How to Get Hitched: According to Kindergarteners

Kindergarteners say the darndest things.

Today I wore black hose with my purple dress, and this apparently shocked some of the little munchkins. "Miss!" They said to me in awe, "Miss! You are turning into a black person!" "Miss! How did you make your legs black? Why are you turning black? Can I be black?" Imagine their confusion when I pinched the hose and pulled it away from my legs. I tried to tell them it was just tights, but I don't think they all bought it. A friend of mine this evening said I should have messed with them and told them that yes, indeed, I was turning into an African American and that hopefully the metamorphosis would be complete by Monday. I think that's just cruel, though.

About 30 seconds later, one little girl asked if I was married. When I said no, I am not married, she told me that I should get married right now. The little boys at her table agreed wholeheartedly. Then I wouldn't be "Miss", I could be "Mrs.", which I guess is way cooler. The group of 5 year olds then devised a plan for me to meet my "Mr." All I need to do is not really look where I am going and look really busy. Then I will bump into a man and he will say "Sorry" and we will fall in love. Then we can get married and be happy forever. I wonder how many cookie-cutter romantic comedies these kiddos have seen?

I still think their plan is pretty funny, although I might think it was more funny if I wasn't having such big issues with Joe right now. I am really on edge. Believe me, it is hard to be disconnected from the man you love and your best friend at the same time. Bummer for me, I guess, that they are the same person. I always thought of it as something awesome in the past. Luckily, I have many supportive friends (THANK YOU ALL!) that have done a wonderful job of helping me keep a positive attitude in the week long silence between the Twin Cities and Madison.

Maybe I should start shopping for Jennifer, my future pet bald eagle.

Awesome Pet Names

So as you may or may not know, I am currently student teaching at the elementary level. Luckily for me, I have the opportunity to spend my mornings in an entirely ELL kindergarten. We are currently studying animals, which is super fun since I get to make animal noises and ask silly questions (which, to my amusement, my students have to actually consider) such as "Which is bigger? The mouse or the lion?" or "Is a rooster a big or small animal?"

Anyway, getting to the point of my story, the kids had homework. They had to go home and cut out pictures of animals they would find in a pet store and make their own "pet shop" picture with labels. One little girl, we'll call her "Dina", came up and shared her pet store that had a cat named Sassy, a dog named Chica, a canary named Pretty, and a mouse named Little. Now the point of the labels was for them to write things like "cat", "mouse", "hamster", "dog", etc. but this girl is pretty shy, so we didn't say anything.

Next up for sharing time comes a talkative young fellow - we'll call him "Douglas" - who loves attention of any kind. Anyway, "Douglas" has an eagle, a cat, a little dog, and a beaver in his pet shop, which I thought was a rather interesting collection of pets. They were correctly labeled as the animal they are. When he was done sharing, he was asked to sit down. "But wait!" said Douglas, "Don't you want to know what I would NAME these pets?" Naturally, I said yes, and I am sure glad I did.

My new favorite names for future pets:

Dog: Juicy Sharkboy
Cat: Clawripper
Beaver: Hamster
Bald Eagle: Jennifer