The following are headlines from Friday-Sunday's editions of the fake, non-existant newspaper published by and about my apartment residents (me and Squeaky):
Last Night of Booty Burning Boot Camp Success
Did Not Die as Anticipated
Tennis Lessons Continue
McDougalhopper Still Hasn't Hit Self in Face
Snow Almost Gone
Mud Prevails
Gorgeous Weather!
Apartment Windows Open for First Time in Months!
"Scrabble Sentence Game for Juniors" Competition
Out-of-Town Contestant Wins 98-83
Mac's Cafe Delights Yet Again
Never Enough Brown Sugar Butter
Temperature Rising
Allows for Slightly Windy Walk
"Merchant of Venice" Movie Review
Spoiler: No One Dies
Working on a Sunday
Not a Lot Done
New Runner for Top of Piano
It Has Birds!
Cafe Presto Exploration
Tea and Onion Rings
"Scrabble Sentence Game for Juniors" Revisited
Ivy Against Other Ivy
Mutter Paneer and Couscous Served For Dinner
You Know You're Jealous
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