Maybe I licked my phone. Maybe I didn't.

Oftentimes I make questionable decisions, especially when I am alone and there is no one near to judge me. Of course, even with people around to judge me and deter me from questionable decisions, I may still proceed because I have little shame. The whole point of being judged by other people - and having a fear of being judged by other people - I think is to make you stop and think twice before doing something that society frowns upon or that just might not be good for you. Sometimes I shrug and carry on anyway.

Take for example, my habit of eating food I find on my apartment floor. (Please note that I do not eat food that I find on the floor in my classroom. That would be gross, and I would certainly have several dibilitating diseases now if I did that.) If I find a piece of popcorn on the rug near the couch, I totally eat that. If I find a jellybean in bed, even if I can't remember the last time I had a jellybean, I eat it. After swallowing, I might begin to think about how long that jellybean has been in the sheets, but whatever. I have no regrets. A marshmallow falls on the kitchen floor and I don't find it until the next evening. That marshmallow is still good!

Unfortunately, this inability to hesitate before eating food can sometimes backfire. I don't mean that I eat a piece of popcorn that has been under the couch for a month and then I get sick. That could possibly happen, but it would never teach me to stop eating popcorn off my floor. I'm not that smart. (Or maybe I'm just incorrigible and adorably stubborn?) The kind of "backfiring" I am talking about is when I eat something off the floor, out of the couch, or out of the bedsheets, and it turns out not to be food. Maybe it is a piece of fuzz. Maybe it is something else. I don't know.

Maybe just now after eating popcorn, I sat back down and thought I saw a piece of popcorn on my phone. Maybe I then licked my phone to make sure that the popcorn made it into my mouth and didn't fall on the floor and also to get over the need for an intermediary (my hands). Maybe then that piece of popcorn turned out to be a piece of paper. Maybe I hesitated before spitting it out.

Maybe.