Games and The Search for Pants: Part 1

As part of the population that celebrates Christmas, I have been enjoying quite a bit of family time lately. Luckily, I really enjoy playing games, especially board games. Below is a brief description of the games played so far this holiday season.

1. Othello: My sister received this two-person board game for Christmas because my folks want her to play more strategy games. Apparently we need to work on thinking ahead. Much like the slogan for the game boasts, it takes only a moment to learn, but much longer to master. While my sister is pretty disinterested in the game, I have become hooked. I keep challenging my brother and my sister to games, and usually it is the brother that agrees to play with me. He usually wins, too. I keep testing to see what happens if I do something, and it seems that most of my queries end with me losing many of my color on the board. Still, I am fascinated, and I may have to go out and buy my own copy of this game next week. Too bad I don't really have anyone in Rochester to play this with.

2. Pictophone: My family played this game New Year's Eve with the Sturm family, and boy did we have fun! This party game, where there are no winners and losers, just endless bouts of hilarity, was introduced to me by a lovely young woman named Christine. She instantly won me over with this game, and if played correctly, can end with everyone laughing so hard they are crying. Naturally, with my dad and Eugene playing, we got a lot of unnecessarily complicated sentences. And with mine and my dad's artistic abilities, we ended up with some really questionable pictures. At one point, Martin looked at my father and asked, "Why do all your animals look like cows?" Most of his animals did look like cows, except one that was supposed to look like a cow. That one looked like a decaying rabbit.

3. Catapulting Horseshoes: I purchased this game today on clearance in the men's clothing section of Macy's. Originally $40, it was a steal for $8. The game is pretty simple. You have a little catapult, and you launch weighted foam horseshoes at the other person's catapult, placed 6-8 feet away. If your horseshoe lands within 6 inches you get 1 point. When I played with Andrew, we just eyeballed it. When I played with my brother, he pulled out a ruler and insisted that it be exactly 6" or less. If your horseshoe lands touching the other catapult, you get two points, and if your horseshoe successfully goes around the catapult, you get a whopping three points. The thing about this game is that it is ridiculously hard to aim. We ended up with foam horseshoes going every which way. As the man at the cash register excitedly pointed out when I bought the game, it could pretty easily be turned into a team drinking game.

I would love to put a picture of the game here, but I can't seem to find one.

The Search for Pants: Part 1

For Christmas, I asked for some gym pants. In an effort to be more social, meet people my age, and get more in shape, I am participating in activities in my community left and right! I am participating in a book club that meets one Monday a month. This should be a lot of fun, however, I realize I probably won't be meeting a lot of people my age, and since it is a book club I joined through work, I probably won't be meeting a lot of folks that don't work in my building. It is my goal in life right now to make non-work friends.

This means that I needed more activities away from work. As you may remember, I do volunteer at the local old-folks nunnery (I am aware that that phrasing may be slightly blasphemous), but believe it or not, there are not a lot of people who want to be my friend there. There was that one woman that one time, but I was so afraid of coming on too strong (see my post titled "Coming on Too Strong") that I kind of let her slip through my fingers. I will continue reading to my old people, but clearly I need something else.

Over the fall, I took a ballroom dancing class through community education. The information made it very clear that people of all ages were encouraged to attend, and you did not need to bring a partner. So I didn't bring a partner. Unfortunately for me, all of the older married/soon-to-be-married couples had partners - you know, since they came in couples. There was one younger couple, not much older than me, and I tried desperately to be their friend, but they were recently engaged and had no time or patience for me. I'll have you know, though, that I can now do the fox trot and some basic East Coast swing steps. And it got me out of the house on Monday nights while keeping me away from work.

This time, I decided to sign up for something with a bit more rigor. I have registered for  beginning adult recreational tennis lessons through community education. I am also participating in drop-in gentle yoga at Breathe Yoga Studio. ALSO, I am registered for a west coast swing class and have made it very clear (hopefully) to the instructor that I will be coming without a partner.

Anyway, with all this physical activity, it began to dawn on me that I will be needing some actual gym clothes. I have soccer shorts and a couple pairs of sporty capris. The capris will work fine for yoga, but let's be honest. It is winter. I am single. There is no way that I am going to commit to shaving my legs on any sort of regular schedule. I will not be wearing capris or shorts to tennis or yoga most nights. This means that I need some gym pants. Oh boy is this going to be an adventure.

My grandmother bought me a pair of gym pants for Christmas. They are yoga pants, so they are a bit tighter than I usually go, but that is ok. They are also kind of short, so there is no way I can wear them with my tennis shoes to tennis lessons. Also, they don't have any pockets. So I guess my yoga clothing quota is filled.

I went to Dick's Sporting Goods with my brother today. He needed new shoes for his size 1 million feet, and they are one of the few stores to carry athletic shoes in his size. While he tried on shoes, I browsed for pants. Most pants are too short for me. I am not a tall person, but what there is of me is mostly legs, and I don't like short pants! I finally find a pair that fits, and I feel relieved, although slightly annoyed after looking at the price tag. I go over to check on my brother only to realize that they don't have pockets! Drat! Time to start again!

My brother, an avid tennis play, was appalled when he learned that I was searching for pants to play tennis in. According to Max, one does not - nay - cannot - play tennis in pants. I tried to tell him that I am not shaving my legs for tennis. I don't even shave my legs for work! I wear pants or leggings under all my skirts and dresses! I hate shaving my legs! Even when I take the time to do it, I end up missing huge chunks or strips or patches, and it still doesn't look nice. Not wanting to shave my legs was not a good enough reason for Max.

So then I tried to tell him that I might have to change at home or at work and drive over wearing my pants, and it is winter so I am not driving around in shorts. He didn't buy this excuse either.

So I told him that it is adult, recreational, beginner tennis lessons through community education during the winter time and nobody is going to care if I wear pants or shorts. I could wear pajama pants, and it would probably be fine. After disgusted and feeble arguments in favor of his side of the argument, my brother finally conceded that it is possible to play tennis in pants, but that they must be light weight wind-breaker-esque pants that don't swish too much, aren't very baggy, and have pockets. That on top of my requirement that they not be hot pink and that they must be long enough excluded almost every pair of pants in Dick's Sporting Goods except for one pair in the corner. That pair, however, was much too expensive.

Tomorrow I will look at Target.

Above is a picture of one of the pairs of dragon mittens, as promised.

Results of the "New Year's Eve Plans" Survey

The results of the New Year's Eve Plans survey are in, and they are astounding. Drum roll please!

60% of you are staying put. You are not going anywhere for New Year's Eve.
20% of you are going to a friend's house to celebrate.
None of you are going out on the town, bar hopping and such.
Shockingly, none of you are going to swanky black tie affairs, either.

Isn't that fascinating? For those of you that took the time to click your answer, aren't you glad you did? Now everyone should take the new survey so that I can report on that in a couple of weeks!

If you are in Southern Minnesota this holiday season, be careful on the roads. I've heard that there should be a couple more inches of snow and sleet coming our way!

I've got a case of the Old-Timer's disease.

Alright. It is official. I am old. This is unfortunate because I am chronologically, age-wise, not that old. The number that represents my age is not that big, and the year of my birth was not that long ago, and yet I am old.

The other day I was sitting at home alone, enjoying the lights on the Christmas tree. I had a crocheted blanket in my lap, with a cat on top. The cat was keeping me nice and warm and I sipped my tea with honey and worked on a knitting project. This is because I am an old lady.

Yesterday I curled up on the couch with a good crossword puzzle, my cat, and a cup of tea. Sometimes I talk to myself or the cat. And I felt a strong sense of accomplishment when I finished that New York Times crossword puzzle. I really crushed that one!

Do you know why my cat thinks she is a person? It is because I talk to her like she is one. I am pretty convinced that Squeaky can understand what I am saying, and what is more, I am pretty convinced I can tell what she is saying every once and a while. Am I sounding more and more like an old lady to you?

People my age around here apparently hang out at sports bars. Bah! Those places are noisy and overstimulating! And I dress to practically to ever get hit on. If it is snowing, I wear my snow boots. If it is cold, I wear a winter jacket. Also, I wear a sweater or longsleeve shirt. I am not going to go around in the snow wearing high heeled sandals and a mini skirt with no tights! How am I sounding now?

Tonight I attended a live accordion performance. Granted, it is because I volunteer with some old people once a week, and the concert was for them, but I think I enjoyed it just as much as they did. I sang along with "Roll Out the Barrel" and "Bye, Bye Blackbird" (Yes! I know the words to those songs!). Usually I read to them, chat, and we do trivia, but this live accordion performance was a nice change of pace.

You can see why I am beginning to worry. Why do I have the behaviors of someone more than twice my age? I am nowhere near retirement!

Hold on. I have to go take care of something.....

"Damn kids! Get off my lawn!"

Luckily I am still young enough to think this is funny:










That never happened! I was not seduced by a french man!

Things That are Things That I Think I Should Share

1. Modern Nativity: Apparently my sister enjoyed it so much, she watched it twice. It was cute, so I'll give it that.



 I kind of feel like it is a giant commercial, though, so that might be what is stopping me from enjoying it as much as others seem to be.

2. Dexter: So I've been watching this recently, and no wonder people like it. It is very engrossing, but not so much so that I have to really focus on what's going on. This is good because as you may know, my students are rubbing off on me and I am beginning to have a shorter and shorter attention span. This might be because I cater to kiddos, and we change gears about every 10 minutes.....Proof of that is right now. I am off topic. Dexter is a decent show, and if you are looking for a new show to get into, even though I am only partway through season 2, I would recommend it.

3. "Open Relationship": Every once and a while when I hear the phrase "open relationship", this  starts playing in my head. It took a little bit of creative search words to find it again, but VOILA:






I think it is clever, anyway. Catchy. Makes me giggle.

4. Danny Friedman and the Beastman Band: The couple I used to babysit for had the most adorable baby! And the guy, unbeknown to me all that time, was in this band.


http://www.beastmanband.com/

 Might I suggest "Lord, I'm a Chicken" or "Woman, I don't want no baby comin' out of you!"...

5. Snow: Due to the snow, we got out 2 hours early today! WOOHOO Early release! Good news is I got to go home early. Bad news is, this could screw up my weeks lessons. Good news, I got to chill and watch some television shows. Bad news is I kind of goofed around and got a fraction of the things done that I could have. Good news, I am feeling pretty relaxed. Sigh.

6. Retro Folgers Commercials: Another one for your enjoyment.






See what she did there? She took his infuriating demeanor and turned it right back around on him! Doesn't feel so good to be on the other side, does it, Harold? And like I said to Harvey and other husband, "Why don't you make your own stupid coffee?"

Results of the Tea Survey

So....no one took the tea survey. The results show that no one who reads my blog likes tea, which I happen to know is just not true.

Take the New Years Eve Plan survey! Take it! Now!

Call Me Ms. Crankypants

So I get home tonight, and the plow has gone by, completely covering the entrance to our driveway. Since I drive a little car, there was no way I could get enough power in 1st gear making a left turn into the driveway to get over that hump.

So I parked in the neighbor's driveway, got the handy-dandy shovel out of my trunk that my parents just bought me last weekend, and got to work. But I soon realized that not only had the plow blocked the entrance to the driveway, but somehow the opening to the driveway, between the two giant heaps of snow, had gotten narrower. This meant I had to not only clear the end of the driveway, but make the hack away at the heaps of snow taller than me in order to widen the entrance.

So here I am, chopping, hacking, huffing, and puffing, and basically getting nowhere. Let's remember that I'm an asthmatic with a bad shoulder here. People are walking by me, clearly struggling, slipping in the muck, and making little progress. No one stops to help. A man in a truck honked at me and yelled, but I'm not sure why. Maybe he was so offended by my ineffective shoveling he felt the need to express his anger? The man across the street came out for a few minutes and was snow blowing. I waved to him, and he looked at me and turned back into the house.

I finally start to make some progress, and that cursed plow goes by again! BOOO!

And here's the kicker. The downstairs neighbor's friend who parks in our driveway and walks to work, but always ignores me (even the time the garage door was open and I couldn't get the release latch myself---I said, "excuse me, could you please help me?" and he didn't even look at me.) came back to get his car. Now the last incident, perhaps I could brush off if he had a hearing problem, but he could clearly see me struggling here, and he walked RIGHT BY. He didn't even acknowledge me. I assumed he would get into his car, try to leave, and realize he would need to get out and help if he ever wanted to leave, because the rate I was going, he was going to be stuck watching me until morning.

But he didn't drive his car down the driveway for another 10 minutes or so. I think he went back behind the house and sat in his car! Is that possible? Would he do that? Then when he finally came out, I was beginning to see progress again. Now he HAS to acknowledge me because I am standing right in his way with a shovel, and I turned around and looked at him.

So he opens the car door and says that he is going to try to get some speed and plow out, and maybe he'd make some tire tracks and I could get into the driveway. Then he gets back in the car. And that is exactly what he does in his big car. He got up some speed and plowed through my hole. And he got out.

Unfortunately, part of his car smashed into one of the hills on the side of the driveway, causing it to partially collapse, once again making the opening too narrow for me to get to. By now I am becoming irate. Why is no one helping me? Would it have killed that man that parks in our driveway to take a couple of shovels full of snow off the driveway? Could that man across the street have offered to help? Or ANY of those people that walked by have stopped?

I FINALLY get the opening big enough and the snow low enough that I think I can get in. So I go for it, and I clear! Then I got stuck on the driveway. I was so mad, I yelled at the car, bounced in my seat and banged on the steering wheel. I had to get out and shovel around the car. Then I had to rock back and forth, and I made almost no progress. This meant I had to take a break for a minute with the car off to fight off tears of frustration. I just wanted to go inside and eat dinner!

Eventually I got up the driveway and into the house, only to discover that my downstairs neighbor had been home the whole time. Maybe he didn't see me shoveling at the end of the driveway, but surely he at least heard me struggling with my car in the driveway?

I was going to do the dishes today, but I think instead I am going to talk a hot bath, do my crossword puzzle, and go to bed early. I feel like Ms. Crankypants right now.


Also, this is a thing:

Tea and Mr. Darcy

I love Jane Austen novels. Even when I am frustrated with a character, I am drawn into their world. The only one I have started that I haven't managed to finish is Emma, and to be fair, it is a big book, and I started doing a lot of traveling about halfway through it. I'm sure if I started it again, I would finish. I just need to find the time to read again! Maybe that is what I should do with my holiday break.

I also need to read Northanger Abbey. Unlike Emma, though, I really have no idea what it is about. Time to go to the library!

While Mansfield Park is certainly worth the read, it isn't the first one to read if you are new to Jane Austen. Might I suggest the classic Pride and Prejudice followed by the newer movie version, and then of course the BBC 6 hour long mini-series. Hello there, Mr. Darcy!

 

Of course, I am partial to Sense and Sensibility, despite the modern heeby-jeebies I get from Marianne's marriage in the end. I suppose it was a different time, and if you completely ignore their age difference, it is a very sweet and well suited match.
Wouldn't much recommend the movie, however.

It has been decided, then! This Christmas break I will finish (after re-starting) Emma, read Northanger Abbey, and watch the BBC mini-series of "Pride and Prejudice" all in one day, probably in my pajamas, with popcorn, ice cream, and tea.

The Mighty Siege of '10

Minnesota was under attack for a little over 24 hours this past weekend.  Between the non-stop snow, the terrifyingly low temperatures, and the unrelenting wind, many Minnesotans chose to withdraw immediately from the battle.

Many veteran Minnesotans are comparing this storm to the Great Halloween Snow Storm of ’91. With over 28 inches of snow, the Halloween storm was indeed historic, although it did not keep Minnesotans from Trick-or-Treating. This most recent battle, however fierce, did not manage to pile on nearly as much snow, with current estimates running between 18 and 25 inches, depending on locations throughout south-western Minnesota.

The storm laid siege to Minnesotans beginning Friday night, and held on through early Sunday morning. Many battle-hardened “snow storm troopers” ventured out, despite warnings from family, friends, and the Minnesotan leader, Governor Tim Pawlenty. Children, bundled up to their eyeballs, waddled through thigh-deep snow in order to give their parents some sort of reprieve from their general squirminess caused by the storm. Or perhaps the parents were sending their children out as ambassadors to sooth the storm.

In the Twin Cities, plows were called off the road because there was too much snow. Some snuffed at the paradoxical command, and it looked for a moment as if the snow would win.

Minnesotans, however, tend to be of hearty stock, and managed to hold out against the storm. While the battle of Troy, as depicted in Homer’s The Iliad ended tragically, Minnesotans triumphed. We managed to stare that storm in the eye and wait it out. To celebrate, as soon as they were allowed to, Minnesotans scurried out to drive to work, run errands, and even go Christmas shopping.

Some exciting things witnessed by this reporter:

*Children “playing” out in the snow. Most of these children were so bundled up they could hardly move, and stood staring at each other and at cars skidding by at 5 mph.

*Many, MANY cars in ditches

*7 foot piles of snow down the center of streets in downtown Rochester

*A Santa underneath a bridge on Cedar Northbound, attempting to remove the ice from his windshield wipers. It was a bad day for Santa to take the car, and not the sleigh.

My-Life-Is-Pretty-Awesome Playlist

      A couple of months ago, I made a broken hearted playlist. I haven't needed it in quite some time, however, because as it turns out, my life is pretty awesome. These are some of the delightful tunes I have been listening to lately, and if you are as awesome as me, or your life is pretty awesome, you should probably start listening to this playlist as soon as possible. 

    You'll note that there are many Canadian artists on the list, and that is due to the influence of the incredibly cool and 100% fantastic Protagitron.

   "Carmensita” – Devandra Banhart

This is a great song to listen to in the car on the way to work. I love the rhythms, and while I have absolutely no idea what he is singing about since I don’t speak Spanish, I can’t help but crank it up nice and loud and dance in the car. More than once I have pulled into the school parking lot dancing as much as humanly possible in a car. Yeah, I’m crazy, but it makes me happy. 

"Can’t Get No Satisfaction” – The Rolling Stones

It’s true. I just can’t get not satisfaction, and it certainly isn’t for lack of trying. It is more for lack of talent and general attractiveness, but whatcha gonna do? The Rolling Stones and I have had a long standing relationship. Plus, singing along to this song and dancing in my pajamas is much healthier than feeling sorry for myself, not to mention it is just a good song. 

"Bret, You’ve Got it Goin’ On” -  Flight of the Conchords

While Bret is looking for a woman who is “needy for a weedy shy guy”, I am looking for a man who wants a clumsy, stubborn, over-excitable, kind of crazy woman. And if Bret has got it goin’ on, then I feel like I do, too. Unlike Bret, though, my friends have never admitted to putting a wig on me while I was asleep to deal with their own loneliness.  Also, none of my friends have complimented my beard, or my ability to find short cuts in this part of town.

 “Nothing More to Say” – Joel Plaskett and The Emergency
I love, love, love the opening to this song. Right now, this song couldn’t be truer, either. All the leaves ARE gone, and winter is definitely here. Also, I have nothing more to say to him. This is another great one to sing and dance to in the car in the morning, although the language is not exactly appropriate, so I can’t listen to the beginning really, super loud as I pull into the parking lot, just in case there are children around. But there are almost never children in the parking lot in the morning. Once there was a dog, though. 

  “The Middle” – Jimmy Eat World

As always, this song makes me feel better. It is one of those songs that really pumps me up and gives me energy and reminds me that sometimes it is only in my head that I feel that way. While I may feel like I am struggling to stay afloat, I can’t write myself off yet. And if you know me at all, you know that whenever I hear this song, I dance like a crazy person. It really does not matter where I am when it comes on. I have been lucky so far never to have heard it in an interview or in the middle of an important meeting.

“Don’t Let Us Bring You Down” – Bend Sinister

I was introduced to Bend Sinister in August by my extremely wise former roommate (the Protagitron), and I actually really enjoy a lot of their music. This one reminds me not to let all the little stuff bring me down. You should listen to it and learn the words, because it is awfully fun to just belt it out.
  
"Baba O’Riley” – The Who

Again, this one is just a classic that has been with me throughout my entire life. I remember listening to it in the backseat of my dad’s car and him having to rewind it again and again because we both enjoy it so much. When I think back to all that time I spent listening to music with my dad when I was little, it is really a miracle I can still hear at all.

“Time Breaks Down” – Bend Sinister

Bend Sinister. They’re awesome. Look them up.

“Won’t Back Down” – Tom Petty

This is my theme song. I am stupidly, ridiculously stubborn, and it is something I am learning to accept about myself. It is my belief (even though I have proven myself wrong many times) that if I just keep trying and I don’t give up, I will eventually succeed. To be clear, there have been plenty of incidences in my life where I should not believe this, but logic and reason are completely overshadowed by my stubbornness. Sometimes I think I really could be stood up at the gates of Hell, and I would stand my ground. 

“A Kiss is Not A Contract” – Flight of the Conchords

A kiss is not a contract, but it’s very nice. I can’t go around loving anyone! I just wouldn’t get anything done! To be honest, though, it isn’t like there is a line. Please see number 2 on the list. I just think this song is silly.

“Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side” – The Magnetic Fields

This goofy ditty makes me giggle a little bit every time. It is fun and funny. You should listen to it while doing dishes. That’s what I do.

“Middle Management” – Bishop Allen

Another good one for the ride to work, “Middle Management” will stick in your head at least long enough to entertain you for the walk from the car to the classroom. I know I don’t work in an office setting, but every once and a while I feel like it still applies. We don’t have a water cooler, but we do have a lounge. And I have never felt like this isn’t the job for me, but I have felt frustration. But it is just a good song, and I get to yell “ALRIGHT!” in the car, which I like. 

“Non, Je ne Regrette Rien” – Edith Piaf
This one is fun to sing along to in the car, while doing dishes, while folding laundry, or whatever. You just need to make sure that you have the energy and wind power to sing along as loudly and dramatically as possible. Over-exaggerated facial expressions are a must, as are dramatic operetta-esque arm and body movements. And I suppose it is true. My life is not so bad, and everything that has happened before now has put me where I am now, and so I don’t regret it. My life is pretty awesome, even though I seem to meet one disaster after another. But that is just because I am accident prone and terribly unlucky. But I am lucky in that I have wonderful friends and family who are amazing, I have a job, I have a comfortable home, and I can play the piano, which brings me a lot of joy. 

  “Things Will Get Better” – Bend Sinister

If I am having a rough time, I still love to listen to this song. After “Won’t Back Down” it exactly describes how I feel about life. If things aren’t perfect right now, don’t worry about it. Keep working. Keep doing your best. Keep your head up. Things will get better (even though it might take forever)!

If you have any songs or artists you think I need to add or consider adding, let me know. I am thinking of doing some more research on Joel Plankett. I got a kick out of his song about the teacher as well, but I don't know it as well. That is probably because I listen to "Nothing More to Say" quite a few times during the week, but I've only heard that song once all the way through. I may have to remedy that.

"Random! Ra-ra-random! Free Stylin'!"

I ate a whole box of macaroni and cheese for dinner today! I haven't been able to do that since the days of undergrad. Granted, that wasn't that long ago, but I still feel quite the sense of accomplishment. Should I be eating entire boxes of bright orange noodles by myself? Probably not, but it hasn't killed me yet.

The Christmas decorations are now up in my apartment. I've got the tassles, the few ornaments, the Snoopy on his doghouse, and some candles. When I go visit my folks this weekend, I am going to bring back the little Christmas tree, too, so that will be exciting.

In other, other news, I have mostly effectively insulated one of my draft windows. Hopefully this will help reduce my heating bill. I need to do three more of the windows at least, but it is quite the hullaballoo for me. First, I need to deal with the double sided adhesive. Have you seen me with glue or tape? It almost always sticks to me or ties me up rather than do what I want it to. Then there's the matter of taking the large sheets of plastic and cutting them to the size of the window. Anything bigger than me, and I can't handle it. Plus my lack of fine motor skills makes it hard to cut a straight line. Then, I need to attach that plastic to the double-sided adhesive inside the window, and those of you that know me well know that I can't keep my arms above my head that well. Finally, I have to use the hair dryer to make the plastic shrink and stay. It took me way too long to do just that one window. Maybe I'll do another window tomorrow night, and another on Wednesday. The house will be insulated by the end of December, I'm sure.

Also, last night I had a dream that I knocked out all my front teeth and broke my hip. In this condition, I still had to keep an eye on one of my fourth grade students who isn't allowed to be in the hallway by himself. Then I realized that not only was all of this going on, but I was only 12 years old and in a seaside town that had only coffee shops and bookstores that had coffee inside. I had to hobble and limp from coffee shop to coffee shop, trying to hold the bloody spit in my mouth while coaxing my student to come with me. He kept trying to wander off, and with the broken hips and blood loss, I wasn't really moving that fast. Anyway, I knew I needed a doctor, so I kept going into each of these coffee shops and bookstores looking for a doctor or a phone I could use to call a doctor. In each store I ran into one of my male high school teachers, and they always asked about how I was doing. They never commented on how awful I looked. None of them had phones, either.  I ended up taking that student down to the water to feed the ducks. I had a mocha in my hand, but I couldn't drink it.....The end.

So I guess my subconscious is trying to tell me I feel beat up? Your psychoanalysis of my dream is welcomed and will of course be taken seriously.

You should take my tea survey. Now.

Ain't Misbehavin'

It is Saturday night, and life is pretty good. I am sitting on the couch with Squeaky curled up next to me. I am working on a crossword puzzle, drinking my fancy-schmancy Earl Grey loose leaf tea out of a hand crafted, hand painted mug while listening to my "Ain't Misbehavin'" jazz cd. The only thing distinguishing me from an old lady is the fact that the music and crossword puzzle are on my laptop.

Never fear, though. I have young-people-plans tonight, too. Dani and Linnea are in the car RIGHT NOW driving down to spend the night with me. I don't know what we'll do. Probably go out to eat or order in, then play board games, do little activities, etc. We had intentions of looking into a place to go dancing or something, but I have the feeling we may cop out and just hang out. This is fine with me.

Peggy Lee is singing "Why Don't You Do Right?" now. I like this one. Time for another swig of tea and another crossword puzzle!

Winter Wonderland

I found winter! For all you southern Minnesotans  who thought that I lost it, HA! I found it again. The quickly accumulating mounds of sparkling, white snow are quite beautiful, but it makes driving rather difficult. If you don't have to drive slowly because of the slick conditions, then you get trapped behind the plow.

Also, I forgot that the barometric differences makes kids go crazy. My students had that wild look in their eyes today, and I even scrapped my third grade lesson plans and did an art project with an underlying lesson of appreciation. That almost went better. We can finish editing our essays about what our five senses are experiencing on the moon on Monday.

My happy cat and I are sitting in our pajamas on the couch, now. She seems ecstatic that I have finally returned home after going early to work, then going out right after work. With the heat finally working again, all I have to worry about for the rest of the night is which hot beverage to consume and what DVD to pop in.

In other news, I just got off the phone with a colleague. I forgot I was supposed to call her when I got home so she would know I wasn't stuck in a snow drift somewhere on the highway. Then she recommended I watch this youtube clip:








Ah, American History.

Teachers: 1; Origami: 0

It may not seem that way to an outsider, but I lead a pretty awesome life.

After school today, I met two colleagues and friends of mine (Ashley and the other Ivy) at Dunn Brothers to do some prep work for a lesson I want to do with my fourth graders tomorrow. This lesson includes making an origami box, and with no origami experience at all, I naturally turned to the internet for guidance. I printed two different kinds of boxes, grabbed some construction paper, two rulers, some pencil nubs off my desk, and some kiddie scissors and headed off for some coffee.

Those of you that know me know that I shouldn't be allowed to do art projects. Between my lack of fine motor skills and just my general clumsiness, I usually end up with more paper glued to myself than the project or more needle holes in my finger than in the fabric. Nonetheless, I insist of persisting. It took all three of us, Ashley, Other Ivy, and myself, but we managed to make a basic box AND the star box. There was a lot of "smack talk" and grumbling, but we won!

All day long, the three of us preach and nag about positive attitudes, respectful interactions, doing your best, and working together. I'm sure we attracted a lot of attention during the first chunk of our time, where our boxes refused to be boxes. "This is dumb!" "This doesn't make any sense!" "This is stupid!" "No! You're stupid!" "My box at least looks more like a box than your box!", and other such un-positive attitude comments escaped from all three of us. There was cursing, muttering, banging the crumpled paper on the table, throwing things aside, and general disrespect for ourselves, others, and our place. (If you work where I work, you will understand the last part of that comment.) But in the end, with our combined stubborness and some effective teamwork, as well as using our words, we conquered the origami directions!

Three cheers for us!

Then I went home and had popcorn and did laundry. I also worked for quite some time on the prototype for my mitten project. It is my intent to turn regular mittens into dragon mittens for two of my friends for Christmas. This is proving to be more difficult than it should be, but not more difficult than I anticipated. And after the origami star box, I have faith in myself!

When I'm not too lazy to go dig out the camera and download pictures, I will take some pictures of my boxes (I am very proud) and of the dragon mitten prototype. Or maybe you'll see me walking around wearing them.

Attack of the Human Eraser

Today was a day! 

And now, on my couch with my foot on the coffee table and the cat curled up next to me, I will share bits and pieces. 

The heat was supposed to be fixed yesterday, but it was not, so I spent the night on the couch, curled up in front of the space heater. Yes, I realize I could plug the space heater in in the bedroom, but there is not an elevated space really close to the bed to put the space heater on. In the living room, I can clear off the coffee table and put it on that. This way, the hot air blows right on me. You aren’t judging my intelligence as much anymore, are you? Nonetheless, I woke up with a frozen nose.

I started the day out with some instant flavored coffee, an apple, and some chocolate covered Ritz crackers. I really enjoy those chocolate covered Ritz crackers. The first time I had them was when I bought them out of curiosity last year for a New Year’s party I was helping to host. They were amazing, but I didn’t get nearly as many as I would have liked. It turns out they are a seasonal items, for reasons I cannot even fathom. When I saw them at Hyvee, even though I was supposed to be buying only items for my fifth graders’ volcano project, I tossed them in the cart. Now I regret only having bought one box.

Anyway, I went to school where something really weird happened with some important confidential documents. I can’t discuss it here, but trust me, it was weird, confusing, and pretty funny. 

The day plugged along pretty well, I suppose. ALL of my fourth graders in my second fourth grade class were late, which was weird. I had to make phone calls to get them to come down to me. The first ones there were 8 minutes late, which, when you only have 30 minutes, is a significant chunk of time! Then, to prove a point, I wasted more of our time doing math on the board with them to show them how much time they waste when they are late and discussing how important it is that they are on time. It was kind of fun because I teach 4^th grade not in my classroom, but in my colleague’s classroom, and she has many colorful markers, and I got to use them.

During my last class of the day, things got a little crazy. They were not as crazy as they have been, but that is because I got my students with higher language levels started 15 minutes earlier than the other students. This means that these students got a lot done today! YAY! 

But when my second group of overlapping students showed up, things started going a little crazy. I have this fairly new student that we’ll call Mike (please note that my student is not actually named Mike. I have no students named Mike.). Mike has been quite a handful. When Mike is off task, it is impossible for anyone else to be on task. He does this magic trick where you turn to write ONE WORD on the board and you turn around and everything in his corner of the room is topsy-turvey. Sometimes I can’t even get mad because I am so impressed by his made chaos skillz. 

At one point, Mike was up out of his desk, rubbing his body on the board and singing/screaming. He was erasing things on the board that the other students needed to see in order to complete their assignment. This of course prompted all kinds of other chaos with students tugging on my arm to complain, students yelling at Mike to tell him to stop, students just taking a cue that it was time for a free-for-all. And Mike was so noisy by himself, I could hardly get a word in edgewise! Mike ended up taking a break with me in the hall, but I was at a loss for a couple of seconds there. What would you have done if your student was an extremely noisy human eraser?

In other news, some of you may remember my past attempts at becoming a Dirty Dancer. Well, what you might not know is that that disc came with a special bonus disc! Tonight I started work on the “Dancing with the Stars: Latin Cardio Workout”. I did the warm-up and the cha-cha, so I got a full 15 minutes of exercise in there. Unlike the Dirty Dancing work-out video, the dancing with the stars people assume that I am a far-from-sexy, clumsy, not-terribly-bright person. I think I may have more luck with this disc!

Cha-cha-cha!

Coming On Too Strong

Today I met a new possible-future-friend while volunteering. I try to get out every Tuesday to read to the sisters and play games. Tonight we did some math trivia, read some poems about the wind and being thankful, then we played this awesome game with this awesome beach ball.

All the sisters were either in chairs or in their wheel chairs, and we moved walkers behind us. Then we kicked the beach ball to each other around the circle. Whenever the ball came to a standstill (as it did often since some sisters don't have a lot of strength in their legs), possible-future-friend and I would pick up the ball, and read a category off of it. The awesome thing about this ball is that it had lots of stars on it, and in each star there was a category. For example, we did "kinds of cheese", "kinds of birds", "Disney characters", "green vegetables", "ingredients in cookies", and a few others. This activity has the sisters moving, interacting with each other, and thinking! I would love a version of this for my students! This particular ball wouldn't work, however, because it says things like "Male movie stars before 1960", "brands of soap", and "Famous band leaders of the 1940's".

Anyway, possible-future-friend looks about my age, lives in Rochester, is a nurse, is not married, and has a roommate. She seems pretty awesome....Plus I really liked her sweater. It was an awesome sweater. Maybe we will volunteer at the same time again, and we can become friends. I think I might come on too strong if I said what I was thinking.

"Hey! I'm pretty new to town and don't know anyone outside of my work colleagues! I am looking to make non-work friends! You seem nice! Why don't you give me your phone number and we can hang out?"

See, if someone said that to me, I would be pretty receptive, I think. But I am weird. Also, I am quite aware that I am an acquired taste. Mostly because I am weird.....

Henry Needs to Go Shopping!

My dad sent me this link today:

http://www.petstyle.com/news/general/celebrate-national-dress-your-pet-day

Last spring my family adopted a dog from a Last Hope. Henry (nee Freckles) is my father's 4th - and golden - child. Henry is allowed to sleep on Daddy's bed, and even sit on Daddy's pillow! Henry is allowed in the kitchen during dinner time! Henry loves to go for car rides! Henry has an abundance of toys. Of course it should be noted that Henry loves to play with his toys, and it is almost as entertaining for us to watch him as it is for him to play with it.


Anyway, point is, Henry is building quite a wardrobe. He has his scary skeleton onesie, his monster costume, and of course, his Lands End dog coat with reflectors and his name embroidered on the back. Needless to say, I think Henry will be needing a new outfit for this holiday.





Squeaky, on the other hand, owns nothing but her chicken hat. As you can see in the picture, she is none too thrilled with that. Maybe she needs something more fashionable.










As for Basil, he was so shook up about wearing the chicken hat that one time that he ran and hid under the stairs. I don't think we'll torture him on National Dress Up Your Pet Day.

22.1 Grams of Belly Button Lint

As you may know from reading my blog earlier this year, I really enjoy reading strange and bizarre news stories on the internet. I know that they may not always be true or might be exaggerated, but usually I am pretty good at telling which ones are just ridiculous. I find my articles by reading headlines, then clicking on new headlines, each one weirder than the last if possible.

Today I found this delightful article in the Daily Mail about an Australian librarian who has a record breaking belly button lint collection. Please re-read that description and let it sink in. Now you may proceed to read the article.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1323477/Record-breaking-belly-fluff-collection-Graham-Barker-collected-22-1g-26-years.html


At first I was amused, then a little disgusted, then amused again. But as I read more of the article, I began to become alarmed. Mr. Barker started collecting belly button lint because he was curious. He pulled out belly button lint one day while waiting for his shower to warm up, and he started to wonder how much belly button one person can accumulate. (Hilarious side note: Mr. Barker says he "harvests" the belly button lint.) 

This got me to thinking. I get curious about things all the time. I am weird. I try little experiments in my home quite often. Also, I live with my cat who, while quite vocal, really can't tell me that she doesn't like me collecting my belly button lint in a jar on the sink. How long will it be before I start some weird, record-breaking habit? And what will it be?

Possible weird,(possibly disgusting), record-breaking habits I could possibly start:
* number of times I can use a tea bag before it either tastes awful or tastes just like water
* How many times my cat will meow back to me in the morning vs. evening
* how long can my armpit hair really grow?
* collecting tissues - how many of these do I use in a month?
* tally marks to keep track of how many cups of tea I really drink

And the list goes on and on. Or it could. Any extra ideas? All it takes is one day for me to actually act on the impulse to answer one of the millions of ridiculous questions that run through my head every day.

Please try not to judge too much if next time you see me I have armpit hair hanging down to my elbows, carrying a basket of used tissues and meowing.

I'm a Mindsticker!

It is time for another installment of sexist old commercials I get a kick out of:






Don't you want to have a good shape? HE wants you to have a good shape! Your man is working hard all day in the office while you are frolicking out in the woods! The least you can do for him is have a good shape so that he can fantasize about you. Come on, ladies!

Be a mindsticker! Guzzle that Tab!

A Temporary Bout of Insomnia

Alas it is one of those nights where I seem doomed to sleeplessness, but I have realized it too late to really do anything about it. I know that it really isn't that late yet, but I can tell that I am not going to be able to sleep for the next few hours. I'm feeling anxious and worked up about something, but I don't quite know what.

It has been a while now, but I am finally starting to feel like my happy, enthusiastic self again. I can sing in the shower, dance in the kitchen while cooking, and I don't even terribly mind doing the dishes after cooking. Granted, I miss having someone to cook for that did most of the dishes for me, but I am perfectly capable of doing the dishes myself. Am I perfectly capable of eating all the food I cook? Well, no, but that is a different matter. It seems I never learned to cook for one. In fact, it appears I don't know how to cook for two or three either. I just keep on cooking like I have an army to feed, when in fact it is just me. Squeaky prefers her cat food, which is good because it is probably healthier for a cat to eat cat food than chicken Tiki Marsala or baked pasta.

Now as you may or may not know, I enjoy watching "Law and Order: SVU". The Protagitron (http://protagitron.blogspot.com/) and I have spent many a weeknight watching Benson and Stabler solve crimes. We also took the "Law and Order: SVU" life lessons to heart. We know that this is not only an entertaining and completely accurate depiction of the justice system, but a warning of sorts to all us single women. In fact, I was just talking with Ashley, a colleague, about this the other day.

You see, if I have learned anything from "Law and Order: SVU" (SVU stands for Special Victims Unit, in case you didn't know), it is that any single woman living alone in any city is going to be attacked or at least targeted by a serial rapist/killer/stalker/animal rights activist. It seems that the chances of this go up dramatically if the single woman also works long hours. If you give the single woman working long hours a pet cat, well, an attack is inevitable. Now let's do the math. I am single in a city. I work ridiculously long hours. I have a cat that I treat as if she were a person. This puts me a bit ahead of Ashley who doesn't have a cat.

I wonder if the new "Law and Order: Los Vegas" or whatever it is has any important life lessons to learn? They would of course need to be relevant to my life, such as those presented in "Law and Order: SVU" (which is clearly an informative show that doesn't feed on people's fears and fascination with violence).

In other news, the Protagitron shared this with me a while back, and if you are at all even a little bit of an SVU fan, you will appreciate this:

http://www.brandonbird.com/stories.html

I think I will now go eat some cookies and watch "The Office" on DVD. Maybe if I watch a disc I've seen a lot, it will bore me so much I will fall asleep. That's really my best bet at this point. Oh boy is tomorrow going to be fun. Can you say, "Coffee!"?

First Date Adventure

I went on a first date last night with another elementary school teacher from the area. We went to the art center, walked around the game store and Barnes and Noble, got a coffee from Starbucks, and just chatted. I had a really good time, and I really like him.

Upsides to the date:
-He was cute.
-We had lots to talk about.
-There was a fair amount of laughing.
-The art center was pretty cool, although some of the art was confusing. There was a pretty cool exhibit inspired by Versailles and Marie Antionette that I really enjoyed. There was also a very interesting piece by this guy who is on a quest to take down the corporate wizard. I need to do some more research on that guy.


Downsides:
-We didn't eat. He asked at 5pm if I was hungry, and I wasn't, but after walking around for a while, I was ready to eat. When I brought it up again, he said he wasn't hungry. We never had dinner. Those of you that know me know that that is bad. I need to eat, or I go a little crazy.
-At the end of the date he said he needed to "process" the date and he'd talk to me later. What is that? What is "process"? Did I read him wrong? Was I having all the fun?

So this is the third first date I've been on in the last couple of months, and this is the only one I really, truly felt like I clicked with the person. But what on Earth does that mean that he needs to "process the date"? Linnea has a theory that either he panicked at the end of the date and said the first thing that came to mind in case I wasn't interested in going out again. Her other theory is that he is a jerk or a tool. At this point, I suppose both are possible. We'll have to wait and see which of her theories are true. Of course there is the possibility we may never know! And I thought we were getting along rather well!

This dating thing is hard!

Band-Aid Blitz

I finally started shaving my legs last night in the shower. I don't think I have shaved since September. To be honest, there has really been no need. Once it started cooling down, I started wearing pants or legging under skirts and dresses, and no one ever sees my legs.

Anyway, now that you are slightly grossed out, I will get to my point. I discovered that my legs are all bruised!  At first I was surprised, but then I thought about my daily activities. I am by no means graceful. I walk into desks, walls, other people, coat racks, and chairs. The other day I smacked the back of my head on a brick wall while talking to a student. I tripped over my own desk chair while sharpening a pencil. I walked into an open locker door, then stepped on a student. Then while standing precariously on some school furniture, I slipped while trying to staple student work to the wall and banged my arm into a strip of cork. This all happened in one day, and that was only what I could remember.

Today, while trying to hang up a schedule for my fifth graders, I slipped and got a huge paper cut all down one side of my hand. I am running out of band-aids in my desk drawer.

So this evening when I went grocery shopping at Target, I stocked up on band-aids - 4 boxes of varying sizes and designs. I got the fabric kind so they don't give me a rash. I even got little camoflauge ones for tiny paper cuts. I got neosporin, peroxide, and rubbing alcohol. Then I bought some ice cream.

Between that and my insurance, I should be ok for about a month.

The Best Part of Waking Up: Housewives Who Can't Even Make Coffee!

This is one of my favorite commercials of all time. It is a Folger's coffee commercial featuring Harvey, the unappreciative and jerky husband who is probably doing more than drinking coffee with the girls at the office, Harvey's wife, who is so bad at making coffee she doesn't deserve a kiss goodbye, or even a name for that matter, and Harvey's wife's friend who has been using some of mother's little helpers.




 


Luckily for me, there are several of these delightful commercials in existence. Another one of my favorites is the following:



  


I felt like I was watching an episode of "Law and Order"! She was trying to kill her husband - and the petunias - with non-delicious coffee! Dundun! Dadadada-DA! (That was the "Law and Order" theme music.) You can tell the grocery store owner knows this particular woman is simple in the head by the technique he used to sell her the coffee. He told her it was grown in the mountains, and made a mountain with his arms. Please not that not only did she buy the coffee, but she repeated the action that night while feeding her husband the coffee that finally tasted just fine, but was actually poisoned because she had had enough of his crap. Don't like your coffee? Make it yourself!

The First Visit of Phil the Nurse

A nurse who works at the Mayo and is attending Winona State has to do a "community project". He wanted to do a lesson with first graders about washing their hands, but none of the mainstream first grade teachers would make time for him. He needed one hour.

So naturally, as the ESOL teacher, I offered him my students. It was quite recently that I was scrambling around, begging teachers to allow me to come into their class and have 30-45 minutes of their time. The only issue is that instead of one class for one hour, he has three classes and really only has three 20 minute chunks of instructional time.

My friend, Phil the Nurse, came to observe me today. Of course it was a bit of a crazy day since I was doing stations so I can get them exposure to their sight words and get some small group time with students. I didn't know how Phil the Nurse would handle the chaos of first grade stations, or how much he would judge me for singing and dancing and making overly dramatic facial expressions. It was amazing, though, because he got right in there! He did the morning greeting and "boogied down"! He participated in "Baby Shark" and "Tony Chestnut"! He even participated in stations with kids and made sight words out of play-doh!

What are the chances he wants to come be my permanent volunteer para? I could really use the extra set of hands! And he's a nurse! And he's going to teach them how to wash their hands! They need to learn more of those things! Future lessons might (and should) include:

* Not licking pencils
* Don't wipe your boogers on your friends
* Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough
* REMEMBER to wash your hands
* Keep your shirt and shoes on at school


And that's just the beginning!

Candy Portraiture = Confusion

While doing some very important research for some very important upcoming events, I came across this "craft":

http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/2010/11/how-to_preserve_a_candy_portra.html

I can't even read how to do the craft because I cannot begin to fathom why you would take perfectly good candy and glue it into a picture. Then you DON'T eat it. And in the introduction to this craft it says, "and now you have a big bag or two of candy that you don't really want to eat." WHA-AT? Who has bags of candy that they don't want to eat? Seriously! What kind of world are we living in?

Of course this is written by the woman who once ate a jelly bean out of her sheets even though she couldn't remember the last time she had jelly beans. And yesterday I found a lonely Swedish fish under the coffee table, and I ate him, too.

Please feel free to send any of that "unwanted" peanut free candy my way. I'll take care of it for you.

Adventures in a New City

A few evenings back, my new friend, whose name is also Ivy, and I went for a spur of the moment walk down the Zumbro River and around Silver Lake. It was beautiful.

Below are some of the things we saw/participated in:
• Skate park where someone was shot
• Accessible playground
• Jaywalking
• Picking flowers
• Crossing bridges
• Walking through construction site
• To see paddle boats
• Large bridge with sketchy man on bike with shovel and tarp climbing on bridge
• tea

The man on the bridge was pretty sketchy. He had a tarp and everything. I'm not sure what he threw in the river. As for the construction site, we were trying to walk around Silver Lake, but ended up somehow in a closed off section where it looked like they might be doing some construction. We're not sure how we got in there.

It is nice to have a friend who has the same knack for getting into trouble as I do.

A Few Foibles from the First Week

My first week of work in the public school system went just fine. Sure, the kids were more than a little rowdy in my classroom, we haven’t gotten to do anything fun because of mandatory testing, and I am a nobody compared to my predecessor, but I really just need to get through this one ½ section at a time right now. Some of my older students have explicitly expressed how my predecessor, we’ll call him Mr. Maple, is smarter, better looking, more fun, more interesting, a better teacher, cooler, and all around 120% more awesome than I can ever even dream of being. One student even told me they liked Mr. Maple more than me before I even had the chance to tell them my name. Kids are awesome. I mean it sarcastically here, but I also do truly believe that kids are awesome.

My streak as the world’s most awkward, clumsy, incompetent person continues at my new place of employment. It seems everything I touch malfunctions, and it is difficult to explain to my new colleagues that I am not shocked that the printer won’t connect to my computer or that my computer has shut itself down twice in one day. In fact, these are mild annoyances as compared to everything else I manage to do.

At one point, my classroom key didn’t work. That was awesome, because I had all these important papers on the other side of the door, but the key didn’t turn in the lock. After feeling pretty ashamed that I could even get the key to turn in the lock (for those of you who don’t know me, I am not very good with keys. You might say I am key-inept.), I trekked down to the main office. The woman at the front desk gave me a look like I was crazy when I explained the situation, and told me to go back and try again. I did this. I also recruited some other teachers to come try my key. That is how I met some of the fourth grade mainstream team.

The conversations went something like this:

Me: Hello! My name is Ivy McDougalhopper. I am the new ESOL teacher around the corner.
Other Teacher: (Insert polite pleasantries)
Me: I can’t get my key to turn in the lock, and the office told me I had to try again. I was wondering if you would mind trying it just to make sure I am not completely imcompetent.
Other Teacher: (reluctant agreement. Maybe a weird look.)
Me; Thank you.

After these awkward encounters, I returned to the office to report that not only could I not make the key even jiggle in the lock, but several other reputable teachers couldn’t work it either. The woman at the front desk sent me back to my room to check the number on the key and the number on the lock. Of course, they matched. So I had to go all the way back to the office and report that yes, the numbers matched, but the key really didn’t work! I did not get into my room that day.

The next day, I left my keys and badge with the head engineer and went to a meeting. I picked my lanyard up from the office 2 hours later, and the problem was magically fixed. I mean, I started the school year majorly behind in my very important paperwork since apparently no one could use a master key to let me in, but I can get in and out of my room just fine, now.
On another day, I needed a copy of the class lists for all the grades I service. Since my name and password are currently not accepted on the district wide student data base, I had to go down to the office and ask for a hard copy. The woman in the office told me she didn’t have the proper training to print that off for me because the software was new. Instead of asking her politely why she didn’t just press print, I asked her where I could get one. She sent me to the Assistant Principal, but he was out of office for 2 ½ hours, so that was no good. Then I was sent to the principal’s assistant, and she gave me her only hard copy and told me to take it to make a copy for myself.

I know how to use a copy machine. In fact, I make copies all the time. In fact in fact, I had even made several copies on the machine prior to this incident. This time, however, since I was working with an important person’s document, I failed.

The copier sucked in the first page, then sucked in the second and got jammed. With no idea how to fix the problem, I had to go to the woman at the front desk and ask her for help. She fixed the problem pretty quickly, and was not as annoyed with me as she should have been, so that was nice. Unfortunately, the copier got jammed again. This time, however, since I had watched closely before, I knew how to solve the problem. I did everything just like I had seen the woman at the front desk do. Unfortunately, this time the paper had not only gotten jammed, but the copier had eaten the first sheet. There was literally a bite out of one side of the first page. I had to run to my ESL colleague’s room to try to tape it back together.

Once the “surgery” was complete, I attempted take 3 at copying the class lists. This time I was successful, and the amount of pride and happiness I felt from copying a 45 page document is kind of laughable. But let me tell you, when I do simple things, I don’t ever do them simply.