You Know You're Old When.....(Part 1)

You know you're old when you want to tell off teenagers for making out in public.

I'm officially an old lady. If you thought the tea-drinking lady in her pajamas, cat in lap, listening to jazz music and going to bed by 10:00pm of last winter was old, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Yesterday I went to dollar bowling night with other Ivy and Ashley. Yes, against my better judgment, I went out bowling after 9:00pm on a Monday night with work the next day. Sometimes I like to remind myself that I am young and can do such things. It was kind of nice, too, because even though I didn't get home until after 10:30 (almost 11! Gasp!), I did not pay for it today. I was as chipper as ever, which was good because my students nearly drove me to the brink of insanity and back again.

But I'll get back to the original point.

For some reason, they put us three down at the farthest lane, and even gave us a buffer lane. In the lane closest to us was about 15 teenagers. I'm not sure why there were so many teenagers sharing one lane. Also, they were like 15 years old. How did they get to the bowling alley?

The fact that there were 15 year olds out past 9:30 on a Monday night, and so many of them were sharing one lane is not what bothered me. What bothered me was that they spilled over into our seating area.

Alright, even that would have been tolerable. I do spend the better part of my week in a room with teenagers.

What really bothered me was that they were sitting in our area totally making out and groping. Groping! Like hands where they shouldn't be grabbing, sitting on top of each other with visible tongue action groping! I mean, I was a teenager once, and sure I was kind of frisky with the boyfriend at the time, but I would never, NEVER, have been as handsy in public at that age.*

And then I knew I was old because I wanted to go over and tell those 15 year olds that not only were they too young for such shenanigans, but that no one wanted to see that and cut it out! Making out and groping is not to be done in public!

To top it all off, even when we left at about 10:35, those teenagers were still bowling and groping. Sigh. Golly gee willickers do I feel old.

*Not when people were watching, anyway.

Results of the "How You Keep Your Brain Young" Survey

As a person who is getting crazier every day and may or may not be developing adult onset ADD, I think losing my mind is probably going to happen in the near future. However, volunteering with older folks with Alzheimer's and dementia has made me think that maybe if I "exercise my brain" I can stave off the inevitable for a few extra years (weeks? days? hours?). I love doing crossword puzzles and any sort of game that involves word-play. I have even been trying to learn jazz music to make my brain do math without thinking that it is doing math.

So I asked you, friends and strangers, to tell me your favorite way to "exercise your brain".

Which type of "brain exercise" do you prefer?

Crossword Puzzles	(14%)
Sudoku	(28%)
Jigsaw Puzzles	(0%)
Jumbles	(0%)
I prefer to sit and stare at the wall, slowly allowing my brain to turn to mush.	(28%)
None of the above	(28%)

I am not terribly surprised that just as many of you enjoy sudoku as like to sit and stare at the wall, allowing your brain to slowly turn to mush. Interestingly, the same number chose "none of the above". What does that mean? What do you do? How are you keeping your brain young?

I already told you what I do. It doesn't seem to be working, though. I am constantly walking into rooms and forgetting why I went in there. I can't figure out why everything is blurry if I don't put my glasses on right away in the morning. Most alarmingly, however, I find myself muttering under my breath about teenagers. What are those kids doing, out at the mall at 8pm on a Wednesday night? Damn kids! Riding their skateboards down the side of the highway! Why are they blocking the entire sidewalk? Why?

But my growing sentiments of frustration towards teenagers aside, I think my brain works pretty well. I haven't done any irreparable damage to myself yet.

Speaking of irreparable damage, next Thursday I have a four hour (Yes! That is 4 hour!) appointment at the Mayo Clinic. Hopefully some of the best doctors in the world can help me get this breathing thing under control. When the woman on the phone asked me if my appointment had to do with some sort of work environment or injury thing, I responded, "Nope. This is just the way I am." And she laughed. Nothing funnier than making a joke out of something not funny at all.

I have to go. A bunch of cars are sitting outside my apartment honking at each other. I bet the cars are full of teenagers! Humph!