Proud Esawal Teacher

As you know, I teach English as a Second Language, which in my district is called something different and is shortened to ESOL, where you have to say all four letters.

Today, one of my first graders got in trouble with me for using unkind words. Later in the morning, I went into the little room with the floor space and my desk to see a tiny note on the white board that read:

I'm sarry. I love you. I love Esawal.

It pretty much made my day. I guess we need to talk again about what the name of my class is.

How My Life is Perceived by 2nd Graders

My second grade students have been practicing the complex, plot-twist-filled, action packed play of "Ana and the Greedy Giant" in two small groups. I informed them today that I was going to try to borrow a camcorder or buy one tonight to record their performances tomorrow. Then I asked them, "Why do you think I want to record your performances?"

In his most sincere, loving way, one of my students raised his hands and said:

Well, Ms. McDougalhopper, you're not married. When you are old and alone some day in your home, you will want to watch the play and remember the students you used to love.

The answer I was looking for was something along the lines of, "So we can see ourselves perform", "to compare the groups' performances", "to check on our fluency", or whatever. What I got was something much more insightful and depressing. I do love my students, though.

Lesson on Cause and Effect for Big People

Today in third grade we talked about cause and effect. Some key points are as follows:

*Cause is what happens first. It answers the WHY of the effect.

*Effect is what happens second. It happens because of what happened earlier.

*When we use the word "so", the cause comes first and the effect second.

*When we use the word because, the effect comes first and the cause comes second.

*One cause can have many, many effects.

We did a couple of SMART lessons on cause and effect, then we did some Ms. McDougalhopper specific ones. What happens if Ms. McDougalhopper spills her tea? The students had some very interesting ideas for possible effects to my life, some more alarming than others.

Cause: Ms. McDougalhopper spills her tea.

Effect #1: She makes a mess on the floor.
Effect #2: She has to clean up her mess and it makes her late for a meeting.
Effect #3: She becomes crabby.
Effect #4: She is crabby and late, so she loses her job.
Effect #5: She ruins her new clothes.
Effect #6: She cries.
Effect #7: She becomes horribly dehydrated and has to go to the Mayo clinic.

Some of those effects have causes and effects right in them, but you get the point. The third grade students were really getting the concept.

Now is your turn to practice. Remember what we learned above. See if you can match the cause to the effect.

Cause	Effect
1.       1. I spilled my tea.	A.      I order a medium size pizza with garlic bread and eat it all myself.
2.      2.  My car needs an oil change.	B.      I take two “headache formula” pills and chug a Coke.
3.      3.  I burn my dinner.	C.      I lost my job.
4.      4.  I have a headache.	D.      I try to avoid morning showers.
5.       5. My alarm goes off at 5:45.	E.       I go to the meeting.
6.       6. The shower head is broken.	F.       I ignore the light until the car sputters and spurts.
7.      7.  I don’t want to go to a meeting.	G.     I hit snooze and pull the covers over my head.

Prepo-Preposition

Today I heard this song numerous times with my fifth graders:



There are some errors in the typed lyrics, but that was fine. Can you guess what we are studying right now in our fifth grade ESOL and intervention grammar groups? Did you guess prepo-prepositions? Then you are correct.

It was amazing to see some of the students who don't usually engage perk right up and sing along. Also, we did this kind of as an intro before taking our notes, and the kids were adding things to the definition and answering questions before the information was even on the board. It is always impressive, even though I myself studied in college and still memorize things today by turning it all into made-up songs, how much people can remember and learn from music.

My little brother (who isn't little) is looking to get his MA in music therapy and focus on using music to help Alzheimer's and dementia patients with memory through the use of music. Yesterday while volunteering, a patient who is never coherent, though sweet as sugar, knew all the words to every single Christmas carol we sang.

Music, my friends, is incredible. In fact, it is so fantastico.

Latkes and Loved Ones Make Me Sleepy

I'm as happy as can be because I got most of my work done and had a pleasant weekend with Mr. Sturm and my family. Then, I came home and had a delicious, overly large, excessively fancy for Sunday night meal consisting of the following:

1 glass of peach iced tea
1/3 bag frozen steam in the bag green beans
1 side dish of chunky applesauce
2 potato latkes
1 Trader Joe's Smoked, Apple Chardonnay chicken sausage
2 S'mashing S'mores

Now I am happy on a ridiculously full stomach, sprawled out in my sweats, deciding if it is worth the effort to get off the couch and into my bed.

What I'm Thankful For (2011)

As I sit on my couch eating rather stale Tootsie Rolls I found in a plastic baggie at the back of the shelves in the kitchen, it is taking both of my arms and one of my legs to fend off my overly affectionate cat. Since I was out of town for (American) Thanksgiving, she apparently missed me and insists on sitting on my neck or face or shoulder or something, even though I am sitting bolt upright. If you use your imagination, you can see where we might be having some problems.

But other than fending off Squeaky, I also have a couple of minutes to belatedly devote to thinking about what I am thankful for. As an elementary school teacher, I am going to present them to you second-grade-style using standard sentence stems. You'll need to continue using your imagination and pretend that each of the following sentences is written on a construction paper turkey feather sticking out every-which-way from a lopsided construction paper turkey.

I am thankful for my decent health and strength which allows me to work, play, and live comfortably.

I am thankful for my family who supports me and tries their best to understand me.

I am thankful for my friends who make me laugh, counsel me, and take me just the way I am.

I am thankful for a cat who is healthy even in her old age and who brings such entertainment, love, and humor to my little apartment.

I am thankful for my job which every day brings challenges of different sorts, provides me with my living, and gives me the opportunity to interact with and learn from some amazing people.

I am thankful for my students who amaze me, make me laugh, make me proud, and even make me adore them when they have me pulling my hair out and twitching.

I am thankful for a safe, comfortable home where food is always available.

I am thankful for my sense of humor, because without it, life would be much more difficult than it needs to be.

I am thankful for the man who loves me, who makes me laugh, reminds me it is alright to slow down every once and a while, and seems to think that I am someone special. In fact, he does a rather good job making me feel that, despite my quirks, I am a good person.

I am thankful for the ability to play the piano as it brings me and (occasionally) my family such joy.

I am thankful for literature, because without books, I would be lost. As the cover to my nook says, "Books are a finer world within the world", though they are no replacement for your own life, rather to be used as an enhancement.

I am thankful for the educational opportunities I have had that have helped shape me as a professional, educator, permanent student, citizen, and human being.

I am thankful that I am alive because even the days I spend more time crying than laughing couldn't be traded for anything better.

Because I'm Awesome (#6)

• I have had chocolate cake for breakfast every day this week. I'm single, in my twenties, and there was chocolate cake on the counter.
• At 8:15 I made the decision to get in the shower in five minutes. That way I would have time to take a leisurely shower, let my hair dry a bit before bed, not be rushed in the morning, and still get to do my bedtime calm-down routine at a reasonable hour. It is now 8:57.
• Since I was too lazy to walk to the bedroom and get a pillow, I am using the armrest to support my head and neck as I sprawl on the couch. It is not comfortable at all. In fact, I may not be able to move my neck when I finally get up, but whatever. I don't think I really use my neck, anyway.
• I talked to my mom on the phone twice today. I also talked to her yesterday.
• After school, I hid from all of my colleagues so that I could have quiet work time and sit unlady-like on a chair while I corrected tests. 
• Now that the chocolate cake is gone, I am a little worried about finding a suitable breakfast tomorrow. I will probably have to eat something like cereal or oatmeal. Who am I kidding? I'll probably have something like cheese and crackers, marshmallows, or chips and salsa. Maybe there will be cupcakes or cookies in the lounge tomorrow at work. As long as they are nut-free, I can sometimes snag a breakfast of champions while I make my copies in the morning.

4th Graders Saving the Environment

I was recently grading the 4th grade Unit 1 science test about the environment, and I learned more correcting the tests than I did teaching and preparing. The unit was a hodge-podge of food webs, ecosystems, and pollution.

The second page of the test had only two questions on it. One asked students to list five serious threats to the environment, and the other question asked five ways to protect, preserve, or save the environment. The idea was that the number one item on the first list would correspond with the number one reason on the second, but I wasn't too picky about that.

Below are some of my favorite fourth grade ideas. Hopefully you enjoy them as much as I do.

Serious Threats to the Environment:

• misqitos (mosquitos)
• people stepping on plants
• animals dying outside
• You have to wear a mask in the street.

Ways to Preserve, Protect, or Save the Environment:

• Don't kill bats.
• Stop stepping on flowers.
• No crashing boats.
• Don't throw sugar in the water.
• Die.

"Animal Parts" Just Sounds Kind of Gruesome

My first grade students and I started our "Here Come the Animals!" unit on Thursday. Last year when I taught this unit, I had a full-size classroom with multiple whiteboards, so I used one of those whiteboards and drew several animals and labeled the parts. The plus side of this was that I could erase, change, and quiz the kids. The downside was, of course, that other classes and even my other, older classes were obsessed with erasing bits and parts of the animals so that I was constantly redrawing the turtle's leg, the cat's head, etc.

This year, since I teach in what used to be an office space and share with a couple of colleagues, we do not have the luxury of writing things on the board and leaving them there for two weeks. Still, I wanted the animals with their labeled parts posted somewhere in the room. Unfortunately, this meant I had to make a poster. The plus side is that no one is going to erase parts of the animals. The downside is that I cannot redraw or unlable things as needed. Also, I had to choose a heading and stick with it.

My heading choices, as far as I could figure, were "Animal Parts" or "Parts of Animals", but the more I thought about either of these choices, the more I became convinced that they were both gruesome. Whenever I said one of the possible headers in my head, my mind automatically conjured up gory images of disconnected, bloody stumps of animal legs, paws, wings, and beaks floating in space. Some might say I need psychiatric help, but really I just try to head off issues with my students.

It was eventually decided that "Parts of Animals" was far less gory, and the project was begun. Because I am lucky enough to have an awesome boyfriend, he spent about two hours today working with me on this poster. Sprawled out on the hardwood floor with markers, books, and pencils, we worked hard to represent different animals and include decent animal part vocabulary. Fortunately for me, Mr. Sturm is a much better artist than I am. Unfortunately for me, Mr. Sturm is a much better artist than me, and he saw me draw. The last animal we put on the poster was the bear, and I was having such a hard time (Too fat. Not fat enough. Why does he have his legs like that? He looks part lion. etc.), Mr. Sturm took the pencil and completed the back half and the face of the bear.

Take a look at the poster below and see if you can tell which animals I drew and which Mr. Sturm drew. The bear was part me, mostly him, but other than that, I drew four, he drew three, and we both worked on one other.

Give up? Answers below:

Cat: McDougalhopper
Dog: McDougalhopper
Horse: Sturm
Bird: Sturm
Duck: Sturm
Elephant: McDougalhopper
Fish: McDougalhopper
Turtle: Joint effort. The reason he looks like he has been run over can be credited to me.

I'm lucky to have someone who is just as happy to draw animals on a poster with me as go out. I'm also lucky (and so are my students) that he happens to be a decent drawer. My elephant is pretty good though, right? I'm pretty proud of that slightly crazed elephant.

In other news, I got flowers!

Take Pity on my ASL Teachers

Tonight on Halloween, only seven people showed up to our ASL on the go community education class. With only four teachers, this meant we had plenty of time to ask questions and practice. We met at Barnes and Noble at the Apache Mall, and Denise, David, and I started with the interpreter and Julie in the music section. We did not really learn about music so much as park ourselves down in the corner and learn signs such as "school", "educate", "chemistry", "history", etc. that have to do with education.

After that, my group of three was sent to Stacy and Greg over in the children's section where Greg sat in the King Chair on the stage, and the rest of us sat on the teeny-tiny benches around him. We practiced verbs and whatnot dealing with communication. Then, Greg read us a story about a Frog and a Toad going sledding. It was kind of cute.

At the end of class, Greg was going to sign and perform a song with the music (for the benefit of us hearing people), but we had to find the other group before he could start. As we were wandering around, I decided to try to talk to Stacy, who seems like a nice person. Unfortunately for Stacy, I am not at all good at sign language. Fortunately for me, Stacy is very patient.

Our conversation went something as follows:

Me: Where work you?
Stacy: (something) work (something something)
Me: Work where?
Stacy: (something something) not work (something) live farm (something about parents) work students one on one (something) hearing (something something)
Me: Ok. You have what farm A-N-I-TNM-A
Stacy: 2 (something)
Me: 2.....
Stacy: 2 (something.....something....SOMETHING)
me: D-O-N-??? H-O-R-GHA-S.....H-R-.... H-O-R-S-E?
Stacy: Yes. (something something) dead (something) horse (something) sleep (something) horse.

Me: (Sad face trying to express regret at what I think is the loss of her two horses)

Stacy: I have 14 farm cats. They live outside (something something). (Something something something).

Me: I like cats. You more cats. More cats?....not more cats....A-L-O-T (What I meant was, "you have a lot of cats.")
Stacy: I have chickens. (Something)

Me: Chickens? You eat eggs? Eggs?

Stacy: Yes. I eat the eggs. They are delicious.

Me: You eat chickens?

Stacy: I eat chicken eggs. (something)

Me: You eat chickens?

Stacy: I eat chicken eggs. Chicken (something something something) brown not good white good (something something) chicken (something something) egg (something) Eggs are good.

Me: I like chicken. Eat chicken.

Stacy: I have cats in the house and two dogs in the house.

Me: I have one cat. No more. I have one fish. No more. No more. Not noisy my house. Me. No more.

Stacy: (something) house (something)?

Me: Restroom? No....R-R-......Rochester?

Stacy: house? Apartment?

Me: Apartment. Me teacher. (Remembering I think she lives with her parents or maybe her grandpa) Two happy new years before me live mom dad house.

Stacy: That saves money. Apartments are expensive.

Me: Yes. But now not mom dad house. Me. No more.

Stacy: Living alone is expensive.

Me: I teacher Rochester. Mom Dad house Twin....(something, probably something obscene)

Stacy: Twin Cities?

Me: Mom Dad house Twin Cities.

Stacy: That is a long drive.

And so on and so forth. Poor Stacy was probably wondering why I was asking her these questions and telling her these inane details of my life. Really, I just wanted to practice, and I love watching her expressions as she signs. Also, she is pretty low-key and patient. Maybe I will practice and prepare some sentences and questions to bombard her with next week for the last class.

At the end of class, Greg performed and signed along with "Hotel California", which was really very cool. He is very dramatic, and it was exciting to see signs I knew and try to catch new ones. His rhythm was really quite good, and the whole time I had a huge smile plastered on my face. When I wasn't watching Greg, I was watching Julie as she smiled and showed her delight in Greg's performance. I have heard this song several times before and know it by heart. Julie has never heard it before.

Busy Fall Playlist

This fall has been a busy one, especially between work and the developments in my romantic relationship with the handsome Mr. Sturm. I seem to not have enough time to go out for nachos with friends, do my dishes, or even hang the pictures back on the wall that have been sitting on my living room floor since I painted in August.

Still, this fall has been a good one, and I am feeling stressed, but confident and happy, so I have compiled a playlist to enjoy on an autumn day. The days are getting shorter and colder, the leaves are falling off the trees and crunching under your feet when you walk, work demands every waking minute from Monday to Friday, but the weekends are yours.

Manic Monday - The Bangles
This classic off of The Bangles’ album “Different Life” was played quite often during my childhood. I’ve been thinking recently about the cassette tapes that were played repeated as a child, and this was one of them. I often feel like Manic Mondays aren’t necessarily on Mondays, and I disagree that Sunday is the fun day. It really all depends on the week. Still, the sentiment is accurate, even if Susanna Hoff’s Manic Monday is my average day, plus it is incredibly catchy and fun to sing along with. Sometimes I imagine I have shoulder pads, hoop earrings, and awesome bangs.

Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
This song always brings me back to 6^th grade English class with my teacher, “H”. He used to play music rather loudly while we  did our independent work. While he played many different songs, he really cranked this one and Sugar Ray’s “Every Morning”. All around, this is a good song, whether looked at musically, emotionally, or lyrically. In fact, Chris Martin from Coldplay was, on the record, heard saying that he wished he had written this fabulous song.

I Put a Spell on You - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Halloween is nearly upon us, and so I put a spell on you, my friends. Now you are all mine. Just try to listen to this song without singing along and doing dramatic, slightly witch-like hand gestures. I dare you.

Crimson & Clover - Tommy James & The Shondells
While perhaps on the long side, this is an excellent song. Also, if you are looking to learn the lyrics to about five minutes worth of music, this song is the song for you. There really are not that many words. Still, it is fun to listen to and sing along with, and even my music-listening-in-the-car-ADD can be staved off, despite the repetitiveness. Might I also recommend the Jimmy Eat World rendition?

Young Folks - Peter Bjorn and John
I wish I could still whistle, but after the unfortunate rollerblading accident several years ago, alas I cannot. Still, when alone, I pretend to whistle along to this or replace the whistling with “doo”s and puckered lips, which is almost as effective.

Don't Bring Me Down - ELO
 Mr. Sturm is convinced that there is no word after the “Don’t bring me down!” part, but I disagree. I’m pretty sure they are either saying “Grrrrrruuussss!” or possibly “Bruce!”, and I am also completely convinced that it is an integral, intentional, important part of the song. One day, it will just come to me, then I will know the secret of life.

Hot Blooded  - Foreigner
Poor Mr. Sturm had to hear part of my off-key, ear-damaging rendition of this song this past weekend. It had been a little too long since I had last eaten, and I was getting a little slap-happy, so I was singing this and being goofy. Politely, he asked me, “What is that from?” To which I responded, “From? It is a song by ‘Foreigner’! Can’t you tell?” When I resumed singing, he concluded, “We need to get some more food into you.” That’s how I got caramel brownies.

Keep Your Hands to Yourself - The Georgia Satellites
While not really a country music fan, nor do I believe the whole “getting the milk for free” thing, I enjoy this song a ridiculous, almost embarrassing amount. Best cranked to an almost uncomfortable volume, the sing-alonger must mimic the inflection and vocal tics of the singer in order to truly enjoy the experience. It is also really important to kind of act out the parts. For example, when he says, “That’s when she started talkin’ about true love, started talkin’ about sin,” the sing-alonger must put their hands out and place an incredulous, almost confused look on their face.
Oh man, is this a fun song. 

Let's Spend the Night Together - The Rolling Stones

The Rolling Stones need to make most playlists. I really quite enjoy The Rolling Stones, and some of my favorites don’t really belong on this particular list. I am getting what I want, I can get some satisfaction, I am not a Honky Tonk Woman, and I don’t need anyone to give me shelter, I’ve got that taken care of, thank you very much. And so, I can focus on other things. And after all, “This doesn’t happen to me every day. Let’s spend the night together. No excuses offered, anyway.”

Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingford
The first time I heard this song, I did not like it. The second time I heard this song, I still did not like it. Somehow, I managed to hear it enough times that it has wormed its way into my heart. And you know what? I do. I do have a pocketful of sunshine and a love that is all mine, so there.

You Don't Know How it Feels - Tom Petty
You don’t know how it feels. You don’t know how it feels – to be me. While I am not about to go roll a joint, I do love to sing the chorus if I am mildly frustrated. Just get to the point already! Come on, people!

You Always Make Me Smile - Kyle Andrews
 This happy song is fun to listen to in the parking lot at work before going in. While Mr. Sturm does not wear colorful gym shoes (in fact, he wears black, non-tennis shoes), nor is his hair particularly messy (unless I’m purposely messing it up), it still reminds me of him because he always makes me smile. And smiling is good. Smiling is fun. Smiling makes you happier and want to smile even more.


Enjoy your sweater weather!

Adventures in ASL

In an attempt to be more social, work fewer hours, and keep my mind and body active, I am again participating in the wonderful world of community education. This semester, I am taking Yoga I for an hour and a half every Thursday and American Sign Language on the Go ever Monday. Let me assure you that this combination has my mind and body increasing in flexibility already.

The ASL class is basically an introductory class to get people interested in the real, more expensive, academic course. Over the course of six weeks, we go on mini-field trips around the city and learn specific vocabulary. We have gone to the mall, Fleet Farm, and Hy-Vee so far. We are going to go to a book store, Best Buy, and somewhere else that I forgot.

These locations lend themselves to fun, hands-on learning, but it also means that I have a very bizarre vocabulary in ASL. I cannot say basic things like, "How much does this cost?" Or even, "I am hungry." Or, "How old are you?" However, I can say things like, "I must rotate my tires and change my oil today." And, "I don't like that ugly, grey, fake squirrel fur coat." Or, "I want a diamond belt buckle for my dog." When I would have to say these things to a Deaf person, I have no idea, but I can say them.

Whenever one of the four teachers shows us a sign, we all repeat it, then they move on to the next part of the store. Behind them, we're all mumbling to ourselves and signing a bunch of signs. For example, last week at Fleet Farm, one of the teacher showed us the sign for "furniture", then turned her back to us to lead us to the furniture section. She turned around to make sure we were following, and we were all practicing. If I were her, I would have laughed because I would see a passle of adults all saying, "Furniture. Furniture. Furniturefurniture. Furniturefurniturefurniture. Furniture." And today, we learned a bunch of random signs in a row, and I was practicing as I was following one of the teachers. How he managed to keep a straight face as I said, "Bear. Pillow. Popcorn. Bath. Diamond ring. Coffee. Make more coffee now. Squirrel. Ugly. Ugly belt buckle. WOW!" is beyond me. I bet the four teachers go home and tell their families about their crazy, rambling students.

Now I am going to go talk to myself in the shower.

Furniture. Bubbles. Soap. Cheese. Paper. Paper towel......

(Almost) Beautiful Compliments

As an elementary teacher, I get many backhanded compliments from my students. Below are just a small sampling of some of my favorites.

"Ms. McDougalhopper, you look beautiful.....today."

"Ms. McDougalhopper, you look like you're sixteen."

"I know you are really old because you are so smart."

"Hey! You brushed your hair today!"

"Why you wear that? I like red."

(As I'm walking down the hallway cleaning my glasses) "Ms. McDougalhopper, I like you with your glasses on."
Thank you. 
"Yeah. You look really weird without your glasses."

Super Awesome Facts

To balance things out from my disgustingly feelings-related, mushy, lovey-dovey post yesterday, I am going to try to make a super awesome facts post. To find these super awesome facts, I used the very scientific method of typing "super awesome facts" into google, then taking the top fact from the first ten pages that came up. Please note that because these facts are super awesome, I have not, nor do I intend to, do any sort of research or fact checking to make sure they are credible. Believe the following 10 super awesome facts at your own peril.

1. Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.
2. There was no punctuation until the 15th century.
3. Facebook's stock is apparently worth 5,600 billion dollars.
4. ROBLOX has made about seven hundred ninety three "useless" trailers for their video games. I don't know what ROBLOX is, but you should know the next statement after that fact was, " And boy, do they lie!"
5. The average human adult has 206 bones, while the average human child has 300 because bones fuse together as we grow.
6. Groupon's business model is facing scrutiny.
7. The phrases "super fun" and "communist" are not compatible.
8. Bio-reactivity research about Kava is hard to come by.
9. Despite going into the playoffs as the #6 seed, the Green Bay Packers were the favorite for the 2011 Super Bowl.
10. If you put Saturn in a giant tub of water, it would float.

Mm-hmm. A More than Mushy Post (Barf)

It was my full intent to write this evening about the Minnesota Opera's production of Cosi Fan Tutte, but unfortunately for you, my mind is elsewhere. The show was good, and I'd love to discuss the disturbing staging choices that were less funny and instead made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but instead my mind is focused on the company I held this weekend.

As you are probably aware, Mr. Sturm accompanied me to the opera, but he also watched a movie with me Friday night, went for a walk with me on Saturday afternoon, and his whole family came over for the experimental trial run of the outdoor oven today. If mushy things make you want to barf, you should probably stop reading, or maybe get a bucket or garbage can closer to you.

At one point over the weekend, we were all curled up, snuggling, talking about this and that, and I was getting more and more tired. When Mr. Sturm informed me that it was late, and time to get up, I glanced at my watch. I certainly didn't disagree. It was late, and I was half asleep as it was. Still, I kind of ignored him the first time.

So we talked a while longer, and when the end of our time was mentioned again, I couldn't deny it, and I had already ignored the first warning, so I gave him a sleepy, "Mm-hmm."

"I know that 'mm-hmm'," he told me.

The smile on his face and the tone of voice he used as he gave me a quick squeeze took me a little off guard. I loved the way he responded to my sleepy "mm-hmm". Needless to say, it made me want to let go even less.

Numerous times over the last year I have referenced how living by myself has made me weirder and weirder. Without a roommate, significant other, or family members to keep me in check, I've really developed some bizarre habits, and I've kind of let my crazy run free. I might have the coffee table a mess, but every day the piano books are stacked exactly right when I'm done playing. I might not make my bed, but all the bottles and containers in the shower go in certain spots. I may wear real clothes to work, but I rarely wear all the clothes one would require to be seen by another person when at home. I eat food off the floor, sing out of key at the top of my lungs, have ice cream for breakfast, eat two dinners, hit the snooze button three times, and leave books on every surface in the apartment. I talk to myself, dance around, make weird faces, use the stove top to go through important paperwork, and can dirty every mug in the cupboard somehow.
 
So far, he has not been phased by anything, but I often wonder what the tipping point would be? I am not a good liar, and I am a pretty open person. Honestly, he makes me very comfortable and I am myself around him. I guess I'm not worried that he'll discover that I'm a weirdo. I'm more worried that I'm not so worried about it.

But for now, I'm going to continue enjoying this feeling of contentment and daydream about that smile.

Swing Low, You Amazing Battle Hymn of Daisy Doodle!

As you may or may not know, I volunteer once a week and get to spend some time with some truly amazing retired sisters of St. Francis. It is my job to entertain them for a little over an hour on Tuesday nights. Usually, my partner and I do this with read-alouds, trivia questions, completing proverbs or sayings, or playing games, like kicking around a beach ball while naming ice cream toppings, kinds of birds, or the states.

Most of the games we play consist of us throwing bean bags at things. Sometimes we throw bean bags at a multi-colored rug where each color has a points value. Sometimes we try to throw the bean bags into a bucket. My favorite is when we throw bean bags at plastic bowling pins.

Last week we played the game "How many sisters does it take to knock down 10 pins?" Each sister got to throw the bean bag once, then it was passed to the next sister in the circle. The first time we played, we went around the circle many times, and the answer to our question was "21". Rest assured, however, that we got much better, especially when we started letting each sister throw three bean bags on each turn.

In an attempt to mix it up, and because the sisters enjoy singing so much, I have borrowed "The Geri-Tones" song book (I could not make this up, friends) to practice at home. Downstairs neighbor must think I'm insane because he has heard 30 minutes of the following line-up for the last several days:

"Hail, Hail The Gang's All Here" (1917)

"Yankee Doodle" (1770's)

"Amazing Grace" (1835)

"Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" (1857)

"O! Dear! What Can the Matter Be?" (1792)

"I've Been Working on the Railroad"

"Battle Hymn of the Republic" (1862)

"Daisy Bell" (1892)

Downstairs Neighbor and all the neighbors probably think some old lady is living up here. This musical repetiore is certainly not helping me fight the wide-spread belief that I, Ivy McDougalhopper, am an old lady.

Do you think Ludacris or Black Eyed Peas or someone that cool people listen to make piano arrangements?

Shameless Plug

My good friend Kyle recently joined a band called The Nonsense Doctors where he "slaps some bass". (I really love the movie "I Love You, Man".) . Last night, I went to go see them at the Brunswick Zone in Lakeville, MN. They were fabulous.

Check them out on their facebook page here, watch their youtube clip below, and then go see them play whenever you can!



Please note that Kyle is not in that video clip, but he's super awesome, and so is the band, so I'm sure more recent clips will be posted soon!

Knowledge is the Tickle Monster

Today with some third graders I was reading "What About Me" by Ed Young out of our Scott Foresman curriculum books. The story is about a boy who wants knowledge, so he goes to the wise man. The wise man tells the boy he cannot impart knowledge to him until he gets a rug. So the boy goes to buy a rug, but the rug maker needs thread, and the boy goes off to get some thread. Unfortunately for him, the spinner needs goat hairs to make the thread, so off the boy goes to the goatherd, who is kind of a jerk, quite frankly, and won't give the boy any goat hairs until he has a wooden pen for his goats. Then the boy goes to a carpenter who won't build the pen unless he gets a wife because he is lonely and the women in town "won't have" him.

To be honest, maybe the carpenter is unmarried and undesirable to women because he is kind of creepy and inappropriate. A child comes up to him and asks him to build a wooden pen, and the man replies that he will only if the boy can get him woman. That is no way to do business with children!

But anyway, I'm sure you can see how the story progresses without me retelling the entire thing. Now I am going to spoil the ending though, so if you're planning on running out and buying this book to read, please stop now. The boy eventually gets his rug and shows up to the wise man's place, demanding his knowledge. The wise man is all wise and annoying, telling the boy that he has already gained more knowledge than the man could ever give him just by sitting down and lecturing.

While I can't quote it exactly since the book isn't in front of me, I'll tell you that the moral of the story was two fold:
1. Sometimes it is better to give than to receive.
2. Knowledge comes to you when you least expect it.

Explaining the first moral to third graders was not difficult, since they've been hearing it year in and year out for about 9 years of their lives. The second moral was trickier.

The third grade teacher and I were trying to use student friendly language and analogies that were meaningful to our students without "dumbing down" the content. As we watched the blank looks on the 32 kids' faces become even blanker, we began squishing up our faces, trying desperately to come up with new ways to explain it.

All of a sudden, one boy sits bolt up right. His face lights up and he exclaims, "Oh! I get it!" The teacher and I are on the edge of our seats, "Yes, go on!" she says.

"Sometimes, my grandpa turns into the tickle monster. Usually, he is just Grandpa, but sometimes he becomes a tickle monster and chases me and my sister around and tickles us until we can't laugh anymore. My grandpa always says that the tickle monster will get you when you least expect it!"

There you have it, friends. Knowledge is like the tickle monster. In fact, who is to say that knowledge and tickle monsters are not synonymous. They do both, as it seems, come to you when you least expect it.

An Important Part of My Childhood I Nearly Forgot

Remember Mr. Yuk? Mr. Yuk was an important part of my childhood that I nearly forgot. They used to pass of dozens, possibly hundreds (alright, maybe I exaggerate), of these stickers to us in elementary school. If I remember correctly, and I probably don't, Mr. Yuk was tied to a health unit that was repeated every year in elementary school, much like the bus safety unit (which I fully intend on discussing at a later date).

It was made very clear that we shouldn't ever drink window cleaner, toilet bowl cleaner, or bleach, let alone mix them together into some kind of potent cleaning cocktail no matter how much the colors of these liquids resembled Kool-Aid. But liquids were not the only thing addressed. Children were also discouraged from chewing on urinal cakes, feces, brillo pads, and kitty litter. Then, just to make sure we could have no fun at all, I seem to remember my first grade teacher spending probably more time than should have been necessary explicilty instructing a room full of six year olds not to lick the outlets. That may or may not have happened. First grade was a long time ago.

This year I am co-teaching fourth grade science, social studies, and health, and, much to my disappointment, I have not seen a Mr. Yuk unit. Do you think they don't teach this unit anymore because kids have gotten smarter? Even if that is so, I am convinced it is because we used to be more inquisitive and active. We weren't stupid, drinking Kablam! because it was purple like grape Kool-Aid. No. We were little scientists, curious to see if, when mixed with Windex, Kablam! was a suitable substitute for Kool-Aid when the parents were too busy to mix some up for us. As for licking outlets, my friend Linnea would say that is a self-correcting behavior.

After learning about how consuming or licking all these things was bad for us and would cause us to turn green and keel over dead, we were given sheets and sheets of these Mr. Yuk stickers and instructed to go home, tell our parents about everything we learned, then stick these things all over the house.

Looking back on it, I am surprised more parents didn't become irate when their children started putting stickers all over everything. Sales of Goo-Gone were probably quite good when I was a kid. I wonder if Goo-Gone stock has plummeted since they've stopped handing the Mr. Yuk stickers out in the public schools.

Here is a pretty awesome commercial I cam across. Now, I wasn't even born when it aired, so it isn't technically something important from my childhood that I nearly forgot, but it is pretty awesome, so you should enjoy: