Take Pity on my ASL Teachers

Tonight on Halloween, only seven people showed up to our ASL on the go community education class. With only four teachers, this meant we had plenty of time to ask questions and practice. We met at Barnes and Noble at the Apache Mall, and Denise, David, and I started with the interpreter and Julie in the music section. We did not really learn about music so much as park ourselves down in the corner and learn signs such as "school", "educate", "chemistry", "history", etc. that have to do with education.

After that, my group of three was sent to Stacy and Greg over in the children's section where Greg sat in the King Chair on the stage, and the rest of us sat on the teeny-tiny benches around him. We practiced verbs and whatnot dealing with communication. Then, Greg read us a story about a Frog and a Toad going sledding. It was kind of cute.

At the end of class, Greg was going to sign and perform a song with the music (for the benefit of us hearing people), but we had to find the other group before he could start. As we were wandering around, I decided to try to talk to Stacy, who seems like a nice person. Unfortunately for Stacy, I am not at all good at sign language. Fortunately for me, Stacy is very patient.

Our conversation went something as follows:

Me: Where work you?
Stacy: (something) work (something something)
Me: Work where?
Stacy: (something something) not work (something) live farm (something about parents) work students one on one (something) hearing (something something)
Me: Ok. You have what farm A-N-I-TNM-A
Stacy: 2 (something)
Me: 2.....
Stacy: 2 (something.....something....SOMETHING)
me: D-O-N-??? H-O-R-GHA-S.....H-R-.... H-O-R-S-E?
Stacy: Yes. (something something) dead (something) horse (something) sleep (something) horse.

Me: (Sad face trying to express regret at what I think is the loss of her two horses)

Stacy: I have 14 farm cats. They live outside (something something). (Something something something).

Me: I like cats. You more cats. More cats?....not more cats....A-L-O-T (What I meant was, "you have a lot of cats.")
Stacy: I have chickens. (Something)

Me: Chickens? You eat eggs? Eggs?

Stacy: Yes. I eat the eggs. They are delicious.

Me: You eat chickens?

Stacy: I eat chicken eggs. (something)

Me: You eat chickens?

Stacy: I eat chicken eggs. Chicken (something something something) brown not good white good (something something) chicken (something something) egg (something) Eggs are good.

Me: I like chicken. Eat chicken.

Stacy: I have cats in the house and two dogs in the house.

Me: I have one cat. No more. I have one fish. No more. No more. Not noisy my house. Me. No more.

Stacy: (something) house (something)?

Me: Restroom? No....R-R-......Rochester?

Stacy: house? Apartment?

Me: Apartment. Me teacher. (Remembering I think she lives with her parents or maybe her grandpa) Two happy new years before me live mom dad house.

Stacy: That saves money. Apartments are expensive.

Me: Yes. But now not mom dad house. Me. No more.

Stacy: Living alone is expensive.

Me: I teacher Rochester. Mom Dad house Twin....(something, probably something obscene)

Stacy: Twin Cities?

Me: Mom Dad house Twin Cities.

Stacy: That is a long drive.

And so on and so forth. Poor Stacy was probably wondering why I was asking her these questions and telling her these inane details of my life. Really, I just wanted to practice, and I love watching her expressions as she signs. Also, she is pretty low-key and patient. Maybe I will practice and prepare some sentences and questions to bombard her with next week for the last class.

At the end of class, Greg performed and signed along with "Hotel California", which was really very cool. He is very dramatic, and it was exciting to see signs I knew and try to catch new ones. His rhythm was really quite good, and the whole time I had a huge smile plastered on my face. When I wasn't watching Greg, I was watching Julie as she smiled and showed her delight in Greg's performance. I have heard this song several times before and know it by heart. Julie has never heard it before.

Busy Fall Playlist

This fall has been a busy one, especially between work and the developments in my romantic relationship with the handsome Mr. Sturm. I seem to not have enough time to go out for nachos with friends, do my dishes, or even hang the pictures back on the wall that have been sitting on my living room floor since I painted in August.

Still, this fall has been a good one, and I am feeling stressed, but confident and happy, so I have compiled a playlist to enjoy on an autumn day. The days are getting shorter and colder, the leaves are falling off the trees and crunching under your feet when you walk, work demands every waking minute from Monday to Friday, but the weekends are yours.

Manic Monday - The Bangles
This classic off of The Bangles’ album “Different Life” was played quite often during my childhood. I’ve been thinking recently about the cassette tapes that were played repeated as a child, and this was one of them. I often feel like Manic Mondays aren’t necessarily on Mondays, and I disagree that Sunday is the fun day. It really all depends on the week. Still, the sentiment is accurate, even if Susanna Hoff’s Manic Monday is my average day, plus it is incredibly catchy and fun to sing along with. Sometimes I imagine I have shoulder pads, hoop earrings, and awesome bangs.

Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
This song always brings me back to 6^th grade English class with my teacher, “H”. He used to play music rather loudly while we  did our independent work. While he played many different songs, he really cranked this one and Sugar Ray’s “Every Morning”. All around, this is a good song, whether looked at musically, emotionally, or lyrically. In fact, Chris Martin from Coldplay was, on the record, heard saying that he wished he had written this fabulous song.

I Put a Spell on You - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Halloween is nearly upon us, and so I put a spell on you, my friends. Now you are all mine. Just try to listen to this song without singing along and doing dramatic, slightly witch-like hand gestures. I dare you.

Crimson & Clover - Tommy James & The Shondells
While perhaps on the long side, this is an excellent song. Also, if you are looking to learn the lyrics to about five minutes worth of music, this song is the song for you. There really are not that many words. Still, it is fun to listen to and sing along with, and even my music-listening-in-the-car-ADD can be staved off, despite the repetitiveness. Might I also recommend the Jimmy Eat World rendition?

Young Folks - Peter Bjorn and John
I wish I could still whistle, but after the unfortunate rollerblading accident several years ago, alas I cannot. Still, when alone, I pretend to whistle along to this or replace the whistling with “doo”s and puckered lips, which is almost as effective.

Don't Bring Me Down - ELO
 Mr. Sturm is convinced that there is no word after the “Don’t bring me down!” part, but I disagree. I’m pretty sure they are either saying “Grrrrrruuussss!” or possibly “Bruce!”, and I am also completely convinced that it is an integral, intentional, important part of the song. One day, it will just come to me, then I will know the secret of life.

Hot Blooded  - Foreigner
Poor Mr. Sturm had to hear part of my off-key, ear-damaging rendition of this song this past weekend. It had been a little too long since I had last eaten, and I was getting a little slap-happy, so I was singing this and being goofy. Politely, he asked me, “What is that from?” To which I responded, “From? It is a song by ‘Foreigner’! Can’t you tell?” When I resumed singing, he concluded, “We need to get some more food into you.” That’s how I got caramel brownies.

Keep Your Hands to Yourself - The Georgia Satellites
While not really a country music fan, nor do I believe the whole “getting the milk for free” thing, I enjoy this song a ridiculous, almost embarrassing amount. Best cranked to an almost uncomfortable volume, the sing-alonger must mimic the inflection and vocal tics of the singer in order to truly enjoy the experience. It is also really important to kind of act out the parts. For example, when he says, “That’s when she started talkin’ about true love, started talkin’ about sin,” the sing-alonger must put their hands out and place an incredulous, almost confused look on their face.
Oh man, is this a fun song. 

Let's Spend the Night Together - The Rolling Stones

The Rolling Stones need to make most playlists. I really quite enjoy The Rolling Stones, and some of my favorites don’t really belong on this particular list. I am getting what I want, I can get some satisfaction, I am not a Honky Tonk Woman, and I don’t need anyone to give me shelter, I’ve got that taken care of, thank you very much. And so, I can focus on other things. And after all, “This doesn’t happen to me every day. Let’s spend the night together. No excuses offered, anyway.”

Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingford
The first time I heard this song, I did not like it. The second time I heard this song, I still did not like it. Somehow, I managed to hear it enough times that it has wormed its way into my heart. And you know what? I do. I do have a pocketful of sunshine and a love that is all mine, so there.

You Don't Know How it Feels - Tom Petty
You don’t know how it feels. You don’t know how it feels – to be me. While I am not about to go roll a joint, I do love to sing the chorus if I am mildly frustrated. Just get to the point already! Come on, people!

You Always Make Me Smile - Kyle Andrews
 This happy song is fun to listen to in the parking lot at work before going in. While Mr. Sturm does not wear colorful gym shoes (in fact, he wears black, non-tennis shoes), nor is his hair particularly messy (unless I’m purposely messing it up), it still reminds me of him because he always makes me smile. And smiling is good. Smiling is fun. Smiling makes you happier and want to smile even more.


Enjoy your sweater weather!

Adventures in ASL

In an attempt to be more social, work fewer hours, and keep my mind and body active, I am again participating in the wonderful world of community education. This semester, I am taking Yoga I for an hour and a half every Thursday and American Sign Language on the Go ever Monday. Let me assure you that this combination has my mind and body increasing in flexibility already.

The ASL class is basically an introductory class to get people interested in the real, more expensive, academic course. Over the course of six weeks, we go on mini-field trips around the city and learn specific vocabulary. We have gone to the mall, Fleet Farm, and Hy-Vee so far. We are going to go to a book store, Best Buy, and somewhere else that I forgot.

These locations lend themselves to fun, hands-on learning, but it also means that I have a very bizarre vocabulary in ASL. I cannot say basic things like, "How much does this cost?" Or even, "I am hungry." Or, "How old are you?" However, I can say things like, "I must rotate my tires and change my oil today." And, "I don't like that ugly, grey, fake squirrel fur coat." Or, "I want a diamond belt buckle for my dog." When I would have to say these things to a Deaf person, I have no idea, but I can say them.

Whenever one of the four teachers shows us a sign, we all repeat it, then they move on to the next part of the store. Behind them, we're all mumbling to ourselves and signing a bunch of signs. For example, last week at Fleet Farm, one of the teacher showed us the sign for "furniture", then turned her back to us to lead us to the furniture section. She turned around to make sure we were following, and we were all practicing. If I were her, I would have laughed because I would see a passle of adults all saying, "Furniture. Furniture. Furniturefurniture. Furniturefurniturefurniture. Furniture." And today, we learned a bunch of random signs in a row, and I was practicing as I was following one of the teachers. How he managed to keep a straight face as I said, "Bear. Pillow. Popcorn. Bath. Diamond ring. Coffee. Make more coffee now. Squirrel. Ugly. Ugly belt buckle. WOW!" is beyond me. I bet the four teachers go home and tell their families about their crazy, rambling students.

Now I am going to go talk to myself in the shower.

Furniture. Bubbles. Soap. Cheese. Paper. Paper towel......

(Almost) Beautiful Compliments

As an elementary teacher, I get many backhanded compliments from my students. Below are just a small sampling of some of my favorites.

"Ms. McDougalhopper, you look beautiful.....today."

"Ms. McDougalhopper, you look like you're sixteen."

"I know you are really old because you are so smart."

"Hey! You brushed your hair today!"

"Why you wear that? I like red."

(As I'm walking down the hallway cleaning my glasses) "Ms. McDougalhopper, I like you with your glasses on."
Thank you. 
"Yeah. You look really weird without your glasses."

Super Awesome Facts

To balance things out from my disgustingly feelings-related, mushy, lovey-dovey post yesterday, I am going to try to make a super awesome facts post. To find these super awesome facts, I used the very scientific method of typing "super awesome facts" into google, then taking the top fact from the first ten pages that came up. Please note that because these facts are super awesome, I have not, nor do I intend to, do any sort of research or fact checking to make sure they are credible. Believe the following 10 super awesome facts at your own peril.

1. Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.
2. There was no punctuation until the 15th century.
3. Facebook's stock is apparently worth 5,600 billion dollars.
4. ROBLOX has made about seven hundred ninety three "useless" trailers for their video games. I don't know what ROBLOX is, but you should know the next statement after that fact was, " And boy, do they lie!"
5. The average human adult has 206 bones, while the average human child has 300 because bones fuse together as we grow.
6. Groupon's business model is facing scrutiny.
7. The phrases "super fun" and "communist" are not compatible.
8. Bio-reactivity research about Kava is hard to come by.
9. Despite going into the playoffs as the #6 seed, the Green Bay Packers were the favorite for the 2011 Super Bowl.
10. If you put Saturn in a giant tub of water, it would float.

Mm-hmm. A More than Mushy Post (Barf)

It was my full intent to write this evening about the Minnesota Opera's production of Cosi Fan Tutte, but unfortunately for you, my mind is elsewhere. The show was good, and I'd love to discuss the disturbing staging choices that were less funny and instead made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but instead my mind is focused on the company I held this weekend.

As you are probably aware, Mr. Sturm accompanied me to the opera, but he also watched a movie with me Friday night, went for a walk with me on Saturday afternoon, and his whole family came over for the experimental trial run of the outdoor oven today. If mushy things make you want to barf, you should probably stop reading, or maybe get a bucket or garbage can closer to you.

At one point over the weekend, we were all curled up, snuggling, talking about this and that, and I was getting more and more tired. When Mr. Sturm informed me that it was late, and time to get up, I glanced at my watch. I certainly didn't disagree. It was late, and I was half asleep as it was. Still, I kind of ignored him the first time.

So we talked a while longer, and when the end of our time was mentioned again, I couldn't deny it, and I had already ignored the first warning, so I gave him a sleepy, "Mm-hmm."

"I know that 'mm-hmm'," he told me.

The smile on his face and the tone of voice he used as he gave me a quick squeeze took me a little off guard. I loved the way he responded to my sleepy "mm-hmm". Needless to say, it made me want to let go even less.

Numerous times over the last year I have referenced how living by myself has made me weirder and weirder. Without a roommate, significant other, or family members to keep me in check, I've really developed some bizarre habits, and I've kind of let my crazy run free. I might have the coffee table a mess, but every day the piano books are stacked exactly right when I'm done playing. I might not make my bed, but all the bottles and containers in the shower go in certain spots. I may wear real clothes to work, but I rarely wear all the clothes one would require to be seen by another person when at home. I eat food off the floor, sing out of key at the top of my lungs, have ice cream for breakfast, eat two dinners, hit the snooze button three times, and leave books on every surface in the apartment. I talk to myself, dance around, make weird faces, use the stove top to go through important paperwork, and can dirty every mug in the cupboard somehow.
 
So far, he has not been phased by anything, but I often wonder what the tipping point would be? I am not a good liar, and I am a pretty open person. Honestly, he makes me very comfortable and I am myself around him. I guess I'm not worried that he'll discover that I'm a weirdo. I'm more worried that I'm not so worried about it.

But for now, I'm going to continue enjoying this feeling of contentment and daydream about that smile.