fantabulous boyfriend likes crokinole very much. So much so, in fact, that at some points over the summer, I became jealous of the polygonal board. Needless to say, he attempted to buy this documentary, but failed. In the past (especially recently), this boyfriend of mine has gone above and beyond my expectations for birthday, christmas, and anniversary gifts, both monetarily and thoughtfully. I must somehow find a copy (probably used) of this for him for Christmas.

If you or someone you know knows where to get Crokinole the Movie, please point me in the right direction.

In other news, we have bought, put up, and decorated our little Christmas tree. It is beautiful with its twinkling dollarama lights, batman and musical instrument ornaments, a paper chain, and a tinfoil star as a tree topper. The cats have not yet tried to eat, climb, or kill it, which both surprises and delights me.

Procrastination

Instead of studying and working on my paper as I should be, I am reminded of the time spent last summer on the dock at the lake with my friends. During this time, we played a lot of mad libs, which is a registered trademark, you should know. I decided, and I'm sure I won't regret this decision later, that it would be a good use of my time to play variations of this game online. It seems, however, that I have hit a new low this afternoon, as I have now attempted to make my own "mad:)glibs". Because I am a big nerd, mine is based on one of the songs from the musical "My Fair Lady".

Unfortunately, I cannot for the life of me make it work on this page. hmmm.... Too bad. I assure you it was good, too.

The picture is of Oliver, a past foster cat of the Animal Rescue Network. Luckily he has found a permanent home. For all those in Montreal, I would encourage you to look into fostering through the ARN. Also, if you are looking to adopt a pet, visit the ARN or even the SPCA before going to a pet store. These animals are wonderful, affectionate, and in need of a good permanent home or at least some human interaction and love.

Hey Hey Hey! Goodbye!

As this week hits hump day, I am already feeling a little bit at the end of my rope. Two Monday schedules in a row. Last day of class due Monday. Paper due Tuesday. Take home exam handed out Tuesday night, due Thursday. Exam Thursday morning. Meeting with prof about paper that I haven't started yet on Friday. On top of all of this, my poor computer is sick. My friend who works with the computer task force assures me it isn't my fault. Apparantly sometimes the backlight or something on laptops just stops working. Since I know nothing about it, I believe everything he tells me. He could tell me that little technology monkeys got into my hard drive discus progenerator and that this could've been prevented if I had just spent 3 mintues a day telling my computer what I love about it while repeatedly pressing control alt 9 tab. Luckily the computer itself is ok. I did have to go out and find a monitor though to plug it into. Poor baby. It really only had to hold on another three weeks.

To top it all off, windows media player and my ipod keep playing "na na na na goodbye". It popped up on shuffle at the bus stop this morning, on the computer before lunch, and just a minute ago while I was thinking about how I am going to make it look like I've been working on my theory paper for a week. Oh good. Now it is playing "Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me". I love music, but it seems to just want to rub salt in the wounds today. Boo, windows media player shuffle! BOO!

Montreal is on Fire

So Montreal is on fire. As I am one of the luckiest people on earth, the fire is located down the street from me. This makes the entire apartment smell like a bonfire. I personally have not ventured outside today, but one roommate went downtown and another down the street to the dep, and they both assure me that the streets near our house are crawling with police officer and firefighters. On top of all this, it has been raining the entire day. The news, while focusing on the fire in California rather than the one down the street, has informed me that even downtown is covered in ashes. This probably means that our neighborhood is going to be disgusting tomorrow. Hopefully no one was hurt in the fire, and all the law enforement officer working on it succeeded and emerged unscathed. I'm sure CTV will tell me all about it in the morning.

The reason I did not venture outside today is not because of the fire or the rain, but more because I stayed up a good part of the night to fix my computer and play a game of online scrabble with my boyfriend. I slept in rather late, and then had to devote the rest of the day to working on my Sociolinguistics project on gender neutral job titles. While today has been tedious and I really don't have much to show for it, I still feel pretty good about yesterday. Yesterday, I holed up in the Ferrier building and wrote all seven pages of my rough draft about the Royal Cemetery of Ur. For some reason, the prof wants this paper 1 1/2 spaced instead of double spaced, which means I had to write even more. Boo to that, but Yay to having a rough draft done. Now, even if I sleep for the next 5 days, I can still hand SOMETHING in. Granted, I pretty much ignore one of the questions on the paper topic in my rough draft, but the rest of it is fairly well written for a rough draft, so I think it could earn a gentlman's C.

Don't worry. I'm going to try to edit it to improve my chances....and my grade.

In other news, Yahoo News has informed me that thanks to a ringtone that sings "condom, condom, condom", condom sales in India have risen. Yay! The campaign also included tv and radio commercials, and managed to reach 150 million men. I guess this is epecially important because many of the migrant workers frequent sex worker and are willing to pay extra so as not to have to use a condom. This is bad, and why India started their condom campaign. According to India's Aids Control Body, the sales of condoms have increased by about 85 million in the last 6 months. Yay for safe sex!

I need to work on my Sociolinguistics paper now so that my roommate and I can watch the BBC adaptation of "Persuasion".

Brief Catch-Up

My goodness have I been negligent in keeping this up! I blame it partially on my laziness, by business, and the fact that I forgot the password for a little bit.

Things that have happend since a million years ago include, but are not limited to:

1. My boyfriend, currently residing half a continent away, came to visit me for six days. We watched movies, went out to eat, visited friends, etc. My little brother also came up for the weekend and we all went bowling with my straight-haired roommate. It was quilles, which I guess is called duckpins in New England. To be really specific, it was called "petite quille". The balls are all really little and slippery. It must be said that I can hold my own at this sport...or at least I have been able to the whole two times I've participated in my life. Naturally, we all went out on this adventure on the other side of the island and visited Little Italy on a day where the torrential rainfall left us wet for days. Well, maybe not days, but we had to dry all of our clothes. The hours spent inside were not enough to dry us off. Mon chum and I also had a little joint celebration since his visit was almost right between our two birthdays. This is how I acquired my super cool orange ipod.

2. Obama won the election on my straight-haired roommate's birthday. She had received a divine dream where God told her to bake an Obama cake so that Obama could win. Not a religious person, she took this very seriously, and we all enjoyed delicious Obama and Sub-Obama cake while watching the election coverage on Fox news, the only American station we could manage to get sound and some picture on with our rabbit ears. The 3 crazy Canadian channels we get were not covering the election! How dare they not fully cover something that doesn't really have to do with their government! Amazingly, even when Obama was up something like 167-89, Fox news still managed to spin it, making us all believe McCain was in the lead. I'm just impressed.

3. Mr. Claws and Pistache have been fighting less, but when they do fight (i.e. Mr. Claws attacks Pistache who tries to run and hide or curl up in a ball), it seems to be more severe than before.

4. We went through something like 5 bags of candy on Halloween, each containing 70-90 pieces of chocolate. We went crazy and bought the nut-free good stuff, assuming we would get to eat the left overs. Unfortunately, we ran out! Some popular costumes amongst the youngsters included princess, Indiana Jones, Lion, and Giraffe. In fact, I think they had a lion and giraffe costume sale. Amongst the older trick or treaters, no costume seemed to be the way to go, which I think is just cheap. If you are 16 years old, and you want some candy, at least put some effort into it.

5. My curly-haired roommate and her family graciously put up with me for Canadian Thanksgiving, inviting me to their home outside of Toronto. The meal was fabulous, the company wonderful and warm, and the visit to Toronto exciting. I finally went up in the CN tower. The picture included is one I took from the top. I even tip-toed over the glass floor, although I prefered the outside caged in part to that.

All in all, I've just been busy with midterms and working on my final papers, due at the end of this month. For my sociolinguistics paper, I've been reading a bunch of drivel about Non-Sexist Language and its many pitfalls but why we need to use it anyway. Hopefully I'll be able to use these hours and hours of readings I've done somehow in my final paper. I just wanted to study the use of gender-neutral job titles, but now I am stuck reading all this and my prof thinks I am a crazy radical feminist. I am crazy and a feminist, but I don't think all of those words should be applied all at once to me.

From Beneath the Rubble, A Ray of Hope!

I'm sitting in my room with a bag of doritos and a massive pile of books pertaining to music theory which I have percariously balanced in two "stacks". Between the Doritos and the closest pile of books is an entire stack of notecards with words related to Italian renaissance art and architecture. These are somewhat balanced on an orange marker and a note pad with a friend's email address on it. The view of that is slightly blocked by the cord from my webcam which is balanced on a mug with a smiling, ice-skating gingerbread man. Surprisingly, it is the webcam that bother me most in this situation. I set it up last night to talk to my boyfriend, but I was too lazy to put it away before bed. In fact, I am too lazy to put it away now. I regret to inform the world that I live in a pile of my own filth! Well, maybe less filth and more general disorder and untidiness, but you get the idea.

I won't even begin to describe what my floor looks like. Just take the image of the desk and multiply it by about....oh, I don't know! What's a reasonable number?.....46 billion and 32.

Lucky for me, I will be quitting this diseaster area and heading out west for the upcoming Canadian Thanksgiving. My curly-headed roommate's parents have invited me out to celebrate with them in Ontario, and I am more than delighted to go. I am ecstatic! These people are warm, kind, funny, hospitable, and wonderful cooks. Needless to say, I wish I were leaving now.

Of course, I cannot neglect to say that in the States it is Columbus Day....in some states anyway. Do the states that don't recognize Columbus Day have to go to work on Monday, then?

My Life's Soundtrack (or so they tell me)

In an obviously extremely desperate measure to procrastinate from doing my music theory assignment, I decided to do that stupid life soundtrack game. You know the one - You put your music player on shuffle and record the first number of songs, then they go in that order into the certain categories. Below is my life's soundtrack, apparently. It has a lot more Arrogant Worms , references to Saskatchewan and Yoko Ono than I would have thought.

Opening Credits:

We gotta get outta this place, The Animals

Waking up:

Nunavut, Arrogant Worms

First Day of School:

A Well Respected Man, The Kinks

Falling in Love:

Shiny Happy People, REM

Fight Song:

Pride and Joy, Stevie Ray Vaughn

Breaking Up:

Five Me Away, Badly Drawn Boy

Life is Good:

Feb. 14, Drive by Truckers

Mental Breakdown:

Stranger's Room, Yoko Ono

Driving:

The Pirate Saskatchewan, Arrogant Worms

Flashback:

Highway 61 Revisited, Bob Dylan

Getting Back Together:

Saskatchewan, Les Trois Accords

Wedding:

Why Can't the English?, From My Fair Lady Original London Cast

Final Battle:

Unfinished, Bare Naked Ladies

Death Scene:

The Murder, Psycho

Funeral:

Be My Yoko Ono, Bare Naked Ladies

End Credits:

Girl in the War, Josh Ritter

I see a few problems with this. First of all, why is my fight song "Pride and Joy"? Is it an ironic fight song? Maybe it is music is diagetic. If that is the case, I hope this battle takes place during a live concert.

My second problem is with "Saskatchewan" being my getting back together song. This song is about a woman cheating on her husband. She leaves him for "un gars de Regina"! This doesn't show much hope for the future of my relationship! Is this again perhaps an ironic song?

Also, why is my wedding song "Why Can't the English?" I mean, I get a kick out of this song, but why not a different song from My Fair Lady, or better yet, a song that is not a dialogue. This is just going to make things awkward.

There are a few songs that are just bizarre, like "Feb. 14" for my life is good song or "Unfinished" for my final battle. Did I not finish the battle? Maybe my opponent forfeited.....and left me to die, I guess. Also, why wake up to "Nunavut"?

Oddly appropriate is the Psycho music accompanying my death. Kind of creepy....Before leaving me, my opponent in this death match must have stabbed me repeatedly. I certainly hope my blood was chocolate syrup. Also, the Kinks' song for the first day of school is funny because it's true! oh. haha. I crack myself up. Oh suburbia.

Surely this is entertaining someone as much as it is me, and I wish I could continue, but Schubert's Impromptu in G-flat Major (D899) stubbornly refuses to analyze itself.

Classy Culture with Dick Johnson

A few days ago my lovely curly-headed roommate and I went on a spur of the moment culture field trip. As I was wandering aimlessly through the student society building, I ran into an extremely excited francophone woman who wanted to share with me the joys of the opera. I love the opera - at least what I had seen and heard up to this point. My previous opera experiences included an opera course taught at a castle in England, Rigoletto at The Royal Opera in London, and Don Giovanni at The Royal Opera. Tuesday was student night, which meant we could get tickets for 25$ each, a steal if you ask me. What did we get to see? Puccini's little known opera La Fanciulla del West, or, in English, The Girl of the Golden West.

It was not at all what I expected.

After dining at a favorite spot of ours, Cafe l'etranger, we headed to Place des Arts, still in our school attire and carrying our bags of books. There really wasn't time at all for us to go home and change, plus we thought it was student night, so there would be students there dressed like us. There were some young people in jeans carrying backpacks, but mostly it was older people wearing very nice clothing. Fortunately for them, our tickets were in the Balcon Impair, which meant we had to climb some stairs. Then climb some more stairs. The higher up we got, the surlier the ushers and the unclassier the decor. Eventually the stairway resembled somewhat of a carpeted emergency exit. Still, we had some pretty good seats on the edge of the balcony.

Behind us, however, were two student girls very much unlike us. My roomy and I were trained in the way of performance viewing, perhaps from our musical performance backgrounds. These girls, however, are the people you hate at the movie theatre. EVERYTHING required a comment or a giggle from them. EVERYTHING. While sometimes this was funny, like when the main character was really obviously cheating at cards by pulling them out of her sock and they had a discussion about whether or not she was cheating. Of course there were times when the ongoing not-quit-whispered dialogue was not funny, like when they talked about how they had never been to the opera before and they can't hear what anyone is saying and what's that and who's that and where are they going and when was this written and she looks stupid....etc.

Now you might be thinking, with a climactic card game scene, characters with strong names like Minnie, Jack Rance, and Dick Johnson (actual lines from the opera: "Dick! Forever Dick!" and "I'm tired of looking for your Johnson!"...probably not as funny in Italian) how could this opera go wrong? I admit that it was not at all what I expected and there seem to be some serious plot flaws, but I rather enjoyed it. Was it one of my favorite operas? Not even close. But I am happy that I saw it. In fact, I recommend you go see it right now. I'm sure your library has a recording.

And that was Ivy's night of cultured activities.

Socio Survey

I am currently working on a sociolinguistic research project about job titles. I admit that I say mailman, even though my mailman is actually a woman. Sure, I know that I should say mail carrier or postal worker or something gender neutral or politically correct, but I really love the word mailman. Others, like police officer, I prefer to use the gender neutral term. Of course, I occasionally use the waiter/waitress distinction, when I know I should use "server", but I'm ok with that.

So I am spending this lovely fall Sunday in my room, unshowered and still in my pajamas. I took a break and watched Aladdin on The Wonderful World of Disney, but now I am back in my room, eating cheese, drinking cream soda, and eagerly waiting for people to respond to my online survey. I fully realize that my survey is far from perfect. After a discussion with my prof, I revised it to look like this. While I still stubbornly believe that my way is superior, I figure he is the one with the PhD and actual work in the field, and I should listen to him. At least if this way has some major glitches, I can blame him, whereas if my way had some debilitating problems, he could just say, "I told you so!" and give me an F.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=O7Ejvc5xD83j61qzvoRIrw_3d_3d

I feel so technologically advanced using an online survey. In the past, I've been a real paper or at least microsoft word as an attachment type girl, but Future, here I come!

My cheese is gathering condesation at an alarming rate. Maybe it is more humid than I thought. I need to go eat it now.

A Splendiferous Evening Out

Yesterday I had a fabulous evening out with my fabulous friend, Lisa. We did many fabulous things in a few semi-fabulous places, but the most fabulous part of all, other than being with Lisa, was that it was all free!

We began our evening at the Linguistics lounge up on Dr. Penfield where SLUM was holding a linguistics students pizza party. After getting some drinks (I had a pepsi and Lisa had strawberry lemonade), we managed to snag a prime piece of pizza party realty - the blue couch in the corner. From this position, we could easily reach the pizza and napkins without standing up, place our drinks on tables, remain out of people's ways, and perhaps most importantly of all, we had an excellent view of the other present parties. I'd like to say that we were civilized, but that would be a lie. Secluded and unable to be overheard, we made some snarky comments about other people in our departments while munching on the chips and pizza in front of us. To be fair, we also said nice things about some people as well.

After dinner, we made a short trip to the McGill Bookstore where my fabulous curly-haired roommate works. She had won 2 tickets to a 7pm screening of "Choke", but was unable to attend because she had to work until 7:30. Lisa and I were happy to take those off her hands.

With still some time to kill, Lisa treated me to a caramel frappacino at Starbuck's. She had received a gift card, and, luckily for me, chose to share it. Sipping our sugary, caffeinated beverages, we chatted about linguistics and other academic and social matters of import.

We arrived at the theatre with plenty of time to spare, which just gave us time to read the free entertainment magazine, which is basically advertisements, but was amusing nonetheless. Then we saw the movie, which I will not discuss here only because I cannot decide whether I liked or disliked it.

Lisa kindly walked me to the bus stop afterwards, where we met my curly-haired roommate, coming home after her stint at the knitting club meeting. We three chatted for a bit, and then I rode the bus home and that was that.

All in all, it was a rather splendid and unexpected Thursday evening.

Angry! GRRR!

AHHHH!!!!!!!

After hours and hours of uninterrupted school work, job searching, and attempts at figuring out the grad school process, I have become increasingly rageful. My anger is not caused by anything in particular. Unfortunately, this means my anger is not directed at anything in particular and everything is causing me further stress and angst. A noisy car drives by my window, and I glare angrily out the window; my rug is scrunched up on the floor by my bed, so I call it stupid and kick it; my music becomes annoying, so I growl at my computer and turn off the tunes; the silence makes me angry, too, so I turn the music back on; my computer stalls for a second, so I begin frothing at the mouth and throwing myself up against the wall. Really, it is amazing my roommate and the two cats who are in the apartment with me right now can still stand me. The constant groaning, growling, moaning, incoherent mumbling and banging from throwing myself up against the wall has not alarmed them in any way yet.

Grrrr.....

Now I am frustrated because I don't have the patience to write anything of substance.

My new future plan is to drop out of college right now. Sure I only have part of a semester left, but screw it. I will then move into a large box in the woods by my parents' house. When my folks go to work, I will sneak into the house and eat and bath if necessary, then return back to my make-shift dwelling. It'll probably get pretty cold in the winter, and I'm sure I'll smell pretty terrible after a bit. I can deal with it.

I could just beat something! Nothing that could be alive, like a cat or a stuffed animal that is inanimate by day but certainly comes to life at night. You really don't want to upset the stuffed animals. If they really manage to come to life every night and party together, like I imagine they do, and are quiet enough to not wake me, I am certain they could kill me in my sleep if I were abusive. Don't judge me. I'm just covering my bases.

Excuse me as I go to half-heartedly watch some mindless television.

Schubert's Masterful Booger Imagery

I am currently working on a paper for my 19th century music analysis class. The subject of the paper is essentially "Schubert's 'Auf Dem Flusse': Seriously, what's up with measures 48-54?" Now, if you haven't heard this song, I strongly urge that you run out and listen to it right now. RIGHT NOW! GO! I'm sure your local library has a recording of it. Even if you don't have a library card, you can walk in and listen to the song, then leave. This method of "hit and run" library visiting is common especially among students. I know I am always running into the library between classes and listening to/reading/watching the first thing that comes up on the catalogue that day. Am I crazy? Do I need practice socializing with my peers? Do the librarians think I am a friendless girl who probably sleeps on the couches when the library closes? The answer is "yes" to all of these questions, and many, many more.

Anyway, the song is obviously in German, and the English translation provided seems to be sub par. Granted, I don't speak German, but you know how sometimes you just have the feeling that something is not quite right?

The song begins speaking of a "clear wild stream that rippled so gaily" that is now not so gay. Somehow the stream has been covered with "a hard, stiff crust". What is this crust? Do they mean ice? If it isn't ice, I think EPA or some other environmental group needs to be called to help this stream out! This crust is so thick and hard, that the person begins carving a list into it with a sharp stone. This list includes the date and hour of the carving, the name of his love, the date that the two met, the day he left his love, and a few designs surrounding this inscription. Again, what is this crust? I am imagining something along the line of one of those hard crust boogers...or dried puss.

I'm not even going to touch the part that I am supposed to be writing this paper on. I'm sure by now you have gone out and listened to the song and formed your own opinion anyway.

The Cat House

Today I made a cat house instead of reading about renaissance art and architecture.

I went to the grocery store hungry today and ended up buying approximately half the store. In a moment of decadence, I bought two kinds of cookies and three kinds of meat. As I pushed my cart towards the cash register, it became clear that I would have to have my smorgasbord delivered because there was no way I could carry it all home. Of course I never really intended to carry my groceries home, because I knew I would go a little overboard today. I think I should also note here that I spent enough that I got two free heads of broccoli.

The groceries were delivered while I was making some soda bread, so my hands were all sticky and I couldn't unpack them right away. When I eventually did get around to unpacking them, Mr. Claws and Pistache, my roommates cats, excitedly helped me, hoping to get a bit of salami, cheese, or whatever else they could grab while I had the fridge door open. Mr. Claws then decided to sit in the empty box. Sitting up straight with a look of superiority, it was clear the box was no longer mine. Just for kicks, I picked up Pistache and put him in as well. The two-cats-in-a-box plan lasted less than 2 minutes before Mr. Claws evacuated leaving Pistache alone with a look of smug self satisfaction. Sometimes the two tolerate each other, but mostly they argue and let their annoyance with each other be generally known.

This gave me an idea, and later that day I took out a giant knife from the kitchen and went into our little library. Here I stabbed and sawed at the big cardboard box. I managed to make a normal cat sized door and a Pistache-Legros-sized entrance that can be open and closed. Feeling creative, I cut out windows and holes at different heights and of different shapes and sizes. Since I am perhaps one of the clumsiest, unluckiest people still alive, it is truly a miracle that I did not cut off a finger, let alone fatally stab myself. To make the cat house homier, I put an old folded towel in the back, then hung some strings from the ceiling and placed some toys inside.

I managed to lure Mr. Claws in with a cat toy tied to a string, and he figured out the purpose of the cat house pretty quick, whereas Pistache was confused and only entered when clearly given the enticement of cat treats.

My roommates seem fairly pleased with my project, and we have plans to decorate both the inside and outside of the cat house and perhaps even add another level (for Mr. Claws only).