REAL Adults Eat Popcorn for Dinner

Now that the month of January is nearly over, I hear many other adults asking how they have been faring on their New Year's Resolutions. Not having officially made any, it got me thinking. These people have adult resolutions. I work with them, and my age indicates that I am an adult. But am I really?

Let's examine the evidence:

 

I am an adult.

I am not an adult.

·         I go grocery shopping and buy healthy food such as apples, spinach, cheese, and zucchini. ·         I buy (and even ingest) things like Greek Yogurt. ·         I have a full time job with benefits. ·         I drive a car. ·         I have bills, and I pay them (on time!) ·         I can go out to a movie on a Monday night. ·         I can cook, and do so fairly regularly. ·         I own a set of china. ·         I live in a big person apartment all by myself. I even have an “office”. ·         I saw “The King’s Speech” and enjoyed it. ·         Squeaky is a very healthy example of my ability to take care of another living thing. ·         Usually, I eat pretty healthy and consume fruit, vegetables, dairy, and protein on a regular basis.

·         I impulse buy at the grocery store like crazy and usually end up leaving with something like Hostess cupcakes, Peanuts fruit snacks, or Pizza rolls ·         I cannot eat the Greek yogurt unless the texture is completely disguised by copious amounts of granola and fruit. ·         Part of my full time job includes singing silly songs and drawing with crayons. ·         My car is yellow and full of things like pictures done with crayons and other art projects. ·         I like to seal the letter and envelope to my landlord with a Disney sticker every month. ·         And I DO go out to a movie on a Monday night…. ·         But I let the dishes sit in the sink longer than I should. ·         The china was given to me by an older friend who wanted to help me settle into my apartment. She asked what I needed, and I said “cereal bowls”. ·         Sometimes I use my office to draw pictures for school. ·         I also saw “Kung Fu Panda” and loved it. ·         The plants in my kitchen window are awfully sad looking, but I persist in watering them. ·         Sometimes I have popcorn for dinner, ice cream for breakfast, or eat a container of frosting over a less than four day period.

What do you think? Am I an adult? Or am I just an aging child?

Dr. House would judge me

Although it is way past my bedtime, I am nowhere near sleep. For some reason, the stresses and unfortunate news I have received over the past week or two have hit home tonight. I was going about my business just fine, happy as a clam (although I don't know exactly what clams are so happy about all the time), and I was driving home from dance class when suddenly the emotional discomfort struck. What terrible timing since sleep is such a precarious thing for me, anyway.

So I thought I'd have some ice cream and watch something on Hulu. Unfortunately, there was nothing new on Hulu that I wanted to watch. Furthermore, I decided I didn't want ice cream. So I returned the ice cream to the fridge and started popping an obscene amount of popcorn. It was alright that I was being noisy, because downstairs neighbor had (and still has, actually) his TV on pretty loud. I then proceeded to pour an even more obscene amount of melted butter on the popcorn and vigorously apply salt from my bear shaped salt shaker.

New and improved bedtime snack in hand, I returned to the couch to find new entertainment. Dissatisfied with everything on my shelf, I settled for House, season 2. I popped it into the computer and curled up under some blankets on the couch, munching away and handfuls of buttery, salty popcorn.

In the show "House", the medical team often breaks into their patients' homes and try to find possible environmental contaminants. While doing this, they make snide comments and remarks about the patient's lifestyle. In the episode I now have paused, they broke into the home of Dr. Cuddy, the anal-retentive chief of medicine. Her house was impeccable, and yet they found traces of a freaky kind of pneumonia-causing black mold. If they find that in her ridiculously sterile and clean home, what on earth would they find here?

This is Dr. House's face when he walks in the door to my apartment.

 This is his face after the results of all those tests come back. He can't believe what a petri dish I live in.

Currently, there are dishes in the sink, a bag of recycling outside the back door, two abandoned tea cups in the living room, and I think I may have left my tea cup in the bathroom this morning when I went to go brush my teeth. I admit that when I vacuum on the weekends, I don't always get under my bed or couch, so who knows what things could be accumulating down there? And I have not even considered cleaning things like the pipes under the sink! Then there's the whole thing where I have a cat, and there are messes that go along with that, such as plastic mice all over the floor, the occasional tumbleweed of hair, etc. On top of all of this, there is laundry folded on the big, comfy chair, ready to be put away, then dirty laundry on the bathroom and bedroom floor.

All in all, Dr. House is disappointed with me. Look at him judging.

The people in "House" never know that they are going to get sick, which I suppose is fairly accurate. There is no way I can predict if I am going to suddenly develop Lupus, ornithine transcarbamylase deficiency, botulism, or eastern equine encephalitis. Perhaps I need to start cleaning my apartment better. Perhaps I need to re-fashion my current lifestyle to reflect my fear that I will suddenly be struck down by an extremely rare disease and a team of snippy and judgmental doctors will break into my home and go through everything. It is kind of like that thing where you always have to put on clean underwear in case you are in an accident so that the peramedics know that you are a decent, civilized person. Only this is about 5,000 steps further than that in that I need to start scouring and disinfecting my apartment on a daily basis.

This may become a full time job.

Tennis, anyone?

In an attempt to be more social, meet people who don't work for the Rochester Public School System, and meet people in their 20's, I have signed up for another round of community education classes. As I may have mentioned in my last post, one of these classes is swing dancing on Thursday nights, and while I am meeting non-teachers, and I am being more social than if I were staying at home, I am not any closer to meeting potential friends who aren't teachers or people in their 20's. And last week I kind of got groped, so there's that. Still, the next few classes should be fun.

The other class I enrolled in in an attempt to be more social is an adult tennis class. I was rather nervous that everyone else in the class was going to know what they were doing, and I would stand out as the uncoordinated girl who had no business being there. My other fear was that it would be me and middle aged men, which would still make me the uncoordinated girl who had no business being there.

Luckily, (or unluckily?) the entire class is females. Still a little intimidated (especially by the one wearing a real tennis skirt!), I inched out onto the tennis courts and prepared for utter humiliation. When the tall, skinny instructor asked who was a beginner, I leaped at the opportunity to announce my incompetence. One other woman in a pink sweatshirt also waved her racket at the man. Then a woman with wavey hair looked at us and declared that even though she had taken some tennis lessons, she felt more comfortable with the beginners.

The three of us were put on the other court with the shorter, dark haired instructor. He has an accent (possibly English?) and a nice smile, so that makes the time a bit more enjoyable. He also is extremely patient, which is probably why he is teaching us beginners. His name is Mark, and I remember this because he told us his name, then he spelled it for us, which I thought was unusual. The wavey haired lady is also named Ivy. We have the same name, which is how I remember her name. The last lady didn't do anything interesting when telling us her name, plus we don't have the same name, AND no one addressed her by name during the lesson, so I couldn't hear it again. So, for now, we'll call her Pink Sweatshirt.

Pink Sweatshirt and Ivy (the tennis player) both work for Hormel, and they know each other from work. They must have signed up together, because they seemed to know a bunch of women in the more advanced group and, when leaving, told them they'd see them tomorrow. Pink Sweatshirt and Ivy (the tennis player) seem like perfectly nice women who may be close to my age and can be potential friends. We'll have to see how the next four lessons go.

Expecting complete humiliation, I was delightfully surprised by the tennis lessons. With our patient and cute-but-not-too-cute instructor, friendly women at about my level, and small class size, I didn't feel embarrassed by my complete lack of hand-eye coordination at all. Also, we're moving at about a pace I can keep up with, but when we do drills, we don't focus on one thing for too long so that I get bored, feel pressure, or get frustrated. Also, we move around enough that I am getting some exersize and working muscles I don't while dancing and playing with my students, but I didn't have to use my inhaler, pegging me as the geek I am.

All in all, I think this tennis thing is going to be fun.

In other news, the robot song I wrote about in this blog post and said I was going to teach my students has been a big hit! Unfortunately, I am already getting tired of it, and have started to roll my eyes as students beg to sing it again. I need a new song, and fast!

But while looking for new songs for my kiddos on youtube, I instead found this, and I think this is a fantastic video and really hope that some adults somewhere are using this "energizer" in their team meetings!



And OH MY GOSH! This also turned up! AHHHH! What on earth is this? Who made it? Why does it have so many views?



Are you as disturbed and confused as I am?

On that note, the new poll is ready in the top right hand area of my blog. Did you ever read From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler when you were a kid? Did you ever read it again as an adult? Hopefully, the answer to both of those questions is "YES!" So, if you were going to run away, where would you choose to live? Take the poll!

Results of the Chess Records Survey

I apologize for the delay, but you can relax at last. Below are the results of the Favorite Chess Records Artist Survey. Participation was down again, but I think that might be because I chose a more obscure topic.

Muddy Waters         20%
Chuck Berry             20%
Etta James                20%
Howlin' Wolf            40%
Little Walter               0%
Bo Diddley                 0%

I'll admit that I am surprised Howlin' Wolf won. I would have put money on one of the first three being the most popular. Perhaps it is because of Howlin' Wolf's name? This time I will not cast my individual vote as I am not even sure who I would vote for. I love Etta James, but Muddy Waters is a pretty big deal. And where would we be today without Chuck Berry?

In other musical news, I went to the MN Orchestra this weekend and quite enjoyed it. They were performing Mozart's "The Magic Flute". While the singing was in German (with subtitles of course), in this production they translated the speaking parts into English, which  was actually ok. Heart of the Beast Puppet Theatre did the puppets to go along with the show, and they were awesome, if not a little nightmare-inducing, as usual.

The only thing is that I forgot that "The Magic Flute" was so long! It was well done, funny, interesting to watch, and all, but I got home to Rochester rather late, which was too bad. Worth it, though.

I think my favorite Heart of the Beast Puppets would have to be the little woodland dancing animals from the first act. There were two skunks that were dancing that were pretty hilarious. If you would like more information on this particular group, you can visit their website.

Now I am looking for someone to accompany me to the opera this spring. Any takers?

The Last 24 Hours

I have done a lot in the last 24 hours, although it may not seem like it.

*Picked up and wore my new glasses. Only my first graders noticed that I have new glasses, despite the different color and the drastically different style. Not even any of the adults noticed. Or maybe they noticed and they hate them so much, they'd rather not mention them at all....

*Got a new beta fish. He is silver and purple and blue. I also bought him a bright orange plastic plant for his bowl. After spending the night in his cup so that the water in his bowl could come to room temperature, Rosario the fish is now happily swimming around in the front hall.

*Went to Evie's 2nd birthday party. My colleague and friend has the most adorable little girl. I was fortunate enough to get an invitation for her birthday dinner! We had delicious ham soup in bread bowls and lemon cake! Mmm!

*Went to a dance class. In an attempt to be more social and be with people who are not employees of the Rochester Public School District, I am enrolled in more community education classes. I thought swing dancing might even help me meet people in their twenties. While that did not turn out to be true, these people are much more friendly than the folks in the last dance class I took. And they don't mind switching up partners so that I can dance. Also, there are two other single women and one single (I think) guy in the class, so there aren't as many possessive behaviors over partners. There is a pretty awesome guy named Dana who was funny.

*Got kind of felt up. So I haven't been groped or felt up by an adult male in about nine months or so (my first graders have no sense of boundaries. That is a different story, though.) This man was my dance partner for an unreasonably long amount of time, but the instructors kept not calling for partner rotations. He took it upon himself to try to teach me how to get away from a dance partner who was getting too handsy. The beauty of this trick was that he almost had to be too handsy to "teach" me these moves.

*Ate a can of frosting. Oops.

* Went to bed early last night.

*Slept in until 7am this morning. Oops.

*Made ricotta stuffed chicken, which turned out pretty darn delicious, even if it made my kitchen kind of smell like burnt oil. There was nowhere else for me to put the hot pan, and the burners take a long time to cool down, so the oil got a little over cooked.

*Wrote this (pretty lame) blog post.

REMINDER: Vote on the poll! Tell me who your favorite Chess Records artist is! Confused? Need more info? Click here.

Birth Control Cookies

Sometimes I wonder if I need extreme psychotherapy because my dreams are so bizarre. Usually with an actual plot line and complicated twists and turns, my dreams often leave me in a state of confusion for at least the first part of my day while drinking my tea, getting dressed, and driving to work.

Last night I had a dream where I was in some sort of witch and wizardry school and had found the secret to making the best chocolate chip birth control cookies. Most of the dream was me trying desperately to hide the recipe and misleading others about how I actually made these super chocolate chip birth control cookies because obviously in the wrong hands these cookies could be a dangerous weapon.

One of my Baking and Witchcraft teachers had already invented the birth control cookie and was making quite a bit of money off of it. The problem was that it was only 80% effective, and since  the witch and wizard community had apparently never heard of the pill or condoms, they were relatively pleased with this particular percentage. I, on the other hand, had grown up in the real world and knew that we could do better. With only 80% effectiveness, there was still that 20% chance there would be a new, unplanned witchling or baby wizard. So naturally I thought it my duty, even if only a student witch, to go out and make a more effective birth control cookie.

I'm a bit hazy on the details here, but I succeeded. I invented some sort of spell to cast on the vanilla that I put in the cookies, rendering the consumer infertile for exactly 24 hours after ingestion. My chocolate chip birth control cookies were better than my teacher's for a variety of reasons.

1. They worked for exactly 24 hours, and after that you went back to being crazy fertile. (Everyone knows that witches and wizards are insanely fertile. They can get knocked up at the drop of a hat!)
2. Unlike my teacher's 80% effective cookies, mine were 99.9% effective.
3. My cookies worked on male and females, so it didn't matter who ate the cookie.
4. I put twice as many chocolate chips in my cookies.

Now, realizing that I had a superior product, but that my spell could be detrimental to our witch and wizard society if it fell into the wrong hands, I told my teacher that my secret was using twice the amount of chocolate chips and adding a teaspoon of apricot jam to the cookie dough. My teacher must have been a dolt or had apricot jam for her brains, because she happily believed me and even insisted that scientifically, that made sense.

But an evil witch was on to me. She wanted to take my spell and use it to curse all of the vanilla in all of the Hy-Vee's across the land. But unlike mine, her spell wouldn't last for only 24 hours. This evil witch was hoping to make all the witches and wizards she didn't care for completely infertile for all of eternity! Dun-Dun- DUN! Then, she was going to only let her friends and co-conspirators procreate, and soon her bloodline would rule the world!

Think of that power! You could get into a fight with someone, then give them a cookie and pretend you were making up. But soon they would realize that it was a super-chocolate-chip-birth-control-cookie (Let's call it an "infertilzing cookie"), and your bloodline would soon be wiped off the face of the planet!

For this reason, to protect all of witch and wizardom while still providing reasonable birth control to the population, I shared my secret with no one. I made all the cookies myself and had my teacher work the store front, since I was so tired from all that sneaking around and baking. It was a very popular product!

That evil witch was always following me around Hy-Vee, thinking she was so sneaky hiding behind the displays of Ho-Hos and tomato sauce, but I knew she was there. The stress of this life and the burden it placed on me was beginning to be a bit much. The evil witch was spreading rumors and doubt that it was really the extra chocolate chips and apricot jam that was making the cookies successful. She told everyone I had invented a new spell and was holding out on everyone! Of course she was right, but I was really trying to protect the population here.

Then one day, the evil witch cornered me in the back of the baking good aisle at the Rochester South Hy-Vee, and she was making menacing comments, threatening to kill me should I not share my secret with her. Trapped, I didn't know what to do!

Then I woke up because my cat decided to lay down on my face. It is very hard to breath with a cat on your face, even if that cat doesn't have much fur.

Even though it was a ridiculous dream, I don't think that a chocolate chip birth control cookie is that bad of an idea. People might remember better if it was in the form of a cookie. And you could have it as dessert with lunch, and no one would even know! Or you could have a cookie for breakfast every morning. How could that be bad?

Don't forget to vote on the new survey. Confused? Learn more about the artists here.

Results of the "Favorite 2 Person Board Game Survey" and Chess Records Artists

The results are in for the "Favorite 2-person Board Game Survey"! Yay! At last I will know which two person board game my readers prefer! While I chided you on the last survey for your lack of participation, I am pleased to report that this survey had more than double the participants. Still, participation is low, and those of you who aren't voting know who you are.

There is a three way tie for favorite board game, so after I share the results, I will have to cast my vote and see if that changes anything.


Mancala              0%
Othello                0%
Guess Who?       14%
Checkers             0%
Chess                  28%
Battleship            28%
Stratego              28%

To be honest, I am surprised that chess and Stratego tied with Battleship. Don't get me wrong - I love Stratego and continue to play with the set I've had since I was a child, despite the fact that some of the piece are mangled. AnneMarie, our dog when I was younger, munched on a few of them. Chess is a game I just do not enjoy. To cast my vote, I would have to vote for Battleship, making it the honorary winner of this particular survey.

For the next survey, you may need some background. This particular survey is going to ask you about your favorite Chess Records rock and roll artist. Recently, I watched the movie "Cadillac Records" and enjoyed it thoroughly. Then, while driving around Rochester this evening, I was listening to an evening show about the music of Bo Diddly, and it reminded me how much I really like early rock and roll music. Please see below to find out who these people are, if you are not familiar. And if you are not familiar with some of these folks, go and get familiar!

Etta James: Perhaps best known for "At Last", when she broke through onto the pop charts, this young artist with a rough exterior had many songs you should know. You can hear her put her heart and soul into everything she sings.


"All I Could Do Was Cry"



Can't you just feel her pain? Have you ever had your heart broken? Oh, Etta!

"I Just Wanna Make Love to You"


I dare you to listen to that and sit perfectly still.

Willy Dixon: Willy Dixon wrote a lot of music that was later redone by more famous, white artists including, but not limited to The Rolling Stones.

"Spoonful"

Man knew his blues and his bass.

Chuck Berry: Chuck Berry signed with Chess Records in 1955, after chatting with Muddy Waters in Chicago. His career took off, and he had singles at the top of the rock and roll and pop charts. You probably know "Johnny B. Goode" and "Roll Over Beethoven" at least.

"Roll Over Beethoven"


Howlin' Wolf: Nee Chester Arthur Burnett, this man howled like a wolf! His song "Smokestack Lightning" is listed as one of the songs that helped shape rock and roll.

"Smokestack Lightnin'"



Little Walter: Little Walter brought harmonica to the forefront of blues recording. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in March of 2008.

"Juke"


Muddy Waters: You better know who Muddy Waters is! Bringing Mississippi Blues to the Windy City, Muddy Waters was an important Rock and Roll and Blues artist. Even the Rolling Stones were a big fan, and supposedly named their band after one of his songs.

"Rollin' Stone"


Bo Diddley: The man sometimes known as "The Originator" because of his roll in bridging the blues with Rock and Roll. Many of his songs were later remade by artists such as Eric Clapton and The Doors. He also based some of his earlier music on children's tunes including "Old McDonald".

"Who Do You Love?"


So who do YOU love? Choose in the new survey!

New Music, Pizza, and Another Blog

Remember my posting entitled "Things that are Things that I Think I Should Share"? If not, click away and read. In this particular posting I included a song by the talented, up-and-coming Wisconsin artist, Jake Goergen. The song was "Open Relationship".

Want to listen to it again?



Get it? Because Jesus wants us to love and be with other people! I think it is funny and witty, and you should, too. Plus, while I can't for the life of me ever sing the verses, whenever I hear the term "open relationship", the refrain plays in my head. Play it again now and sing along. Catchy, right?

Now that you are all caught up and have had your refresher course, I can share this next song with you. The mightily talented Mr. Goergen has written and performed another song. Entitled "If You Don't Know by Now" and written while walking to a football game, this particular ditty is a bit more serious. Again, though, the refrain is particularly catchy and easy to learn.



If you are having a hard time understanding some of the lyrics like me (because you are listening to music from the tinny, tiny speakers on your laptop), the artist has graciously provided the lyrics.

"Sitting on a bridge with my legs hanging off
watching memories tangled on the shore
Season's passing by you were the apple of my eye
but I don't see you around anymore

If you don't know by now I guess you'll never know
never know never know

The leaves fall around me As I'm walking down the street
All along they just keep floating to the ground

they leave their impression on the wet concrete
A mark that lasts for months don't make a sound

A road that never ends and a light that never fades
and a pattern in the stars leads me back to you

You look the same, but I forgot your name
The pleasure of home is seeing something new" 

Now you can listen to it again and sing along. Isn't that handy?

And now that you have your dose of new music, take a moment and read this delightfully biting article comparing the merits of Cosmo and Bust. The Protagitron never ceases to amuse.

And in other news, I had pizza last night at "Nick 'n Willy's" with a third grade colleague. I had the Mediteranean pizza minus the chunks of tomatoes, and it was delicious. Today the other Ivy and I went to the Shops at University Square to play some board games and hang out (since both of our homes were too untidy to have company). We ended up eating at Zpizza there. I had the Gorgonzola and Pear pizza, which was delicious. I only ended up eating half the pizza, which means I will have enough for tomorrow's lunch. Then, as we were leaving, they were closing up shop and boxed each of us up a couple of extra slices of pizza on the house. Guess what I am having for dinner tomorrow? I will have pizza for four meals within three days. I am living the life, my friends.

Hello, Neighbor!

Those of you that know me pretty well know that I am not totally, completely, entirely sane. In fact, I am probably more on the crazier side. There are many reasons for this - my family of course is one of them. But who among us has not been at least pushed a teensy bit closer to the edge of their sanity by their family? But that is not what I am talking about right now. The reason for my insanity addressed in this blog posting is those irritating little songs I sing all day with my students.

I start my day by chanting the morning greeting with the first graders. You should know that I teach three classes of first grade, so I do the same thing three times in a row. That includes this chant:

"HEL-lo neighbor! (big corny wave and smiling face)
What do you say? (shrug with hands out)
It's gonna be a WON-derful day! (cheesy fist pump as if saying "golly-gee willickers!" circa 1942)
So clap your hands (3 claps)
And boogie down! (bend your knees and wiggle your butt)
Give a little bump! (bump hips with person next to you)
And turn around!" (turn around while waving hands in the air)

It has gotten to the point that I say it sometimes while doing the dishes. Sometimes while driving I say it in a funny voice.Sometimes when someone in the hall says "hello" to me, I have to stop myself from saying "HEL-lo, neighbor!" and doing the big corny wave. Sometimes I don't stop myself in time. The teacher I share a room with and I often catch ourselves chanting it robotically while working in the room together.  The poor woman has her prep in the room for one or two of my first grade classes, so she's heard it enough to drive her crazy, too. The kids still love it, though.

Another song I sing quite frequently to help kids get the ya-yas out and to prove a point that some words sound like other words, is "Tony Chestnut". I have gone to youtube for help on this one, since I know it is a pretty popular song among the educators of younger students.



I chose this woman because she looks slightly ridiculous, but still looks like she is having fun. Also, these her gestures are similar to the ones we do in my class. Of course, we sing a bit faster, don't have background music, and we don't sing that last verse about Russell. Still - imagine me doing this multiple times a day with my kiddos.

I can't do this song with my 4th or 5th graders who are 10 going on 21. Use your imagination for what gestures they might try to replace "Chestnut" with. Are you imagining something terribly inappropriate? Then you are probably right.

"Baby Shark" is a big hit with the third graders, and the first graders sometimes beg to sing it. For this reason, I often use it as some kind of reward. There really isn't much to it, which makes it easy to sing. But it also means I get bored with it if I have already sung it with the 6 classes before.

Here is a group of adult teachers singing the song pretty much the way we sing it in our class:




But more hilariously, here are two guys singing a different version of this song. A bit morbid for the first graders, but I get a kick out of it anyway.




We sing "The More We Get Together" with sign language, Head and Shoulders Baby, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, The Cat Missed the Bus, and 5 in the bed.

We've also been singing this song about families as part of the curriculum. I am not even going to look for it online because it is truly awful.

Ooooh! I found this song! Maybe I will learn this one and teach it to the kiddos! We definitely need more crazy songs in our repetoire! The students need to be moving and silly, while I need to try to hang onto what little is left of my sanity by teaching new songs!




I like this one! Much good has already come from writing this particular post!

And then in an attempt to stop myself from just randomly breaking out into these songs, please enjoy this inappropriate, adult clip from "Drunk History".






Alexander Hamilton sure had a lot of phone calls to make. And I have that same predicament all the time. I can't reconcile killing someone with my political beliefs. But I can't reconcile my political beliefs with NOT killing someone. It is quite the pickle to be in.

Biscotti 101

Today I went to Sopra Sotto to take a biscotti making course. I figured it was Sunday, no one wanted to play with me except Squeaky, I didn't particularly want to do any more housework, and I didn't even really need to go in to work. Alas, the events in Rochester for this weekend were slim pickings, so I had to do a little google research outside my normal realm.

I found Sopra Sotto, which is an Italian goods store in the fancy-schmancy complex called "The Shops at University Square" (which I find amusing since we have no four year university actually based here in the city). This particular course was only on biscotti, was purely demo (we did not get to even go behind the counter), and was a fraction of the price of their other classes. With nothing better to do, a curiosity, and in an attempt to fulfill my goal of being more social, I went and paid my $25.

It was pretty amazing. Kathy, our instructor, is an Italian-Lebanese woman who grew up in Canada. Her husband is French-Canadian, which makes her all the more awesome. She was even wearing an apron from a store in Quebec City, and I recognized the artist! I have been in that store more than once!

Kathy did all the heavy lifting in the biscotti course while the rest of us sipped cappuccinos, cafe americanos, and a glass of Tuaca, which kind of burned going down. She tried to press another cup of coffee with amaretto on us, but there were few takers. I am pretty sure they were trying to get me a bit tipsy, but eratic with a caffeine buzz. But with nowhere to go and no one to see later, I didn't mind. Especially since I walked to the class, probably a mere half mile or so from home. Kathy was an awesome demo instructor, and kept us all entertained and involved in the conversation. She answered all our questions, even when they weren't about biscotti, but about other Italian foods. Her husband and I had a nice chat, too, about music, McGill, and Francophones in Quebec.

We made Biscotti di Prato, Amaretto and Cherry Biscotti, Honey and Anise Biscotti, and Chocolate Hazelnut Biscotti. They were all amazing, and she made it look so easy, I can probably accomplish similar results at home. My favorite was probably the Amaretto and Cherry Biscotti, with the traditional Biscotti di Prato in a close second. I think my father would enjoy the Honey and Anise Biscotti, and while it was my least favorite, it was still fabulously delicious. Interested in a recipe? Let me know which one you want.

Let's check on the day's goals, shall we?

Learn to Make Biscotti: Check. Completed.
Be More Social: Well....Check.....but still with people twice my age. I think I need to re-examine my lifestyle choices. Everything I do has me surrounded with people 10-20 years my senior. Don't get me wrong, these people are awesome, but they are at a different point in their life. I have no kids, no spouse, and no kitchen-aid mixer. That is where I am at with life, and I am pretty happy and secure in my life lately.

More goals and directives for this week:

Go to yoga class
Finish To Kill a Mockingbird in time for book club
Start Northanger Abbey
Find and befriend people my age

That last one is going to be the toughest one! I can do it, though! I will persist in my stubborn, albeit so far unsuccessful, attempt to find single people my age to play with!

And for goodness sake! Take the game survey!

Results of the Jane Austen Heroine Survey

Dissappointingly, only three people participated in the Favorite Jane Austen Heroine Survey. Is that because you hated the survey, you didn't know where to find it, or you haven't read any Jane Austen?

The results are as follows:

Emma (Emma)	0%
Eleanor (Sense and Sensibility)	33%
Marianne (Sense and Sensibility)	0%
Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)	33%
Fanny Price (Mansfield Park)	0%
Anne Elliot (Persuasion)	33%

	Again, I am a bit disappointed in the participation. I guess if I had voted, I would probably have to vote for Eleanor from Sense and Sensibility which would put her as the winner for this particular survey.
	In other news, I spent the entire gift card I received from a student today at Barnes and Noble. One of the books I bought was To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, because I am supposed to have it read by Monday night for the book club I joined. I also purchased Northanger Abbey. Remember when I said I was going to read Northanger Abbey and Emma over winter break? Obviously that didn't happen. But it is my goal to read Northanger Abbey by June 2011. That seems reasonable, right?
	Not having read To Kill a Mockingbird since I was 14 years old, I am pleased to discover that it is quite good. I read about 1/3 of it this evening while baking an orange chocolate torte, making cheesy risotto, drinking tea while waiting for dinner to cook, and while drinking a half glass of white Zinfandel and eating dinner. It is as good as critics say, and even more surprisingly, as good as I remember it.
		Now take the new survey! Quick! Before you forget!

Williams-Sonoma is My Porn

Williams-Sonoma is my porn. I used to wait with bated breath in anticipation of the arrival of the catalog each month. I would pour over each page with lust, first reading the catalog cover to cover. Then I would go back and evaluate what my imaginary (and extraordinarily large) kitchen really needed. Of course that would need to be re-evaluated a couple of times over the next few days. Finally, I would sigh and choose just one or two things that I would love to have in my kitchen. Then I would never buy them, because, let's face it, their beautiful merchandise is a bit on the spendy side.

Now that I no longer receive the catalog in the mail, I pour over their extensive website, oohing and ahhing. On one hand, no one can see the beaten up catalog lying on my coffee table and give me an odd, slightly concerned look, but on the other hand, it is almost more dangerous. On the internet, the website suggests other items I might like. And often it is correct. I would like those items! Another dangerous part of the online perusing is that I now have access to the entire Williams-Sonoma inventory - including their sale items. And unlike the catalog, it is really easy to just click on things and put them in your cart. Once I even clicked "checkout" and gawked at the total, then the total with shipping, before emptying my cart and closing my laptop.

The following are some especially exciting items:

This is a reversible meat tenderizer. You may not know this about me, But I love to tenderize my meat! For years I have been using the back side of an ice cream scoop, while all the while lusting after this beauty. This year I finally broke down and bought a much more affordable, but not nearly as cool meat tenderizer from IKEA. This is still on my wish list.

 

They call this an Ebelskiver pan. Apparently, ebelskivers are filled pancakes, and you can fill them with almost anything imaginable - chocolate, whip cream, apples, caramel, etc. This just looks like way too much fun.

Here is a picture of someone actually making fruit filled ebelskivers using the special pan and tongs. Why get the pan if you aren't going to spend the extra 11 or so dollars on the special ebelskiver tongs?

You can't tell, but I am drooling as I gaze upon this picture. I really want this 10 piece glass bowl set. First of all, I have no little tiny bowls. Second of all, the one small, green, plastic mixing bowl I have from the dollar spot at Target that has a slight indentation where someone (not me this time!) put a hot pan up against it is just not cutting it. What if I want to mix two things at once? Or what if I want to make a normal sized batch of cookies? Right now, that is just too bad. But imagine what I could do with these 10 glass bowls......

 This is an insulated tea pot. It keeps up to 6 cups of tea warm at a time. I could just bring the tea pot into the living room with me, and sip away at my tea all afternoon. I could go hours without having to get up and go to the kitchen to reheat the water! Imagine the convenience!

 This is just about one of the most amazing things ever. This is the 11 piece Le Creuset bakware set in the color "flame" (or in normal people talk - "orange"). Never mind that these pots are super heavy and I am a weakling. Once there is food in them, I am sure I will never have to move them from one place to the other. Or I could just get my imaginary, devoted boyfriend who looks amazing in flannel to move these once I start cooking. He won't mind. And sure, I have no where to store this set, but remember, this goes in my IMAGINARY kitchen. That is where my imaginary boyfriend is anyway. As for the absolutely ludicrous $1,310.00 price tag, don't worry about it. My imaginary, devoted, amazing boyfriend who looks fantastic in flannel just happens to be a young, successful, brain surgeon.

These pancake molds make pancakes shaped like the moon, the sun, and Saturn if they all had happy, smiling faces. Need I say more?

Ignore the fact that I have a folding table that is actually supposed to go outside, and pretend that I have a beautiful dining room with a large dining room table where I frequently entertain and my guests eat food I cooked in my orange Le Creuset bakeware. Wouldn't this tablecloth look great?

All this and more keep me entertained at the Williams-Sonoma website. I probably spend about an hour a week looking, admiring, and lusting over their gorgeous merchandise. In other news, last time I was up in the Twin Cities, I stopped by the store and got the Halloween pancake molds on clearance! That was very exciting. I don't see why one can't eat bat shaped pancakes all year round. I may get clever next fall and try to make pumpkin pancakes in the shape of a pumpkin.

I also signed up with my new address to start receiving the catalog in the mail. I can't wait!

Reminder: Don't forget to take the "Jane Austen Character Quiz" in the top right-hand corner of  my blog!

How old are you?

My younger (but much taller) brother came to visit me in Rochester, and he volunteered in my classroom for a little over one day. In that time, he had many interesting encounters.

The first question every student asked him was about his age. What is it about elementary students being obsessed with age? Many of my students repeatedly ask me how old I am. Instead of telling them how old I am, I give them the month and year of my birth and tell them they can figure it out. I figure the math practice is good for them. Unfortunately, most of my students are incapable of 4 digit subtraction, and those that are are incapable of setting up the problem to begin with. A few of my students have successfully done the math (one third grader even did it in his head!), but the other students, for whatever reason, refuse to listen to them. Kids are funny.

One 1st grade boy wanted to know if Max had a bike. When he said he didn't, this boy immediately assumed it was because Max broke it, and he spent the next twenty minutes being really distracted and repeatedly asking Max why on earth he broke his bike?

While Max was reading the oh-so-exciting story "Dim Sum for Everyone" to  a group of 1st graders, one student raised her hand and asked Max why some people have blue eyes. I'm not sure what made her think of that question - perhaps it is because my brother has very blue eyes? Max, after a confused look and a quick snicker, told this student he wasn't going to answer that question right then. I pointed out to her that it had nothing to do with the story, and she kind of dropped it. Later, Max told me he kind of wanted to explain the whole science behind blue eyes. I am glad he didn't.

One student reacted particularly strongly to Max. This 4th grader hid from Max at first, then began rapid firing questions such as "Are you a monster?", "Are you from outer space?", and "Are you evil?" When Max humored him and answered these questions, this student warmed up to him. He asked Max if he had facial hair (which he obviously did), and then began describing, with gestures, the beard that his 13 year old brother was trying to grow. Then he tried to set Max up - not once, but twice - with his 20 year old sister!

Of course there were many other things that got giggles, including one first grader who wrote "My favorite food is sushi" on her paper, but actually wrote "I fart slushi.", which I find infinitely more amusing.

Kids are hilarious. Granted, they are trying at times and make me want to pull my hair out, but overall they are smart, sweet, adorable, amazing, amusing, and hilarious little people!

'Twas the Year Twaleven (2011)

Twas the year twaleven,

And all through the apartment

Squeaky and I were not moving

Because we felt so darn spent.

The stocking was hung on the shelf there still.

Putting away decorations can be such a pill.

Squeaky is snuggled in the corner of the couch.

Since she’s been shaved, she has been quite a grouch.

And I in my cephalopod shirt and zebra socks,

Have decided that this year, twaleven, already rocks.

When suddenly from my stomach came such a clatter!

I haven’t eaten in two hours is what is the matter!

Away to the kitchen I flew in a flash,

Looking for something on which I could gnash!

The leftover pizza still sits on the counter.

And the open wine in the fridge I will soon encounter.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a white chocolate cookie near an empty bottle of beer.

I thought I had cleaned fairly well from the party,

My friends’ appetite for drinks had certainly been hearty.

We’d played Bananagrams, Dirty Minds, and Kings for a start,

And of course there was talking – a real heart to heart.

Appletinis, Fat Tires, wine and champagne,

Rum and Cokes and mojitos we drank without strain.

To the kitchen! To the living room!

Now play some games! Play some games! Let’s resume!

As midnight drew nearer,

It became so much clearer,

That despite our young ages it was hard to stay awake.

Kyle and Dani took a little catnap break.

And then with much plastic glasses clinking

We rung in the New Year but before the champagne drinking –

We realized we still had a minute to go

So we redid the countdown – reenacted the show.

And once the New Year had barely started,

Each person to their resting place they all parted.

Since my apartment is not all the large

We had to do some creative arranging with Paula in charge.

With all us asleep much before two,

I had plenty of time to dream about who

Is important to me in this coming year,

And with all of the recent changes in my life, I have little to fear.

There are good times and bad times – ups and downs,

And the year twaleven will certainly have smiles and frowns,

But I am happy to be here and happy in life,

I’ll learn some new things this year – maybe playing the fife?

So to all my friends and family whom I love so dear –

Thank you so much and Happy New Year!

Results of the Ideal Pet Survey

The results of the "Ideal Pet Survey" are as follows-

100% of you think cats are the ideal pet.

No one chose hermit crab, which is kind of a shame.

Remember to take the new survey on the top, right hand side of the screen. You should all participate!