Adventures in ASL

In an attempt to be more social, work fewer hours, and keep my mind and body active, I am again participating in the wonderful world of community education. This semester, I am taking Yoga I for an hour and a half every Thursday and American Sign Language on the Go ever Monday. Let me assure you that this combination has my mind and body increasing in flexibility already.

The ASL class is basically an introductory class to get people interested in the real, more expensive, academic course. Over the course of six weeks, we go on mini-field trips around the city and learn specific vocabulary. We have gone to the mall, Fleet Farm, and Hy-Vee so far. We are going to go to a book store, Best Buy, and somewhere else that I forgot.

These locations lend themselves to fun, hands-on learning, but it also means that I have a very bizarre vocabulary in ASL. I cannot say basic things like, "How much does this cost?" Or even, "I am hungry." Or, "How old are you?" However, I can say things like, "I must rotate my tires and change my oil today." And, "I don't like that ugly, grey, fake squirrel fur coat." Or, "I want a diamond belt buckle for my dog." When I would have to say these things to a Deaf person, I have no idea, but I can say them.

Whenever one of the four teachers shows us a sign, we all repeat it, then they move on to the next part of the store. Behind them, we're all mumbling to ourselves and signing a bunch of signs. For example, last week at Fleet Farm, one of the teacher showed us the sign for "furniture", then turned her back to us to lead us to the furniture section. She turned around to make sure we were following, and we were all practicing. If I were her, I would have laughed because I would see a passle of adults all saying, "Furniture. Furniture. Furniturefurniture. Furniturefurniturefurniture. Furniture." And today, we learned a bunch of random signs in a row, and I was practicing as I was following one of the teachers. How he managed to keep a straight face as I said, "Bear. Pillow. Popcorn. Bath. Diamond ring. Coffee. Make more coffee now. Squirrel. Ugly. Ugly belt buckle. WOW!" is beyond me. I bet the four teachers go home and tell their families about their crazy, rambling students.

Now I am going to go talk to myself in the shower.

Furniture. Bubbles. Soap. Cheese. Paper. Paper towel......