Really? REALLY?

While driving home from Pizza Hut yesterday with my medium pizza and breadsticks intended only for me (please hold your judgement), I was behind a mini-van for a while. This mini-van had one bumper sticker on it. Between the silhouettes of two naked women, it read:

FBI: Female Body Inspector

This struck me as odd. In fact, it confused me and my brow began to furrow as I tried to think of any possible situation it would be appropriate for the owner of a mini-van to display that bumper sticker.

The only possible reason I could come up with was that the person in the vehicle really was a Female Body Inspector. They have some sort of small business, just getting started which is why I haven't heard about it, inspecting female bodies. The mini-van is the company car, and the bumper sticker is merely a way to identify and advertise for the company.

Otherwise, I find the whole thing completely inappropriate and puzzling.

Because I'm Awesome (#7)

Because I am awesome, I held a first grader's chapstick hostage today. At the end of the day, all students must be lined up in their bus line on the blacktop. No students are allowed to play on the "Big Toy" (which in my day was called a "jungle gym" or "playground") even if they are with their parents. I noticed a little girl playing on the Big Toy and had to try to corral her back to the blacktop. She would not go. So I picked up her chapstick and swore not to give it back to her until she got back in her bus line and then followed the procedure for boarding the bus. For whatever reason, this worked like a charm.

Also because I am awesome, I started the day with my skirt on the right way, around my waist, with the zipper on the left side. By the time I got home this evening it was on backwards with the zipper on the right. To make matters even more interesting, the right side was much higher because somehow the hook had gotten caught up in my sweater. Needless to say, it was tricky getting it off. It should also be noted that I did not notice this even a little bit until I tried to take my skirt off so I could sit in my leggings and t-shirt on the couch to eat a whole box of macaroni and cheese by myself.

Finally, another reason I am a completely awesome person today is that I did a 20 minute yoga routine on the floor while Squeaky flitted between my legs and over me.

Proud Esawal Teacher

As you know, I teach English as a Second Language, which in my district is called something different and is shortened to ESOL, where you have to say all four letters.

Today, one of my first graders got in trouble with me for using unkind words. Later in the morning, I went into the little room with the floor space and my desk to see a tiny note on the white board that read:

I'm sarry. I love you. I love Esawal.

It pretty much made my day. I guess we need to talk again about what the name of my class is.

How My Life is Perceived by 2nd Graders

My second grade students have been practicing the complex, plot-twist-filled, action packed play of "Ana and the Greedy Giant" in two small groups. I informed them today that I was going to try to borrow a camcorder or buy one tonight to record their performances tomorrow. Then I asked them, "Why do you think I want to record your performances?"

In his most sincere, loving way, one of my students raised his hands and said:

Well, Ms. McDougalhopper, you're not married. When you are old and alone some day in your home, you will want to watch the play and remember the students you used to love.

The answer I was looking for was something along the lines of, "So we can see ourselves perform", "to compare the groups' performances", "to check on our fluency", or whatever. What I got was something much more insightful and depressing. I do love my students, though.

Lesson on Cause and Effect for Big People

Today in third grade we talked about cause and effect. Some key points are as follows:

*Cause is what happens first. It answers the WHY of the effect.

*Effect is what happens second. It happens because of what happened earlier.

*When we use the word "so", the cause comes first and the effect second.

*When we use the word because, the effect comes first and the cause comes second.

*One cause can have many, many effects.

We did a couple of SMART lessons on cause and effect, then we did some Ms. McDougalhopper specific ones. What happens if Ms. McDougalhopper spills her tea? The students had some very interesting ideas for possible effects to my life, some more alarming than others.

Cause: Ms. McDougalhopper spills her tea.

Effect #1: She makes a mess on the floor.
Effect #2: She has to clean up her mess and it makes her late for a meeting.
Effect #3: She becomes crabby.
Effect #4: She is crabby and late, so she loses her job.
Effect #5: She ruins her new clothes.
Effect #6: She cries.
Effect #7: She becomes horribly dehydrated and has to go to the Mayo clinic.

Some of those effects have causes and effects right in them, but you get the point. The third grade students were really getting the concept.

Now is your turn to practice. Remember what we learned above. See if you can match the cause to the effect.

Cause	Effect
1.       1. I spilled my tea.	A.      I order a medium size pizza with garlic bread and eat it all myself.
2.      2.  My car needs an oil change.	B.      I take two “headache formula” pills and chug a Coke.
3.      3.  I burn my dinner.	C.      I lost my job.
4.      4.  I have a headache.	D.      I try to avoid morning showers.
5.       5. My alarm goes off at 5:45.	E.       I go to the meeting.
6.       6. The shower head is broken.	F.       I ignore the light until the car sputters and spurts.
7.      7.  I don’t want to go to a meeting.	G.     I hit snooze and pull the covers over my head.

Prepo-Preposition

Today I heard this song numerous times with my fifth graders:



There are some errors in the typed lyrics, but that was fine. Can you guess what we are studying right now in our fifth grade ESOL and intervention grammar groups? Did you guess prepo-prepositions? Then you are correct.

It was amazing to see some of the students who don't usually engage perk right up and sing along. Also, we did this kind of as an intro before taking our notes, and the kids were adding things to the definition and answering questions before the information was even on the board. It is always impressive, even though I myself studied in college and still memorize things today by turning it all into made-up songs, how much people can remember and learn from music.

My little brother (who isn't little) is looking to get his MA in music therapy and focus on using music to help Alzheimer's and dementia patients with memory through the use of music. Yesterday while volunteering, a patient who is never coherent, though sweet as sugar, knew all the words to every single Christmas carol we sang.

Music, my friends, is incredible. In fact, it is so fantastico.

Latkes and Loved Ones Make Me Sleepy

I'm as happy as can be because I got most of my work done and had a pleasant weekend with Mr. Sturm and my family. Then, I came home and had a delicious, overly large, excessively fancy for Sunday night meal consisting of the following:

1 glass of peach iced tea
1/3 bag frozen steam in the bag green beans
1 side dish of chunky applesauce
2 potato latkes
1 Trader Joe's Smoked, Apple Chardonnay chicken sausage
2 S'mashing S'mores

Now I am happy on a ridiculously full stomach, sprawled out in my sweats, deciding if it is worth the effort to get off the couch and into my bed.